I'll take care of you
by Holly79
Summary: So this is my first FanFiction. Elliot gets custody of a little girl and has to learn how to take care of her. And he finds help in some one who needs just as much help in life as he does. He is not with Kate in this story. This happens at the end of Fifty Shades Freed but before the epilogue.
1. Chapter 1

"Hello?"

"Hello this is Zooey smith calling from Seattle academy I have a student here whose parents have not picked her up from school and as policy states I need to call a social worker because it has been a few hours and this has happened for the past three weeks." I hate these calls they seem so unnecessary compared to other one I have had. Don't get me wrong I understand the teacher is upset but it's an academy student, which happens to be the most exclusive and expensive school in Seattle well probably all of Washington. The child's parents are probably just working. But at least she has parent most kids I see daily do not. Well they do but they are usually into drugs or in prison.

"Miss?" I guess I really should pay attention

"I'm sorry I'll be right there." Obviously. I tell her.

"Thank you this is Carolina Reid correct?" It's probably some young intern who calls and doesn't ask who they are talking to

"Yes. I'll be there soon about twenty minutes." I hang up quickly. I'm not in the mood for being polite at the moment well I haven't been in a good mood in a while being a social worker isn't all I thought it would be I thought I would be helping people making their life better but lately it seems like all I do is visit people's homes of abused children. They lie and say everything is fine. Their parents lie and say they are so close and the next day I get a call from the hospital saying there is an unidentified child with signs of physical abuse. And then they are placed into protective custody. It's really becoming a routine. If one would just talk to me that really would be helpful. So I get into my ford escape and start driving. As usual traffic sucks but that s probably because I'm so used to the Nebraska road and the Nebraska traffic which was non-existent. I get to the academy and it's nice. It has a college campus feel even though it is only an elementary school. As I walk into. The office I notice that the campus is deserted only about three or four cars and it about 8:30pm so there after school extra curricular activities must have finished.

Walking into the receptionist desk I notice a little girl. She's beautiful. The most striking blue eyes I have ever seen but they are sad she is playing with her hands and I can see her calves they have some bruising but they are more of a yellowing color so that must mean that they are days old. I don't think she noticed me when I walked in but as the door closes behind me she looks up and her eyebrows move to form a little v just above her nose. For an academy student she sure doesn't look rich. Her hair is oily and has many tangles. Her clothes although they are her uniform have obviously been worn for too long. The sleeves on her white button up shirt are much to short and the khaki shorts she is wearing are also short. But she's quite beautiful. Her parents must be pretty attractive to have had her. That's right her parents the reason I'm here.

"Hello I'm Carolina Reid. Lina for short I was called about a child here." I say to the receptionist.

"Thank you for coming. I'm Joan Bailey I'm the assistant principal." Oops I guess not the receptionist. "Everyday for the past three weeks her parents have failed to pick her up until after 9pm after. They usually don't answer the phone until after six but I have called and they haven't picked up. And like I said policy states... "

"I know the policy the only thing I can do is take her to her home because her parents have picked her up. Late obviously but there isn't much more the system only interferes in extreme situations." I interrupted her but I don't care I know the policy I don't need her to remind me. And her voice is a bit annoying to be honest.

She walks toward the little girl and kneels in front of her.

"Isabelle miss Reid is going to take you home okay?" The little girl Isabelle apparently seems to trust her that's nice not many kids have that.

I walk toward her and give her a small smile. "I'm Lina. Are you ready to go home?" She shrugged. Not much of a talker. Well let's go she picks up her bag and picks her sweater up from the floor.

"I can take you backpack so you can wear your sweater is cold outside. You can use my umbrella it's raining outside. "

She puts her sweater on and we start walking outside and it walk next to her and she grabs my hand and stops I see Mrs. Bailey walk out to her car and quickly leaves as I wait for Isabelle to talk. And then she does.

"I'm not ready."

"Not ready for what.?" I ask

"To go home. I'm hungry and there is no food at home. Can I stay here." Those eyes I don't want to say no but the school is closed and the only other place she can eat at in my care is at a hospital.

"What happened to your legs." I ask I don't really know why I asked that so suddenly. Oh wait I do I need her to tell me so that I can have a reason to take her to the hospital.

"My mommy pushed me into the stairs." She whispers

Wow not many kids would just admit it so easily why didn't she tell her teacher that? But right one it doesn't mater she told me and now I can take her to the hospital.

"Ok well we have to go to the hospital and make sure that you are okay and that you didn't break anything is that okay?"

"Can I still get food?" She must really be hungry if she agreed to a hospital.

"Of course you can meet my friend she's really nice her name is grace she likes to help kids just like you. "

She nods her head and takes my hand again. She doesn't say another word on the way there. But I did try to ask her things. How old are you? Do you have any sisters or brothers? Favorite color?

As we park I turn around and ask her "are you ready?" She looks at me and nods and smiles sadly.


	2. Chapter 2

As we walked to Isabelle's room I try to reassure her that everything is going to be okay. That was one one of the first things I learned in school, reassure your clients. Almost all of my professors in school said that phrase on a weekly basis. Monica, our nurse is walking us into the pediatrics floor. As we get to the nurses station I notice Grace is walking towards me.

"Who's this?" She asks me looking down at the little girl next to me. Isabelle tries to hide behind my legs.

"This is Isabelle. She's a first grader at Seattle academy." Grace looks up at me she looks at me with me with a confused look. It's because of the school. Private school kids don't get forgotten. They usually have their nannies pick them up but they are rarely abused.

"Her parents were late to pick her up again. I... She needs a doctor. So I brought her here."

"Okay. We'll let take a look at her shall we." We follow Grace into the room and Isabelle immediately takes a seat on the bed. She's done this before. The hospital stays. But if her calves are any indication to what is happening at home then she does have experience and this isn't her first visit to a hospital.

Grace takes a look at her chart and sighs and signals me to follow her outside. "She's been here before. We'll not this hospital but she does have a history which indicates that she has been physically abused. Her first time being admitted was when she was three and a half years old. She had a broken arm. She's had quite a few injuries in the past years. Have you spoken to the parents?"

"No I haven't gotten a hold of them their phones go straight to voice mail and there is no answer in the home phone." I tell her.

"Okay well you should probably go and check her house it's actually close by and see if there is anyone there while I do an exam. What do you know about her family so far. "

"Nothing yet. She's an only child. She lives with her mom and a boyfriend I believe but that's all. I'll find the mom and see what more she can tell me. Well if she does say something. Most people aren't very open with social workers." She nods her head at me and we both stand outside the window and watch the little girl a little longer. She's playing with her hair trying to make it go to one side but with all the curls it only goes back to each side. It's really too short to move. It sits just above her shoulders, but it's nice. She looks at me and I smile at her and walk into the room. I grab the chair and sit next to her.

"I have to go find some one but Dr. grace is going to stay and take care of you. She has to check that your okay. Then a nurse is going to come and bring you something to eat. I promise I'll be back as soon as I can. And then I'll stay here with you. Is that okay?"

She looks at me and her eyes start to get red and watery. I hope she doesn't cry. I have to find her mom and talk to her. She looks down at her hands as a tear slips out of her eye. I don't want to leave her here or anywhere. I have this sudden urge to take care of her, not just watch after her like I do with other kids but there is something about this little girl that just breaks my heart when I think about leaving her.

"You'll come back?"

I grab her hand "of course. As soon as I can." I see her nod and get up from the chair as Grace comes into the room along with a nurse.

"Check her legs." I tell them as I walk out the door and home that she is okay in their.

I was never one to drive uncautiously but I wanted to get to this girls home so I can just get back to her. So I speed though the streets. I get to her house in about ten minutes. Along the way I noticed that it wasn't what I expected of a student who attends a private school. It is by no means a bad neighborhood it's just not as nice other neighborhoods. Her house is a simple beige one story house with a white door that at the moment is open. In front of the house are at least five parked police vehicles. People are walking in and out of the house whispering. I park three houses down because there is no where else as I get out of the car I notice that there are neighbors standing outside their houses talking to each other. "She was a whore. Nothing good was going to come from her." "I heard she had at least four men in there with her Saturday." Saturday. That was four days ago today is Wednesday. As I kept walking I continued to hear them talk about her. Damn nosy neighbors they only care about someone else if it helps them pass the time.

"I'm Carolina Reid. I'm the social worker. " I say to the first police officer I find out side the house. He's a young officer maybe twenty-six years old. We'll not too young since twenty six is older than me but still compared to the other ones here he seems friendly.

"Good we called about fifteen minutes." He starts walking to the house. And I follow him. "A delivery man said he saw the body through the window and told the neighbors but they didn't seem to interested. So after work he came by again and when he noticed the body was in the same place as when he has come early then he broke in and called 911."

Im not the social worker he called but it's the right address so at least I can deal with this too. But why do they need a social worker? And then I understood. No one has been able to get a hold of Isabelle's mom.

"Wait a body? I have an Isabelle Anderson at the hospital this is the address listed in her school records I have been trying to get a hold of her parents for hours. Who else lives here?"

"According to the neighbors just her and her mom. That lady right there" he says pointing to an older woman with long white hair and looks about 70 years old "says that a boyfriend comes around but when he does he only goes to be the shit out of the girl and her mom. We think he maybe a suspect in her murder but at this point the paramedics who came are saying its an overdose. He was taken to the station a while ago." Ok well it's probably her mom In there, dead. Isabelle's mom, Stephanie Anderson.

"Does she have any other family?" I hope she does she's nice and changing her school would only cause her to be even more isolated.

"Yes." Good. "Well kinda she was in foster care, the mom Stephanie and she has a cousin who was also in foster care he was adopted and she was too by different families. That's really the only family she has. She apparently moved to Seattle a few years ago but I don't think she talk is to that cousin too much."

He keeps talking to me and starts going on about how nice the Seattle weather is. I kind of zone out after a while and think. I nod my head so he thinks I'm listening. Damien taught me that. He always said you don't have to listen just act like it. I miss him. But I don't have time to think about him now maybe later or tomorrow. Isabelle. That's right. Well I guess I could go see this cousin. No I don't really want to I'll just go back to the hospital and have the hospital call him and see if he can meet me there. I nod my head again. But for now I'll just go and see if I can take anything from her room some clothes many be some toys that seem important to her. Nod. Something from the mom. She'll want it to remember her by later.

"What did you say the names cousin was? I need his information to get a hold of his and I'll need. A few things for the girl. When the other social worker comes tell her to call me."

I hand him my card and walk past the living room and make my way through all of the detectives and past the body. I can't look at the body I've seen a dead body before and it wasn't a good sight. But it's worst when it's some one you care about. I take a few articles of clothing and a locket that sits on her bed the clothes are very nice but nothing in this house is. It smells like cigarettes and vodka. There is even an empty bottle in the bedroom. I wonder how they got there but seeing everything in this room, in this house it wouldn't surprise me if her mom was drinking in here.

"This is his information he works at grey construction. His name is Elliot Grey. He doesn't have a wife or any kids listed. He's the brother of that business guy whose suppose to be really rich. Like loaded rich and just got married like four months ago. Have you heard of him Christian Grey?" Of course I had everyone had heard about him after his wife was kidnapped or something I don't really know much about that story but the name was familiar. Grace knows that family I wasn't sure how but when the wife Anastasia got Kidnapped she freaked out and was telling me about how upset Christian had been I think she's friends with the dad because she's always saying how they are good kids to Carrick and whatnot.

After that I made my way to the hospital. It's now about 12:34am and Isabelle is asleep and Grace is sitting next to her filling out some papers. I can't tell her about Elliot and how he may be related to Isabelle. She would feel guilty and force him to take her and I can't do that I don't even know know he may be an ass for all I know and this little girl deserves so much more.

"She had bruising in her arms. She was dehydrated and after the exam she fell asleep we don't want to wake her but when she wakes up let the nurse bring her food. She must be hungry. Her ribs are bruised and she had a dislocated shoulder I don't think she knew that but we set it back in place. Where's the mom?" She says all of that with out looking at me and when she finally finishes and notices I haven't said anything she looks at me.

"She's dead. Overdose I brought her some clothes and I'm going to contact a distant family member now. You can go I can stay with her." And with that she leaves and I call Mr. Grey.


	3. Chapter 3

After calling Elliot Grey. He had told me that he will come to the hospital. He sounded surprised that he had cousin. Grace had allowed me to use a conference room while I talked to Mr. Grey. I still haven't told her who is the relative and I should but it's probably best if he tell her himself. I waited an hour from when we spoke on the phone for him to get here. Elliot Grey is tall with blue eyes just like the girl. He is attractive, very muscular but not over the top.

"Ok so what am I here for again?" He asks me as we sit down.

"Were you aware that you had a cousin living in the Seattle area? Not cousins retaliated by your adoptive parent. " I ask him.

"No I didn't. I don't know anything about my biological parents. It never mattered. Why?" I can tell he's becoming uncomfortable. Most people who are adopted become that way when you talk about their biological parents. And I feel bad asking him this but I had to.

"Well you had a cousin Stephanie Anderson she died yesterday of an overdose. And you happen to be the only relative she has." That's a good start. Just talk about what happened.

"Well I'm sorry. I don't know what that has to do with me. I just heard about her I don't see why I'm here." He's running his finger through his hair.

"Miss Anderson actually has a daughter. Who now has no family to care for her. There is no listed father in her birth certificate and because you are the only relative I am forced to have to ask you if you will be her guardian. She's currently in the hospital being treated for dehydration and a dislocated shoulder."

"There isn't any one else. I don't even know her." He sounds so desperate to not have to take her.

"There isn't. "

I don't know what to say at this point I could tell him about the fact that she was physically abused but at this point I don't-

"Dehydrated? Wait how was her shoulder dislocated?" Well this sucks. But it really would be easier if her just asked grace I only know so much at this point.

"You should ask her doctor, grace"

"That's my mom." Well I certainly wasn't expecting that. Because that mean that ... Well it doesn't really mean anything for them.

After he said that a nurse came to the room and told me that Isabelle was waking up. Without so much as a good bye I got up and left him. He probably needed time to think so it didn't really matter I'll come back later.

"Hi the nurses are bringing some food they said you fell asleep." She was sitting in the bed and was rubbing her eyes with her fist it was really cute.

"Do you like macaroni and cheese?" She was practically still asleep but she nodded her head. I pushed the tray toward her and she looked at the food and then looked back at me. She looked back and forth a few times and looked at me as if asking permission.

"You can eat it. It's for you."

"All of it?" Her question didn't really make sense why would I bring her food and only let her eat some of it.

"Yes? It's for you ." I was surprised when she completely forgot the fork by her plate and started to eat. Well if you consider grabbing food and stuffing it in her mouth, eating. I noticed that she would look up at me every few seconds as if I was going to do something to her food. When I took a step forward she starting eating even faster.

"You don't have to eat so fast no one is going to take it away." But I relaxed it was too let and she had already finished all of her food. After she ate I started asking her questions jut to see how much she would be willing to tell me. She is almost six years old and she had a rabbit that was in her back yard but it died because it dint have food. She also doesn't know anything about her now uncle Elliot if you can call if an uncle. Besides "Rick" the boyfriend there isn't anyone that really visits her or her mom. She also hasn't asked about her mom and I don't want to be the one to tell her about her mom. I don't think I can really do that to her. As she keep talking to me she falls asleep. I tuck her in and kiss her forehead. I can't do that and shouldn't I should be attached I have to distance my self but I can't with her. As I walk back to the conference room I hear shouting.

"She isn't even your kid it's just some kid you don't know from a cousin you don't even know. And have never even heard of and you expect me to want her. You don't have to take her you know that right?" What a bitch. I mean she's right I guess but I'm sure there a way to go about it.

"what are you saying that I should put her in foster care. And-"

"Well yes Elliot that's what I'm saying it's not our fault her mom died. They'll find her a family and the state can take of her and we can be young we can't have kids. I don't think I want kids and you know that." I should have turned around and just walked away but I couldn't. This is such a long argument. Fifteen minutes later there's still going on about it but it's getting toward the end based on the screaming.

"I said no Elliot. If she goes in our house I'm leaving and you can take back your damn ring.'"

"Fine then leave if that's your answer to everything then go I don't fucking need you."

"How can you pick some stranger girl over me? We're suppose to get married?" Married? Poor man she sounds terrible.

"She doesn't have anyone I know what that's like Kate. I can't put her into foster care I know what that's like. I didn't have anyone before I was adopted."

"Get over it, it was a long time ago. No Elliot she's not living with us."

"Fine." I can't believe he caved so easily but being with her how can you not she sounds so selfish. "Just have your shit out of my house by tomorrow."

And with that she gets out of the room and slams the door. I would give him some time but he really seems to need some one. As I walk into the room I see him sitting on a chair and his hands in his hair and his elbows on his knees. He's beautiful even now that he looks so broken and upset there is something about him that keeps me in my spot maybe it's because he's broken. I've always been very attracted to people like that. The people who are sad and alone. Maybe it's because he reminds me of me. Alone. But he had a choice and I didn't.

"Can ... Can I get you anything? I heard what happened I'm sorry that this was thrown on you so suddenly. " he looks up and I notice his eyes are rimmed red. He's crying. I'm usually not awkward with crying people but with him I don't know what to do. He stands up and steps forward and I take a step back. He notices my reaction and tilts his head to the side.

"No it's fine. Can I meet her?"

"Sure. Follow me." As we stand out side her room I tell him that I can stay in the room and help her become used to him. He seems very grateful.


	4. Chapter 4

As we walked into her room she looked up at me and then at Elliot. She quickly got the blankets and covered herself. And shifted back a bit.

"Hi Isabelle. This is Elliot. He wanted to come and meet you. " Elliot who was behind me stepped forward and sat on the chair next to the bed.

"It's nice to meet you. I'm your moms cousin." She dint say anything she just kept staring at him. He kept talking to her talking about how he had a mom and dad and he had a brother and a little sister. But she wasn't talking all she did was look at him. He even tried telling her a joke but she didn't make any noise she didn't even move. When he started asking questions and noticed that she didn't reply he turned to me.

"Does she know how to talk?" I didn't really understand why he would ask that.

"Yes she's just a little shy she doesn't know you and she hasn't really said much to any one. Why?"

He shook his head. "When my brother first came to live with us, when he was adopted he didn't talk to any one for the first few years. I thought maybe that's what is happening to her."

"She has talked. To me she has I don't think she talked to Grace or any of the nurses though." She hadn't she seemed very afraid of everyone but not me.

He asks me to go outside the room to talk. "Can you help I know she has to go home with me and I want her to trust me. "

"Your going to take her? I thought you wouldn't since your girlfriend... I. Sorry I shouldn't have been eavesdropping..." Crap that's embarrassing. I didn't mean for the to come it I especially didn't to be too excited. But excited for who? For me? I was happy he was taking her but it should be that big a deal it's just another client. He smiled at me.

"It's okay she got pretty loud. Yeah. I know what it's like to be in the system and I can take care of her. Well financially but I don't know anything... Anything about raising a kid. How old is she's six right?"

"Five she'll be six in a few months. It's okay. You'll be good with her."

"How do you know? You don't know me." He snapped at me and I wince. It kind of surprised me he didn't seem like the guy who snaps at people. I look at him and blink with my mouth open. Close your mouth Lina you'll look like an idiot I tell my self.

"Sorry I just I don't know how to take care of her. Or anyone for that matter... Fuck." He curses a lot. Well my idea of a lot.

"It's fine why don't you take a seat and I'll get you some thing to drink? Coffee? Just sit with her maybe she'll get used to your presence and start talking to you." He goes back into the room and I make my way into the cafeteria.

As I'm waiting in line Grace comes up to me and asks about Isabelle. And I let her know that the family member has arrived and will most likely be taking her. She informs me that she will likely be discharged in the morning which is in about 5 hours at around ten am. I grab my hot chocolate and Elliot's coffee and as I walk away Grace tells me that she will stop by and meet the family. I wonder what she's going to think when she sees that it's her son. As I walk back to the room I decide to take to long way. It gives me a chance to think.

I pass by the nursery and stop and see all the babies. They're all so small. With their blue or pink hats on. I remember when Damien and I went to see his sisters baby we thought that we would be next. The next ones that would be in the hospital having a baby. A boy we wanted a boy and then a girl. We had it all planned out. Well Damien did. He always planned everything. He planned out my life for me and I didn't mind it gave me a sense of security. But now I don't have that security now I just go to work, go home. That's my plan now go to work, go home. It was easy then. I start walking again when I noticed the tear going down my cheek.

When I walk into the room I notice that Elliot and Isabelle are drawing a picture. And she's smiling. She stops and he starts drawing and then he stops and she starts. I get closer to them but the picture doesn't really make sense it's just lines blue and black inked lines but it's doesn't matter as long as they are getting along.

"Why did you bring two?" He asks me as he quickly glances up at me?

"One is hot chocolate and one is coffee. " I tell him as I put them down on the table. He picks up the hot chocolate and starts chugging it. I must have taken longer than I thought if he can drink it so quickly.

"So I have to ask because I need to start on the paper work: Are you taking her?" He nods. "Well she's going to be discharged in a few hours so the doctor is going to come in and take a look at her and I have to start on the paper work. So I have to go need sign into my office page but I'll be back as soon as it's done." Both their head quickly look up at me and I feel like I'm going to get yelled at like I said something wrong.

"Can't you stay a while longer with us I know that it's weird but I think she likes you and I want to ask you about how to take care of her like what I need and stuff. If your just going to sign in can't you do it from the hospital in any computer?"

"I can but my computer is at my house and that even farther than th office."

"I have my laptop in my car I'll bring it for you." Before I can protest he gets up and leaves me with Isabelle and I don't mind I want a few more hours with her. And him.

"Do you like Elliot. He's really nice isn't he. He said you can go live at his house now that your mommy is in heaven." The doctor had told her that her mom died but because she is young she doesn't really under stand. She doesn't know how she died and that would be even worst what does some one say? Oh your mom had too many drugs too fast and her heart stopped. No it's decently best this way.

"Yes he said he's a con... contuction worker. So he gets to build houses and he can build me a tree house and we can go on a boat but I don't want to go on a boat because I can't swim. But he can swim. Can you show me to swim and we can all go on a boat?" That's probably the longest sentence she's said to me and she didn't even take a breath which I'd really cute. But everything about her is cute. Especially her hair. After sleeping it got even more messed up so now it looks likes blonde Afro. And her blue eyes are more alert now they are not as red now that she has gotten some sleep. They are a bit lighter shade than Elliot but both are beautiful. I have brown eyes which are kind of boring but at the right angle in the sun the look hazel. And everyone have light eyes in Nebraska.

"I can teach you" I tell her. She grabs my hand which takes me by surprise and I look up at her.

"You promise."

"Yes I promise." And I will if I can I'll be with her somehow.

"What did you promise." Asks Elliot as he comes back in her room with a laptop case. He quickly sets up the computer and has it ready for me before he even sits down and hands it to me.

In a whisper "Lina is going to teach me how to swim so we can all go on the boat." She is much quieter with him but at least she is talking to him. She starts messing with her hair again as file the forms needed for Elliot to become her new guardian.

"She's talking to you?"

"Yea she told me that I had funny hair and said people were making fun if her hair. So I told her that next time some one makes fun of her to tell me and Ill fucking knock them out. What kind of parent teachers their kids to make fun of some one. Because their hair. They're probably fucking assholes. Seriously what son of bitch teaches them that?!" He's almost shouting and I start to chuckle.

" I don't know but it's probably some one who curses a lot don't you think?"I look at him and smile innocently I don't think he realizes that Isabelle has stared at him the whole time during his outburst and has her mouth wide open.

"Sorry it's a habit. But there's nothing wrong with curly hair. It's cute on her I guess. It's nice right?!" "It beautiful she's a very pretty girl Elliot." I tell him as I roll my eyes. And she is very pretty but it's his over protectiveness that's so endearing. He's going to be great with her.

"So you just need to sign a form that is in my car and that should be all. I'll have that paper work to a judge and she will be in your custody. Is that okay?" I look at him and give him a loom this is really his last chance to back out.

"Fuck. That's fine." He all of a sudden gets quiet. I turn my body toward him and see that he is covering his face. I grab his wrist and pull them down so that he can look at me.

"You're going to be great with her she's isn't giving you a hard time know and you have experience... You know what it's like to have to go live with strangers. You care about her and that means a lot to a kid. Isabelle has you and I know you think that you will be a horrible parental figure you won't be because not very many kids have some one who in four hours will stop their life just to help them. And you are a good man Elliot Grey and she needs something good in her life and you are something good." A very good attractive, tall, hot... Focus Lina! "I'm sorry about you girlfriend though I'm sure it will work itself out."

"It won't with her she never wanted kids and I did I was just thinking that maybe she would but it's how she acted with me today about my adoption. How can I be with someone so inconsiderate like that. And I wanted a family. We have been engaged for two months and we just... We want different things and that's okay. Having kids wasn't negotiable for me. But anyways what do I need? To buy for her? Like clothes and shit like that does she have anything? I don't want to buy her any of that crap not that I can't afford it or anything I just don't know what kind of crap a girl needs."

"She needs clothes. She had some at her house but they were pretty bad most had holes or were dirty I was going to pack her a bag but since the body was in her room I couldn't take any of it and most of it smelled like alcohol. Why don't we make a list of things?" For the next hour while Isabelle slept and Elliot and I made a list. The more we talked the closer together we sat and we some how ended up on the couch with my right side touching his left. He was warm and it was hard to write since he wrote with his left and me with my right. So we kept elbowing each other. At one point he started doing it on purpose but I didn't mind it was nice to just act that way with someone again. And Elliot was nice and warm. And he had what is possibly the best smile I have ever seen. We came up with a list of about fifty items. And some how I ended up agreeing to accompany him on his little adventure.

Around seven I woke up in the couch with Elliot's head on my lap. I tried I really did but I couldn't help my self as I ran my hand through his hair. I didn't that for a few minutes and closed my eyes again. I thought about how i t would feel if he ran his hands through my hair. His hands on my neck, my shoulders, over my breast and then... And then two men walked into the room.

"Who the fuck are you?" He shouted at me and I kept still I couldn't really move because Elliot is asleep and probably would be for a while since he hasn't slept all night.

"I'm Carolina Reid. I'm sorry I would get up but he hasn't slept all night and please don't shout Isabelle has had a rough night. Who are you? Both of you."

He looked at me then Elliot and last Isabelle who was now asleep on her side sucking her thumb.

"Christian Grey". So this is christian he's hot. Not as hot as Elliot but still pretty close he had an intimidating factor that was really kind of a turn of for me but I can see the appeal.

"Jason Taylor head of Mr. Grey's security." Oh he was the muscle he want to bad either kind of had that George Clooney thing going where he's older but he had muscles you could easily see them even through this suit jacket on.

"Which Grey? I'm the social worker for miss Anderson. What are you doing here?"

"He's my security my brother sent me a message last night. He said he has a problem and to come here. What's the problem?" His tone commanded authority. Jason walked out of the room and was now standing out side with another man who was also in a suit.

"You have to ask him I cant say anything to you about the case unless I'm told by Elliot and he hasn't said anything." Before I know it Christian is at Elliot and shakes him. And it's not a gentle shove. He literally grabs his arm and moves him. Elliot quickly shoots up and before I know the back of his heat hits my face and my eyes start to water because if the pain in my nose. I don't think it's broken but it still hurt. I get up and go to the attached bathroom and Elliot follows me.

"Shit. I'm sorry. I didn't mean for that to happen let me see." Before I know it he turn me toward him and looks at my nose but all I can think about are his hands which are now on my hips. He feels so strong and so gentle he is staring right at my face and his forehead is scrunched up one of his hand comes up to my cheek and tilts my head up. My mouth opens my breathing becomes more shallow. Now I'm looking at his eyes which are beautiful. And they are looking at mine and I can smell his breath and it's morning breath which is usually not that good but with him it's a bit erotic his hand goes back to my waist and he lifts me onto the counter and he steps between my legs. This shouldn't make me all hot and bothered but this man is doing things to me to my body and I have no control. I don't want control with him. I just want him. For him to kiss me and touch, lick, to taste me.

"It's not broken it's just bleeding a bit. Let me get you something." He grabs some tissues and hands then to me as my nose bleeds. I try to put my head down but his hand encircles my neck. His thumb is under my chin and his other fingers are on the right side if my neck. Oh my.

Suddenly there is screaming in the room and our moment is over. We get back and see that Isabelle is moving and curled up on the bed still asleep. He fingers are in her head and she I'd pulling out her hair she is screaming and crying. Elliot, Christian,and Taylor all step forward as of to wake her up but I tell them to stop.

"Don't touch her she doesn't like being touch only her hands." I get closer to her and I grab her hands and try to talk to her. "Wake up it's just a dream. Isabelle. Izzy wake up it's not real." I move he hands for her head. Elliot takes a step closer and she wakes up and starts sobbing int her pillow. I sit on the bed and touch her head and start to play with her hair. Earlier when I rubber her back she got scared and almost jumped off the bed but I think she trusts me with touching just her head. Elliot sits on the other side and starts rubbing her head.

"Elliot? Christian? What are you doing here?" Grace walked into the room. She looks at the scene in front of her and then looks right at me. "Where is the family? I thought they'd be here by now. I didn't know you were familiar with my sons."

Elliot speaks,"mom..."


	5. Chapter 5

"What are you doing here?" Asks Grace as she comes in and closes the door. She walks toward Isabelle and starts checking her over. Elliot looks at me and looks at me as if to say something. I should say something but I don't know what. But being professional about the situation is probably the best way to go.

"Mr. Elliot Grey is the relative of Stephanie Anderson. He's going to be her new legal guardian. Will she be discharged soon?" I look at Grace and Christian's faces and she them starting at Elliot. Grace looks at her son then walks out automatically both her sons follow her out as if she has said something. It really funny to see two grown men so afraid of their mom. But it does give me a few minutes to talk to Isabelle. I close the door behind me and sit in the chair next to her bed during grace's presence she has not said anything.

"Good morning Isabelle."

"Good morning... You can call me Izzy. My friend calls me Izzy because she's nice to me. And your nice too."

"Ok well, do you want to tell me what your dream was about. If you talk maybe you won't be scared so much. I know that dreams can be scary sometimes." She shakes her head. "Well you're probably going home today" I try to change the subject so that she continues talking. If I keep pushing something on her that she doesn't want to talk about she'll shut down and not say anything at all. "To Elliot's house remember we told you yesterday?"

She looks out the window and sees Elliot talking to his mom and brother. I look out the window and through the blinds I can see that they are arguing well christian is argue ing with Elliot and Grace is trying to comfort Elliot.

"I remember."

"Are you hungry? We can get you some food if you are." She looks at me and nods. As I get up I notice Grace and Elliot are back in the room. "The nurses will bring her breakfast in a few minutes." She sighs and leaves the room and it's the three of us alone again.

"Is everything okay?" I ask him. "Yeah I just had to talk to my mom and brother but everything is fine. Is there anything I need to take her home?" Christian and Jason walk back into the room.

"She'll need a car seat, she's too small to not have one. I did manage to find an outfit for her to go home in when I went to her house yesterday. Also you should know how she eats." I tell him quietly.

"Does she not eat?" Christian asks me with a concerned look.

"What? No she eats but she kind of... She ... I think she thinks we are going to take away her food or something. When she was eating yesterday. She didn't really chew or use any utensils, she was just putting the food in her mouth as soon as possible. I asked her why and she told me that she was only allowed to eat for two minutes. And if she didn't finish in two minutes that Rick would not let her eat the rest of the day. I don't know if she will do it again today since he isn't here but you never really know with kids."

Just when I finished a new nurse walks into the room and introduces herself as Mary and brings in the new tray of food as she sets up the tray the three of us are silent just waiting to see what she will do. But she doesn't really do anything so after a minute or so I step forward and tell her that the food is hers and she can eat it. All of it. But again she starts throwing it into her mouth. I turn and look at Christian and he look afraid of her for some reason. Like he's afraid of her. Elliot just looks confused. I take another step forward.

"You don't have to eat fast. We are not going to take it away. " She looks at me. "I promise." She starts eating slowly and I hand her the spoon next to her plate she takes it and starts to eat and chew.

After she was done eating Grace came back in the room and tells Elliot, Christian and I to get something to eat. After getting our food and settling on a table in the corner of the cafeteria, Christian got up to take a phone call.

"Christian is going to take car of the seat. His security should have it in my car by the time we leave in an hour. That's how long my mom thinks it will take for the discharge papers."

"You'll be fine. And if you need help with her you can call me and I'll help you." "Have you talked to Katherine yet?" Asked christian as he sat back in his chair. I move my hand off of Elliot's hand. Is isn't even realize that I had don't that.

"Yes."

"And she's okay with this. I thought she didn't want kids. You can't just throw this on her and-"

"She should have her things packed by the end of today." Elliot says as he gets up and walks away. Christian looks at me and I shrug. What should I say? I can't really say that I heard them talking or shouting really that's inappropriate. Every thing about today has been inappropriate. I get up and walk towards Elliot but he turns down a different hallway and I keep walking to Izzy's room.

When I walk in I notice that she is sitting on the side of the bed and has changed into regular clothes. She has some jeans and a red long sleeve shirt and some converse. Her hair is still a mess but it's nice it gives her character.

"I'm ready to go." She tells me jumping off the bed. She looks much more energetic this morning. And she doesn't look as pale as yesterday. She is still too skinny for her age but that won't change over night.

I smile at her "Good. Elliot should be here soon and then you can go and I'll see you Friday which is tomorrow so that you can get some clothes. Okay?"

She looks at me and nods. Elliot walks back into the room as Izzy and I are talking with a few papers in his hand. I look at the papers and raise one of my eye brows. "They are her discharge papers and some information on PTSD. The mom thinks she may have it. Especially since her life is about to change." I nod.

"Well I'm going to bring the car around can you walk her to the front so she won't have to walk all the way to the parking lot?"

"Of course. We'll be right there. Is there anything else you need." I ask concerned. He is how he was last night joking and somewhat happy. He's stressed again.

"You phone number." He says. "For help and for Friday. You can still come right? What is she going to sleep in she doesn't really have anything. Do you want me to pick you up? Or we can meet wherever? But we need more than one store so it wouldn't make sense. What do you think?" Oh good this is just for work I don't think I'm ready for that. That whole dating thing. Not that he would date me but it really doesn't matter. And it's Not like he's asking me on a date.

"Here's my number and just call if you need anything. We'll see you down in a bit. I can get her some pajamas for tonight and something to wear for tomorrow. I'll have to guess her sizes though. And I'll just meet you there."

"Okay. I'll just... Go down and get the car." With that he walks down and Isabelle giggles.

"I think he likes you Lina." She says to me.

"I like him too." I tell her with out thinking and I do he's nice I guess. "Let's go." I grab her hand and we make our way to the front and sit on a bench in the front and I see him pull upon a truck a very man type truck. I see him struggling trying to fasten her seat belt so I tell him to let me do it. I had a big family and having lots of nephews gave me experience with this kind of thing. He runs his fingers through his hair.

"So I'll see you tomorrow and I just texted you so you have my phone number too." He puts his hand out and I shake it and look at him. I let go and he gets in his car and drives away.


	6. Chapter 6

**So thank you for reading this. I'm trying to update as much as I can this weekend because I have too much work doing the week. **

**I do not own Fifty Shades or any of these characters. All rights go to EL James. **

* * *

After going to the office for the day I was really looking forward to going home and sleeping. But of course I couldn't do that since I promised that I would get clothes for Isabelle. So I made my way to the mall and bought her the most simple outfit for tomorrow and a pajama set. I called Elliot and he told me his address so now I am on my way to his house.

His house was a beautiful two story house with a large yard but looking at it, it was very modern and a wall of the house completely in glass. It was a typical bachelor pad. I also noticed another car in the drive way. It wasn't a huge house but still bigger than average. He came and opened the door and I handed him the bags.

"This is for tomorrow. And tonight. She changed alone in the hospital so she should know what to do just make sure she showers. I know she hasn't showered in a while. Just have the temperature warm and she should be fine. And call me if you need anything." I wasn't really in the mood to talk to him right now I was tired and it was already 7pm I haven't had a good night sleep since the day before yesterday.

"Oh ok... Thank you. You don't want to come in for coffee or something I'm sure she would like to see you she was telling me how you were funny and that I should like you because your nice." Elliot told me as he took the back he seemed kind of surprised that I wasn't more willing to just stay and be with him.

"I'm sorry I don't mean to be rude I just haven't been home besides this morning to change and I'm tired but I'll see you both tomorrow at noon right?" "Yeah I'll walk you to your car."

He walked me to my car and opened the door for me. As I put on my seat belt and turned on my car the radio turned on to my favorite country station. He chucked. "I'll see you tomorrow Carolina." He closed my door and stepped back and I drove home. Finally.

* * *

The next morning as I waited in the small restaurant waiting for Elliot and Isabelle I started thinking about the fact that I was excited to see them. I shouldn't have been so excited but it was only one day and he was not my client, she was. There is nothing inappropriate about him and me. And i had every right to date if I want to. Damien and I weren't together. I could be happy without him.

"_Okay so I know your mad at me but I have had this planned for a long time so you're just gonna shut up and go with me okay I love you even when your mad and I didn't mean what I said. You don't look fat, you're pregnant it's fine to look fat." I looked at Damien in horror. Ass, that's what he is. I walk away to our bedroom in our new house and lock my self in the bathroom. I know he is right. I am pregnant but I'm sure he doesn't have to say the word fat. And I'm pregnant he should know I'm emotional. _

_"Carol. Come on babe we have to go. Honey I love you." Because him saying that will make everything okay. "Come on it's our anniversary. Open the door or I'm getting the key." Shit I forgot about our key to the bathroom. Right now I'm really regretting having one made. _

_He gets the key and unlocks the door. He sits next to me with out saying anything. We always do this. We fight I come to the bedroom and cry and he walks in and sits next to me until one of us breaks the silence. I know this fight will be over soon because it is our anniversary and I want to be with him but when your husband calls you fat it sucks. He knows that I hate when people comment on my weight especially now that I have no control over it. _

_At five months pregnant I'm a bit insecure about myself. My clothes are not fitting and I don't want new ones because that's admitting that I am fat. _

_Damien grabs my hand and kisses my palm. He grabs my chin with his other hand and turns me toward him and kisses my forehead and his lips stay there. I sigh and bring my leg over him so that I am straddling him. I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face in his neck and his arms encircle me. I love this. Being with him. I don't need some fancy restaurant I just need him my husband. My love. The father of my unborn child. _

_"I love you and your pregnant honey not fat. I'll always love you you know that I know sometimes I have to remind you and I don't mind doing that for you but you have to know that there is nothing about you I don't love. I would love you even if you're fat."_

_He says as he looks into my eyes he had brown eyes like me. Not as light colored as mine but they were still beautiful. They were more of a chocolate color. I nod my head and I kiss him. He tastes delicious as always. I open my mouth and his tongue immediately reaches out for mine. I tilt my head to the side and give him more access to my mouth and moan so that he knows that he has access to me. All of me. Not that he needs some signal he owns me completely. _

_"Let's go" He grabs my hand and we get out of the bathroom toward the car to my surprise. _

_I hate surprises and he knows that. But his surprise wasn't bad he took me to the lake when he had first kissed me and he gave me a locket that was empty. "For when we have our baby you can put a picture of him or her inside." I love it. I love him. Or I did._

"Lina... Lina? Carolina?" I shake my head and realize that I'm not at the lake any more. That Damien isn't here with me. Not anymore. Instead I have Elliot and Izzy here now.

"hey sorry I spaced out how long have you been standing there?" I stand up and hug izzy and she hugs me back. I'm glad to be here with her she seems better not as reserved as she did a few days again and that surprises me I wonder what Elliot has said to her.

"No it's fine I hope you weren't waiting long. I couldn't get the seat belt thing again. And she kept laughing at me and I got distracted." The waitress came and took our order. We ordered three sandwiches and some spinach dip.

" Elliot has a really big house and my room is so big and I was rolling on the bed and I didn't fall because it was so big except when I did fall but not really cuz he catches me and I didn't fall and I like my new pjs they are pink and so pretty..." After a while I couldn't even keep up with her. When I looked at Elliot I noticed he was watching us. He was smiling at least until he saw someone behind me.

When I turned around I saw Katherine. She walked up to our table and handed Elliot a key and he stood up and took it and she walked away.

"So it's really over with you two?" I asked when Izzy was too busy eating to talk. She wasn't eating like at the hospital she still had to use her fingers but that was because of the food choice.

"Yeah she came over and we talked."

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to pry you just seem like you might need to let off steam or something." I told him looking at my food so that he wouldn't see me blush.

"No it's fine she came and asked me if I really was going to take care or her. She said that if this was temporary she would wait it out."

What does that mean. "Wait it out?" I took another bite of my food.

"She said something about how she would still be there waiting for me or somewhat like that. "

"Waiting for you to what? To not have Isabelle anymore?" She looked up at us when I said her name. But she wasn't listening she was too focused on eating her sand which without having it fall apart but it was far too late for that now.

"Yup." He talked so casually about it. Maybe he didn't know how serious the issue was I mean he has her is in his custody she is his child in a way.

"What did you say to her?" I drank some soda while he finished chewing.

He looks at Isabelle and she looked at him."I don't know. What did we say to that mean lady yesterday Izzy."

With food in her mouth she said "I said the door is to the left. And then she got mad and left. Right Lelliot?" She looked at him with the biggest grin on her face it was the most genuine smile I have seen on her. She looked very proud of herself.

"Damn right we kicked her to the curb." And then they did some sort of first bump which caused me to laugh more loud than was appropriate upon the restaurant. So now we had a bit of an audience.

And with that the conversation, much like his relationship had ended. They started telling me all about their adventures from yesterday at his house. From hide and seek where he took half an hour to find her, she was in the kitchen pantry. To them building a fort in his living room. Apparently they didn't clean it up and they decided to just stay inside there and sleep until she got up and went to the couch. They also tried to make dinner together but that didn't work since he didn't even know how to turn on the oven. But I guess that's what happens when you move into a house with a bachelor.

When we finished our meal and the ice cream we order we got into our cars and drove to the mall so that Elliot could buy her some clothes. Our first stop was gap kids since we didn't really know what to get her. And after four hours and six other stores we, Elliot and I, had had enough. She was pretty much guaranteed to have an outfit every day for the next two months. I have always hated shopping but being with them made it less boring especially since Elliot kept trying to walk to buy her everything he saw. "But maybe she will need it one day" was his respond to most clothes that I would say were not her size. I really had to lay it on him when he tried to buy some shirt with the size of 24 months. We also had to get new uniform pants and sweaters. He apparently decided that he would keep her in Seattle academy so that not everything in her life would change plus it was the nearest private school to his job so it would be convenient for him.

We went to dinner at a small Greek restaurant as a break because we still had to buy her other things. After being seated in a booth Isabelle who was sitting next to me fell asleep. I put my arm over her shoulder and she layer down in the seat. I didn't want to wake her she really didn't look very tired but up until we sat down.

"Do you want me to take her I don't want you to be uncomfortable?" He looked at me as he got up and came toward my side of the booth but I shook my head.

"No it's fine I'm not uncomfortable. She's precious. Your really good with her. I told you you'd be fine." I told him as I stroked her hair.

"Yeah she's easy to be with. She didn't have any night mares last night." We ordered our food and something small for Izzy in case she woke up.

"Why did you want to come here?"

"I've always wanted to go to Greece. I was gong to go a few summers ago but something came up." I looked around and hopped he wouldn't ask any questions. Thankfully he didn't.

"What part of Greece?"

"Santorini. It's an island there it's beautiful." He suddenly got his phone and started to type something.

"It is nice. We should go sometime. The three of us." He said as he showed me his phone. He was looking at pictured of the island. I grabbed his phone and showed him the room that I was going to stay at. We talked about what I had originally planned for my trip.

After we ate, Izzy included we made our way to the target to buy Izzy the essentials. We also stopped by a furniture store and order her a few new pieces so that she would not have to use guest room furniture. It was really quite a lot of money he spent on her but he had said that he was happy to. And since not all of the things fit into his car I agreed to take some on my car.

We got to his house and we unloaded the furniture, well he unloaded I decided to supervise. But I did help him take her clothes upstairs. She had picked out a guest room to claim as her room but she couldn't sleep there until the room was painted. So we could even put anything away. And she fell asleep in the first bed she could find. I walked back down stairs with Elliot.

"Would you like to stay and watch a movie or something?" He asked me as we stepped into the living room. I have to say no. It's inappropriate being with him like this. So comfortable and happy. It's my job. I could get fired if I cross the line and today I have being flirting with the line. He runs his hand through his hair and leans back on a wall waiting for my answer. Fuck I don't want to leave but I need to.

"Sure." Forget the line.


	7. Chapter 7

**I do not own Fifty Shades. All rights go to EL James. Thanks for reading. **

* * *

"Sure." Forget the line.

He walked into his kitchen and I followed him not really sure what to do.

"Do you want some wine?"

"No. I don't really drink wine."

"Beer?"

"Sure." He asked as he grabbed one for himself and handed me one.

"What movie do you want to watch?" He asked me as I sat down in his couch."Or we can watch the news? If your into that pick whatever I don't care."

"If you don't want to watch anything I can go. I don't want you to have to entertain me as some sort of pay back for today I was happy to help." I suddenly felt bad, he probably only asked me to stay to be polite and now I ruined his night. I knew I was tired, but I liked being with him.

"To be honest I just wanted you to stay I enjoy your company. And I figured a movie was long enough so that I could hang out with you more." He sat in to floor in front of the tv facing me.

"Well if that's the case you could have just said so. Just put the news on." He did.

"What did you want to talk about?"

"You." He smiled at me but I think he said that so that he could get a reaction out of me. I took of my flats and shifted so that I was facing him and my legs were on the couch. The couch was pretty comfortable but it was leather, which bothered me because if I moved it would make a lot of noise. I smiled back at him and took a sip of my beer.

"What about me?" I raised an eyebrow at him. He asked me the basic questions. What's my favorite color? Where am I from? Favorite food? They were all important facts about me that he needed to know. And he told me about himself. He has a brother and a sister, both younger. He wasn't close with his brother until recently when Christian met Ana. He went fishing with his dad and brother but only to spend time with them he wasn't really into fishing. He usually spent Saturdays with some old friends from when he was in school.

"I should call and cancel now. I don't think that they would be too happy with me taking a five-year old."

"What they don't like kids?" He was right though everything about his life was going to change but I wasn't about to be the one to burst his bubble. I think he can figure that out on his own.

"They do. They have kids of their own but Saturday mornings was their time off. You know from work and kids."

"And what are you the only one with out kids?" I joke.

"Pretty much." He admits.

"Do you want kids? Or are you doing this because you have to?" He looks away at the tv for a while.

"I do want kids. I guess that's why I rushed so much with Kate. I thought that she would change her mind if I asked her to marry me. I have really only known her for a few months."

"Didn't you love her though? There has to be a bigger reason you asked her to marry you. She can't be all bad. "

"Well there's that and the sex." He really couldn't be too serious but that was good he didn't talk bad about her. He got up and walked out of the living room. It gave me a moment to think again about how wrong this was just being here. I knew that on Monday I would have to drop Isabelle as a client I am too involved. In school we were trained early on to have no relationship with our client. And I have to say that being in a client's parent's house after 11 pm is not professional. Of course I could keep it a secret and not say anything but I just wasn't willing to risk my job over this. And it was going to be more than one day I could tell. It was a bad idea and it would end badly for me and for the little girl sleeping upstairs but there was nothing I could do to stop it at this point. Not that I wanted to.

When Elliot walked back he handed me another beer. I hadn't even realized that I finished the first one. I took it but I don't think it's a good idea to drink it because I still have to drive home and I'm not about to get in a car when I can't function properly. So instead I got up and placed it in the end table.

"You're leaving?" He asked standing up. And walking towards me.

"Well I was just putting this down I still have to drive home and if I keep drinking I won't function properly. So no more alcohol."I explained taking one step forward. For the next two hours we watched some old reruns of Friends. He told me about his college life and I told him mine. I told him about how I was born in Brooks, Tennessee. My father was the principal of the elementary school. And my mom was a nurse at a hospital one hour away. Our town was too small to have a hospital. I grew up on the same street, in the same house until college. My three best friends and I all got accepted into the same school so I shared a dorm room with my best friend Andy. And my other two friends, Allie and Karen shared another dorm in the same hall. Our junior year we moved into an apartment together. We grew up together and we would often be enrolled in the same classes and activities. Karen and I had vocal lessons. And all four of us had guitar lessons. And Allie and I went to gymnastics. We were completely inseparable until our senior year of college.

"What happened senior year?" He asked muting the tv. It wasn't very loud so now the house was completely silent.

"Karen met someone. And don't get me wrong I was happy for her but it changed things between all of us. Well really she met Ben during her sophomore year but they weren't really serious. Well I didn't think they were. And after two years of dating he proposed. They got married that winter and she moved out. We still talk and we are all good friends but our friendship came second, her husband came first. And then Andy started dating Mark they moved in together after two weeks which I thought was crazy but they loved each other and got married the day after graduation. And the same thing happened with Allie and me."

"So you're married?" He moved back and looked at me. I still don't know how to answer this.

"No." He seemed to relax.

"So you just dated some guy."

"Yes." Liar. I looked away. He wasn't just some guy. Damien was my husband but he didn't need to know. Damien is in the past.

"Good." He said taking a drink and smiling at me. After a while I went home. There were no plans of seeing him again. No "ill call you tomorrow". I just left and he didn't call.

The following Monday I went to work and asked my supervisor to take me off the case. The case was given to another worker of mine. She would talk with Elliot and Isabelle about how she is adjusting to her new home. I kind of felt bad about not calling him and explaining why I dropped it but I really didn't know what to say without lying. Sure I could call and tell him the truth but what is the truth. "Oh sorry I can't be your case worker because every time I see you all I can't think about is how I want you to fuck me senseless. And I'd love to fuck you but then I'd get fired." No definitely can't tell him the truth. But it was really hard to not call him and just come up with some excuse about how I miss Isabelle, which is true but I didn't want to seem so pathetic so I didn't call. But he did.

A week after the shopping trip on Sunday night he called me freaking out . "I don't know what to do she locked herself in the fucking bathroom and I can't walk in their I don't want her to feel violated but... Shit. She got so mad and started crying so I yelled at her but I didn't mean to and she started screaming about some shit how I don't have to hit her. I didn't even-"

"Ok Elliot I have no idea what is going on you need to calm down and explain or I can't help you." He sounded hysterical but nothing made sense.

"Can you just come over I really need you?" I didn't say anything for a few seconds. "Please?"

"I'll be right there." I hung up and rushed to his house. It was not until I was out side his gate that I realized I still hadn't changed from my lazy Sunday outfit. I had on some shorts and a very long T-shirt over my sports bra. After being buzzed in Elliot came to the front door and lead me inside.

"Ok I we went to my parents house and everything was fine she was shy with them but that was because it was the first time she met them as my parents. Anyways when we got home I told her that she had to go to sleep because she was going to school tomorrow and she went crazy." He told me running his fingers through his hair.

"What do you mean crazy? What did she do?" I asked him as I grabbed his hand and made him sit down on the couch.

"She was saying something about how she didn't want to because then I wouldn't pick her up and some woman in the office would yell at her. So I said that I would pick her up but she kept saying no over and over again. And then she started screaming and she got into the kitchen and I told her to calm down and I was going to hug her but she started screaming saying please don't hit me. That she'll be good and she won't tell anyone I was being mean." He stopped and sighed. Just when I was going to say something he talked. "I got closer but she got a glass that was on the counter and threw it at me. I got pissed so I yelled at her and she ran off to her room when I went up everything was on the floor and she's locked in her bathroom now and doesn't want to come out. I didn't know what to do and I thought you could... Maybe... I don't know really. You said if I need help to call you so I did." I stayed quiet while he explained things.

When he finished I noticed that he looked very upset. But not at what happened he felt like he wasn't good enough to care for her like he had somehow failed. But he hadn't, there is nothing that would have made the situation any easier or some right way to deal with this. I decided to deal with this issue first. I went to his kitchen and got him a beer do he could calm down.

"Here I'll try to talk to her but you need to stay calm. I'll be right back." I left him and went into Isabelle's room. He wasn't lying when he said that she had thrown everything. Her clothes were on the floor. All her toys were scattered on the floor, her lamp was broken. She must have pulled it out and it was now on the floor, lightbulb shattered. She even threw all of her blankets and pillows on the floor. I went towards her bathroom and I was going to knock but decided not to. I turned the knob and surprisingly it was not locked. She was sitting inside her bathtub.

"Isabelle." She looked up and ran toward me and threw her arms around my neck and started sobbing. I picked her up and walked towards the bed and sat down with her. "It's okay. Everything is okay. I'll take care of you." After she stopped crying she told me what was wrong.

"He is going to leave me there and I don't want to leave him. He's nice to me. Like a daddy and I never have a daddy."abandonment issues. A lot of kids have them. They usually feel alone and neglected. She has been alone and neglected by her only parent. She also hasn't had a father figure, until now.

"Why don't we go talk to Elliot so you can tell him why you are scared if you don't tell him he can't help you. And he wants to take care of you. Okay?" She nods and we walk back downstairs where Elliot is still sitting on the couch. The beer is half empty and there is an empty glass sitting on the table. He looks up and I notice his eyes were red and he had probably been pulling at his hair since it is going in every direction.

"She needs to talk to you." I sit down next to him. With Isabelle on my lap and he moves closer to us.

"I don't want to go to school." She said as she rubbed her eyes and continued to cry. Since he didn't really know how to respond I decided that I should ask her questions so that he would know what she was thinking.

"Why don't you want to go to school."

"Your going to leave me there and not pick me up." She suddenly started sobbing again and put her arms around my shoulders. I saw Elliot slump forward and look at us. He opened his mouth to say something but then closed it again. Instead of saying something he reached forward and took her from me. He held her and rubbed her back. That's the first time she has let some one touch her back. Instead of moving away, it comforted her and it made Elliot feel like she was trusting him.

"I'm not going to leave you. I'll pick you up I promise. I won't leave you, ever. I love you Isabelle. I'll take care of you." He pulled her head back and kisses her forehead and she nodded. She continued to cry and at some point I thought that I should leave them alone so I did.

I went upstairs to her room to start cleaning up her things. I made her bed and folded her clothes. I couldn't put them away since I didn't know where they belong so I left them on her bedside table. I picked her lamp off of the floor and started picking the broken glass out of the carpet. In the pile of clothes I found I found a long night-shirt for her that I thought she may need for tonight. I also picked out some clothes for school tomorrow. I put them aside for Elliot to easily find. I thought that they were a bit wrinkled but asking him for an iron seemed like too much so I didn't.

When I was done I made my way down stairs to find him holding her still but she was asleep. He looked at me and got up. I followed him to her bedroom. He was surprised to see the mess was no longer there. We tried to wake her up but we couldn't so I helped him get her in the clothes that I had picked out. After he had tucked her in he kissed her forehead,turned on a night-light and we walked out of the room. He must have gone somewhere else because when I got to the living room I noticed he wasn't behind me. I picked up the empty bottle and took in to the kitchen.

"Thank you." He said, making me jump. I hadn't heard him behind me. Which made him chuckle. "Sorry. Thanks for coming I didn't know what to do. I didn't know she felt that way. This is new to me, taking care of someone."

"It's okay I'm glad to help. I told you if you needed anything that you could call. If I didn't want to help I wouldn't have come. And it's new to her too you know."

"What taking care of some one." He laughed but it wasn't an honest laugh. It was more like it was something that was suppose to be funny but in the moment it didn't seem right. He really didn't understand how much he was doing here.

"No. Having some one care for her. Do you remember your parents... Your biological parents?" He looked at me and was sad.

"No." He said and turned and leaned on the counter.

"Well I see a lot of kids and when they get adopted by good people they think it's so rare to be taken care of. And it is not all parents care for their kids. But what they don't know is that parents are suppose to love their kids. It shouldn't be a one in a million thing. Unfortunately it is but... Being loved shouldn't be strange. Does that make sense?" He nodded. "It's also okay to love her. Just because she isn't you child and you just met her doesn't mean your limited to how much you care about her." He nodded again. He couldn't look at me. All he did was look at the floor and keep his arms and ankles crossed as he leaned back on the counter. I got in front of him with our bodies almost touching. Using both of my hand I reached up and pulled his face up to look at me. "She loves you too." He nodded and his hands reached up to my wrists and pulled them down and wrapped them around his waist with our foreheads and noses touching, which was really quiet an effort considering I was only 5'2" and he was almost six feet tall.

"It's okay to love some one even when you shouldn't." He told me.

* * *

"What time do you work tomorrow?" Elliot asked me as he walked me outside.

"I'm going in at 8 why?"

"Well I have to take Isabelle to school tomorrow but Christian said I should talk to the school about changing all her contact information and her address. Can you come with us? I'll buy you break fast." He said the last past in a singing voice as if that would convince me.

"Well only because I get free breakfast out of it. Don't think I'm doing it because I like you or anything." He laughed. Then turned serious. He stepped closer and I moved back until I hit the wall. He put his hands on either side of my head and lowered his face to mine. But what really made me nervous was the way he looked at me. He looked at my eyes and they started looking down. Down to my nose my lips and they stopped there for a few seconds but then down my body. Then up again. He looked at my eyes and then my lips, I could swear he swallowed. I could feel his body heat or maybe it was my body that was heating up. I wasn't too sure but he wasn't far away. If I could just move a little and our lips could touch then... Then he smiled. That bastard was messing with me. Well I could tease him right back.

"I'm pretty sure you like me miss Reid." He said as he tilted his head and our mouths even closer together.

"I do like you Mr. Grey." I don't know what came over me but before I knew it I reached forward and as if I was going to kiss him I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around his neck. "And I'm pretty sure you like me too." I smiled and my tongue reached out to lick his bottom lip, barely. "I'll come by tomorrow to help you two get ready." I let my arms drop to his chest, pushed him away and started walking out of his house into the rain and then my car.

When I got to my two bedroom apartment I jumped in the shower. But all I could think about was Elliot. As I undressed I could imagine him pulling my shirt over my head. Him hands going over my stomach. Up toward my rib cage, he would get to my sports bra and take that off as well. His hands would go to my breast and then his mouth... his mouth would be biting my neck and my shoulders. Without realizing it I had started to touch my own breasts but I was thinking it was Elliot. I ran my hands over my stomach over my belly button and higher until I was touching my breast. My right hand however moved down as my left hand started pulling on my nipples. My hand ran over my clit moving it left and over and over again. I went into the shower and the warm water covered me and woke me up from my momentary fantasy. I had to stop thinking about him. But at this point it was getting too late. I would either back out now or I would fall in love with this man, if I wasn't already.

Andy, I should call her to tell her what's going on. Looking through my phone I saw that I had two missed calls from her and immediately called her.

"Hey what's going on? Are you okay? Should I go over?" She answered with a sleepy voice and I knew I had woken her up, but she never minded before.

"I ..."

"What's wrong? I'm coming over don't move." I didn't think that was necessary. There was nothing going on I just needed to talk to my friend.

"You don't have to everything is fine. I met some one kinda." There was a pause.

"What!?" I couldn't really tell if she was excited or not but she was definitely surprised. "Okay I'm coming over. Make me some coffee." And with that she hung up. I went to my kitchen to start preparing her coffee. I also took out the Nutella since we always had some.

It didn't take her long to get to my house she only lived 15 minutes away and there was probably no traffic at this time. She walked into my house without knocking as always and sat on the couch. I walking into the living room next to her with my tea and the Nutella.

"Where is your child?" I asked her sitting down.

"Mark is home. Emily is asleep." Emily is their 2 and a half-year old daughter. "Who did you meet?"

"Well I had this case..." After that she gave me a look. She knew that I shouldn't have any relationship with a client. "I met him on a case but he's not the client. I dropped the case the next morning so it's not illegal or anything."

"So what's the problem. You aren't doing anything wrong you know that."

"The problem is that... I don't know what it is but I don't think I should be doing this."

"Doing what? Having feelings for someone? You shouldn't let Damien control you life. I'm sorry it didn't work out the way you wanted it to but sitting around being miserable is going to change things. I want you happy Lina. You deserve to be happy."

"I just don't want it to be like last time."

"It won't be."she assured me

"You don't know that."

"No but you shouldn't be waiting for him to come back."

"I know." I looked at my hands. "I miss him." Before I knew it tears were coming down my face.

"I know you do but..."

"But he's isn't coming back. " I finished her sentence. We sat in silence until he phone started ringing. It was Mark apparently she hadn't told him she was going out and he was worried.

"You didn't tell him?"

"What? I always do this I thought he wouldn't mind. He doesn't even notice anymore." She laughed.

"How is operation baby number two coming along." I asked her. They have tried to get pregnant for the last six months and so far nothing. She always wanted a big family since she was an only child.

"So fun." She looked at me and winked. "Nothing yet but you know Mark, he's not a quitter. Besides it's only been a few months. Karen is almost ready to have her baby in three weeks. She's driving me crazy by the way."

I laughed she was right Karen was driving every one crazy with her constant phone calls. "Did I tell you what happened the other day?" Andy shook her head. "She called me crying completely hysterical she said her and Ben we're getting a divorce and she called a lawyer. So I went to her house at like 3 am and she had a suit case with her totally ready to leave." I kept giggling when I was retelling Andy. "When I got there she didn't even say anything she just got in my car and I brought her to my house."

"So what happened?"

"She said that he wouldn't go get her some food in the night and they got into a huge argument. I don't know but it was funny and I felt bad for him because he didn't know where she was. He probably thought she went into labor. Anyways she's just tired of being pregnant and she is ready to have the baby. I don't know how people do it, carry a baby for nine months. I was driving me and Damien crazy the first trimester."

That was different though. Andy and Karen would have their babies in the end I didn't.

_"Do you need anything?" Damien asked me. I had thrown up everyday for the past week and I passed it off as morning sickness but it was becoming extreme at this point. I couldn't keep anything down and Damien worked 48 hour shifts as a firefighter. When he wasn't working he was taking care of me. I lost about ten pounds so my shoulder bones were becoming to visible. He noticed but he didn't say anything. I was throwing up and he was sitting on the edge of the tub holding my hair with one hand. Rubbing my back with the other. I shook my head. He had to go to work soon so I didn't want to bother him. _

_"I'm going to call in sick." He told me. _

_"What? No, it's fine. I'm fine, just morning sickness as always." I got up to brushed my teeth while he watched me. "I'm fine don't worry too much you'll lose your hair." I kissed him quickly. Honestly I wasn't feeling well but if I could pretend for ten minutes than I would be fine._

_"I worry about you. You look... Thinner." He kept looking up and down my body which made me self-conscious._

_"I'm not." I lied. I know I shouldn't but we both wanted a baby so bad I didn't want him to think this was a bad idea. I distracted him the only was I knew how. I kissed him. Luckily it escalated pretty quickly and before I knew it I was standing naked in front of him. I put my hands on his chest then down until I reached the hem of his shirt and pulled it off him. He placed his hands on my waist then reached back and grabbed my bottom. I groaned into his mouth. I took a step back and then another until we reached the bed. His hands were now at my thighs. He pulled me up and I automatically wrapped my legs around his waist. He took another step forward. We fell on the bed. He could feel how wet I was for him. I wanted to feel him inside me. I needed him. I unlocked my legs from his torso so that I could reach his pants. He started biting my neck, then sucking. He would do this and then move to a different spot. I unbuttoned his pants, pulled down his zipper. He helped me by taking the pants and boxers of in one motion._

_He pulled me into a sitting position, grabbed my ankles and spread my legs. I pulled his neck and kissed him, hard. He pulled away only to make his way down my neck. Then lower to the middle of my breasts. He suck on my nipple. While his hand toyed my clit. He rubbed it harder and harder. "Damien..."_

_"Yeah?" He kept sucking I really could only take so much. I pulled his hair and forced his face up so that he could see me._

_"Fuck me. Now" He smiled and positioned himself at my entrance._

_He kissed me again and when I opened my mouth to him he thrust into me, causing me to make a noise that was somewhere between a moan and a sigh. I loved him inside me he made me feel loved and satisfied. He kept thrusting and I kept moaning. "Yes..." I threw my head back. My hands were now helping me stay seated. I grabbed the sheets as I tried to hold on. Thrust after thrust he was so deep. He rubbed my clit faster as he kept thrusting into me. I was so close. His dick was now pulsing inside me. I clenched my insides and he moved faster. "Damien." I shouted as I came and he came with me. He kept thrusting helping us ride it out._

_"I told you I'd take care of you." He said as we lay on the bed._

_I chuckled. "Yes you did. Not what I had in mind but still that was very helpful. Thanks... Sorry I made you late. "_

_"My pregnant wife needs me and it is my duty to serve her. But now you are served and I have to go honey I'll see you tomorrow." He got up and got dressed. I pulled out my robe and walked him to the door. Sex really did make me feel better._

_"Bye I'll call you soon." He said as he kissed me._

"Bye I'll call you soon." Said Andy.

"What?"

"Bye I'll call you soon." She repeated.

"Okay bye. " And she left.


	8. Chapter 8

**I do not own any thing. It all belongs to EL James. Thanks for reading and following. **

* * *

The hardest part about today was deciding what time to be at Elliot's house. I didn't want to call because I didn't want to bother him. If I get there too early I seem eager and desperate. So I got there about an hour early so that we could have time to talk to the people in the office. I walked to his door and rang the door bell. I few minutes later he opened the door.

"I over slept. Shit she's gonna be late." He told me. He was wearing pajama bottoms and was pulling down his shirt that he had just thrown on.

"It's fine you're not late I'm early so we can go into the office and just I case she freaks out we have time to deal with it."

"Ok well she is still asleep." We made our way to her bedroom. She was still sleeping and he sat on the side of her bed and gently moved her. He started poking her shoulder. I giggled at his failed attempt to wake the five-year old.

"What? I'd like to see you try." He told me and moved back so that I could take his place. He was now sitting behind me.

"Isabelle... Isabelle we have to get up. Let's go eat breakfast." I shook he with a bit more force but she still didn't move. Instead I pulled the blanket and uncovered her feet and started running my fingers on the bottom of her feet. She giggled. I looked at Elliot and he grabbed her ankle and I started tickling her.

"Stop... No more.."she said between fits of laughter.

"Then get up and let's go." That's how my mother used to wake me when I was younger. When I turned ten the tickles stopped being cute and started getting annoying. But right now for Isabelle, they worked. She got up and ran to the bathroom, afraid that we might attack her again.

"Why don't I just make breakfast here? That way we won't be late." I told Elliot as we walked out and let Izzy get dressed.

"Sure. Do you need help?"

"Do you know how to cook?" I asked him.

"No." He said honestly. I smirked at him.

"Then just get ready and I'll take care of the food. I don't mind." I walked past him to the kitchen I ended up making pancakes and scrambled eggs just like my mother taught me when I was younger. She would always tell me that I was only allowed to get married after learning how to cook. I had a crush on some boy at school at the time so I tried to learn so that I could marry him. I was ten at the time.

A short while later Elliot came down, and a few minutes after that Isabelle came down as well. She had on some dark khaki pants and a white button up shirt. She would need a new sweater with the school symbol because her old one was ruined. We ate breakfast with Isabelle telling us about her class and her teacher. She was a really good speller and she always finished her homework at the after school program her school had. She didn't like her teacher too much because she gave "lots of sight words". She had a few friends who would invite her to sleep overs and she wasn't allowed to go by Rick. The best part of breakfast was Elliot's face when she asked him if she could have some friends sleepover at her new house.

"Um... How many friends?" He asked nervously. She then went on to name every single one of her 11 friends and how it would be fun. And they will be good. "I'll think about it." She started screaming about how she was going to tell them today. After that I cleared the table and we left for the school with thirty minutes till she was suppose to go to class.

I hate his car. Well his truck. Because he had to go to work right after he took his truck which was was too high for me or Isabelle to get into. He pulled her into her chair and fastened her seat belt. Then as I was trying to climb on he laughed and grabbed my waist and raised me onto the step on the side. It was pretty embarrassing. Hopefully I wouldn't fall when I had to get out.

The loading zone of the school was completely full so we had to park a street away and walked to the office. I thought that since this was a private school they would be more organized but it might as well be a public school.

When we walked into the office all the women stopped to admire the person who just walked in. There was a young woman in the receptionist's chair who, much like everyone else, was starring at Elliot. He knew they were looking at him. He looked at me and winked. He always did that when he was up to something.

"Hey." He said to the girl. She was still in shock so she didn't respond. "I'm Elliot Grey." He leaned forward a bit. He was teasing her. Usually I would say that it's not polite to make someone nervous, but he seemed so confident and... Hot. I wasn't really paying attention to what they were talking about. But I did notice his arms. He kept flexing his muscles which the receptionist kept looking at. Too bad she wasn't in my place. She could see how he had a great ass.

"Carolina? What are you looking at?" He asked me and I blushed. So embarrassing. I know he knew what I was looking at by the way he looked at me when I walked past him. We were being lead to a private office to talk to one of the counselors. Luckily it was a man so I didn't have to deal with Elliot flirting again, not that I was jealous or anything. I wasn't jealous. He was just talking to her, nothing wrong with that.

"I'm Mr. Barnes I wanted to discuss somethings with you." I looked around for Isabelle but she was nowhere. "Miss Anderson was taken to her class she isn't needed for this discussion. Now Miss Anderson's tuition is being payed for by a certain company. If you want to know then I will have to request the file. Her tuition is paid for six months in advance. That will end in two months. What the mother did was she requested from the company to continue to pay for it for another six months and it was approved. You can continue to do that but I'm not sure who she sent it to. If you want the information you have to request the file." Mr. Barnes handed us a few forms including the tuition forms and a copy of her progress report.

"What do I need to request it?" Elliot asked

"Well you would need to talk to your social worker." Shit I still haven't told him I dropped the case.

"She is my social worker." He pointed at me.

"Oh I thought she was you wife." Mr. Barnes said and I blushed. _I wish. _

"Actually I'm not I dropped the case." I said looking at Mr. Barnes. I could see that Elliot was hurt and confused.

"Okay well I'll have my assistant print out what you need and then you can take it to the worker." He called out to his assistant and asked for the form.

He went on to explain Isabelle's progress report. She was doing really well, she did all her homework and didn't fight. There was one situation when she had an episode and she ran away from the class because the teacher touched her back. It was an innocent touch but it made Isabelle nervous and we understood. She stayed after school and they did homework and played sports. Because of her age she couldn't really understand the rules but they taught her the basics. How to kick, catch and throw a ball. She was very helpful.

"Now I know that in the past there has been problems with her not getting picked up on time but she has to be picked up at five. Who are your emergency contacts?" He looked at Elliot.

"Umm... I put you I hope you don't mind." He looked at me.

"I don't mind." I responded.

"I put my mother and sister-in-law. I also put my sister but she's not as dependable. But you said emergency." He joked but Barnes wasn't entertained.

"Well you have to pick her up at the designated time please make arrangements to do so. Thank you for coming." We got up, shook his hand and walked out to the car.

The walk to the car was silent. A bit awkward too.

"Why did you drop the case?" He asked when we were situated in the car. It was starting to rain.

"Because I'm too attached." I couldn't look at him.

"With Isabelle?" He was looking at me and his hands were white from holding the wheel so tight.

"And you." There I said it. I felt stupid when he didn't say anything. His hold on the wheel did loosen though. He probably didn't feel the same way. Here I am falling for this guy and he is just talking to me because he needs help. There is nothing more. I was just trying to read what wasn't there.

The drive back to his house was quiet. All you could hear was the rain hitting the car and the soft music playing. There was the occasional cursing, by him, when he would get cut off by another driver. I was just going to get in my car, go to work and pretend the last half an hour didn't happen. I kept biting the inside of my cheek to keep me from crying. When we got to his house he went to my side and helped me out. He got his stack of papers and looked at me.

"So I'm going to go pick her up. Do you want to come to dinner?" I nodded my head. I grabbed his papers and got the forms that would need to be taken to his new worker.

"I'll be here at 6." With that I turned to walk to my car.

I never had very good reflexes. So when he grabbed my arm to pull me toward him I was very surprised. But then I felt his lips on mine. They were so soft. While his lips were soft his arms were strong and they wrapped themselves around my waist. One of his arms stayed on the small of my back and the other moved up my back and to the back of my neck. He kissed my lower lips and then started nibbling on it. I had missed this. But this was so different with him. I opened my mouth and he kissed me harder than before.

I should really stop, I have to go to work. He has to go to work. Once I felt his tongue in my mouth that thought was long gone. I had all sorts of fantasies about him. But he tasted delicious. He was sweet and oh so good at this. I'd love to say that our tongues were in some sort of battle for dominance but that just wasn't true. He was winning by a long shot. As I kissed him back his hand moved down to my behind and squeezed. His hands, mouth and tongue made me let out an involuntary moan. But that only caused his grip on my hair and ass to tighten, which only caused me moan again. As hot as this kiss was I was starting to lose oxygen and he was too. So we pulled away. I looked at him and tried to control my breathing. I would normally be embarrassed about having someone knock the wind away from me but when I noticed he was just as effected i smiled.

He pulled me into a hug and kissed my temple. I was the one to break our embrace.

"I'll see you at six." He said as I walked to my car.

"Six." I confirmed and drove away.

Work was the same as any other day. Today I met Rebecca James, a five year old who was admitted into the hospital with a concussion. After talking to her for an hour I left. She told me that she had tripped on a ball and hit her head on the wall. But I knew that wasn't true, her mother also had some bruises on he arms. There was four oval shaped bruises on each arm. Grace looked at me and gave me a knowing look. We tried to get them to talk to us but she wouldn't say anything. In the end they had to leave or else her husband would be upset. They left and all I did was watch them. Luckily Grace agreed to call me if she saw them again.

I sorted some paper work talked with a few kids who had just been moved to a new foster home. Luckily they were put with a young couple who was actually nice and cared for them. They were doing really well.

At five thirty I went home to change clothes. I don't know why I did that. All of my clothes were similar. They were all either black or white. I was pulling up in Elliot's drive way when Isabelle came running out with another little girl following her. I got out of the car and Isabelle ran and gave me a hug.

"Look she's my friend her name is Amy. Elliot said she could come." She had the biggest smile on her face.

"I can see that. How was school?" I asked as she let me go.

"Good. I have to go we are gonna play." She ran away.

"Wait where's Elliot?" I shouted toward her.

"He's in the kitchen making food I'm sooo hungry? Are you eating with me?" She stopped and answered me. I nodded and made my way into the house. When you stepped into the house there was a living room to the right and to the left was another living room except that the one on the left had a fully stocked bar. I went to the right living room and into the kitchen. Elliot was indeed in the kitchen. His boots were covered in mud. He also had mud on his jeans from the knees down. But his shirt was completely clean so he must have changed shirts. He was "cooking". Really he was just taking out plates from his cabinets. I don't think he heard me come in because he didn't say anything. As quietly as I could I pulled my self on the counter. I sat for a few minutes waiting for him to notice but he didn't. He even texted me but because my phone was on silent it didn't make a noise. Just as he was about to call me I spoke.

"So I see you caved." He turned around and smiled at me. And I bit my lip.

"Well you weren't complaining and if I remember correctly I had you moaning in the first kiss. I must be good." He smirked at me as my jaw dropped.

"I... You kissed me." I shot back.

"I'm not denying that. And I don't regret it either. I've been wanting to do it for a while. You just gave me the green light baby so get used to it."

"I meant with Izzy." I changed the subject because I didn't know what to say.

"What about her?" He narrowed his eyes.

"You caved with her having a friend over."

"Oh yeah. You try saying no to her. " he defended himself.

"How did she do it? Did she say pretty please Elliot." I said in a bad imitation of Isabelle's voice with a puppy dog face and my hands together as if I was praying. He chuckled

"No Amy did that and then Isabelle copied." I laughed at him. And for some reason I couldn't stop. But he then joined in.

"How was work?" I asked when i was finally able to breath again.

"Good. Hey wait a minute you changed the subject on me." Damn, I thought it was going to work.

I chuckled and jumped off the counter. I stepped closer to him. My arm were flat on his abs, which were rock hard. Damn. If only he was shirtless right now. And there weren't two five year olds running around waiting for food.

"Your dirty." He raised an eyebrow at me.

"You have no idea how fucking dirty I can get though baby." He whispered in my ear. I could feel a familiar ache in my lower body, but now wasn't the time to think about that. He kissed my neck.

"I..." I was going to give a come back but thought against it. He pulled my earlobe with his teeth and started sucking. "I meant your clothes. Why don't you get changed and I'll serve the food." He kept sucking and I tilted my head to the side to give him better access.

"Ahhh! You can't catch me!" Screamed one of the girls as they got closer and Elliot pulled away.

"This is really good. Did you make it?" I asked when we were sitting in his dinning table. It was far to big for the four of us.

"No I asked Gail to make it." He told me between bites.

"Who's Gail?" I said.

"Don't be jealous Miss Reid. You're too perfect to let go."

"I'm not jealous." I answered back. But inside I was dying a bit. Perfect?

"Isabelle here is a valuable life lesson okay?" The girls stopped to listen to him. "If a person you are dating says she is not jealous, it's be she is jealous. Got it?" They nodded their head. So that's how he wants to play. Teaming up against me.

"And when a man you are dating doesn't answer a questions it's because he's hiding something." I said and stabbed my salad.

"Are you dating?" Amy asked us.

"No." I said bitterly. I wasn't jealous. I just wanted to make conversation.

"You don't have to worry about boyfriends any time soon, you two shouldn't date until you're thirty." He told them. I was still somewhat annoyed but that made me smile.

"My daddy says that too. He promised he would buy me a pink car if I don't date till I'm forty so I'm not gonna kiss any boys. Ever. I even pinky swore " Amy told us proudly. Her poor father was really going to be disappointed.

"Gail is Jason's wife." Elliot said after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

"Who's Jason?" I looked up at him.

"Christian's bodyguard." Oh the muscle I saw at the hospital.

"How did it go with your family when they met Izzy." I have been wanting to know what happened. So I asked him when we clearing the table.

"Better than I thought. My dad and Christian were in shock a bit. Christian ordered a bunch of fucking background checks. And they want to do some DNA testing to make sure we are related." He said to me.

"I'll do the dishes. Background checks on who exactly?"

" I don't fucking know it doesn't even matter anyway he's wasting his time. I think on Isabelle's mom and Isabelle too. He also asked me about the funeral arrangement for Stephanie. I told him I would think about it. He wanted a background check on you just to make sure you were qualified. He said you looked too young to work. How old are you by the way?" He got a canned soda from the fridge and opened it.

"He wants a background check on me? What did I do? 26. Why would he have a background check for a five year old?" I didn't want a background check on me. He would find out the truth and tell Elliot. Elliot would hate me for what happened with Damien, and the baby.

"Relax baby. He does them on everyone it's about protection." He stood behind me and started rubbing my shoulders. I had to relax, enjoy what was happening now I may not have him later. I finished washing the dishes and leaned back on his chest. His hands were now at my hips. They made their way to my stomach. I place my hands over his. He was so big next to me. I liked it though. There was a sense of security with him. I felt like he could protect me from everything. Being in his arms made me happy. It made me feel a bit more complete, not so empty.

"Are you doing the DNA test?"

"No I don't want it. I want to take care of her and what if it comes out negative. I don't want them to take her away. She needs some one. I need someone too. So it's a good fit."

"You had someone." I said with out thinking.

"It wasn't the same and I love Isabelle more than I could have loved Kate." He said.

"What if she had agreed to having kids?" I wanted to know.

"She would have still said that I shouldn't take care of Isabelle and I would have resented her for not letting me take care of her. I know what it's like to need someone. Kate didn't respect the idea of adoption. That was the real deal breaker. She doesn't matter anymore, Carolina. She is in the past." I nodded. I was expecting him to say that he would have stayed with Kate that he loved her but when he didn't I realized that there was more to their break up than what I saw in the hospital conference room.

I turned to face him. Then I walked and sat on the counter again. He followed and stood in front of me. I considered opening my legs so he could stand in between them but I didn't want to be caught in another compromising position with the girls. They had gone up to Isabelle's room to play with some toys before Amy's mom picked her up.

"What about the funeral? Have you given it some thought?" He sighed, ran his fingers through his hair. That was a sign that he was not sure what to do or he was frustrated or angry. There was actually a lot of things it could indicate but it usually wasn't good.

"I don't know yet, should I do one?" I loved that he asked me. I wanted him to know that I was here for him. I felt needed.

"You should, for Isabelle. She should get to say goodbye." I said.

"Okay I'll call Christian. In the morning."

"What about your moms and sister what did they say?" I asked.

"Mia was ecstatic to have a niece. My mom already knew so she kept the peace with me and Ana." That surprised me. He didn't strike me as the kind to be upset with anyone. He was so laid back, so carefree. I gave him a questioning look. "She was glad I was taking care of Isabelle but she went fucking ballistic when she found out about Kate. They are best friends so she really went off on me. She was saying how I was an idiot to let her go. Said I'd make a terrible husband because I didn't want to fight. I just kind of stood there. When she called me a selfish bastard I just snapped."

"What happened?"

"I got in her face said she a fucking gold digger whore that didn't know shit about having a family. It was pretty bad. Christian of course got pissed and told me to shut the fuck up. He pushed me I punched him. Taylor broke up the fight and my mom made us sit in a room and talk it out. I haven't talk to Ana but Christian and I are okay."

"Mmhmm how is that 'better that expected'?"

"No one died and Isabelle didn't freak out. She was outside with Mia when that happened and now they have plans to go shopping next weekend."

I answered the door when Amy's mom came. She was a sweet lady and had other kids, a three year old and a 10 year old. Elliot and I kept talking for a little while but he was starting to mumble answered so I knew it was time to go. I got up to put my jacket on and he watched me.

"Are you cold?" He asked.

"No it's late I have to go. You're tired." I explained.

"Sorry I'm not good company." I chuckled. He was probably the best company I have had in a while. I stood next to him and he pulled my leg so that I could stand next to him. He rested his head on my stomach and I played with his hair.

"Shit I didn't call Mia!" He got up suddenly knocking me over.

"Is everything okay?" I asked.

"Yea I just need Mia to take Isabelle to school in the morning from now on. I usually get to the construction sites at 4 or 5 so I have to find someone take her." He finally found his phone somewhere in between a few couch cushions and started dialing. I stopped him.

"I'll do it. "

"I don't want to abuse you like that." He said pulling back his phone from my hands.

"I want to and it's on my way to work."

"Thanks. Come over for dinner again." He said grabbing my hand and playing with my fingers. "I want to see you again tomorrow."

"Sure. Same time?"

"Yea"

He walked me to my car and opened my door for me. I told him that wasn't necessary since it was raining but he didn't mind. I got in my car and he bucked my seat belt. He kissed me quickly once, twice. The third time lasted a bit longer but we were tired and he was getting wet.

"Laters, baby." He shut the door and stepped back. I was going to drive away immediately but I didn't because he was getting wet and his white shirt was very thin. The water definitely helped my goal but I didn't want him to stand there so I drove away.

Then next few days became a routine. I would take Izzy to school go to work, then have dinner at Elliot's. I went to lunch on Wednesday with my friends. Andy didn't mention anything about Elliot which I was grateful for. I wasn't really sure what was going on with us and until we talked about it, I wouldn't say anything. Dinner had quickly become the best part of my day. Isabelle had become more comfortable with us each day. The more comfortable she was, the more she would talk. She drove us crazy Thursday night when she went on and on about what happened in school. She gave us a run through of her day, not missing the tinniest of details. We didn't mind though. I loved seeing her progress, especially so quickly. Besides he chatty nature she was actually pretty a calm for a five year old. She was very helpful too, when I asked her to pick up her toys she did it with out complaining. She was the perfect child. But I knew better, she went through a lot before Elliot came along. It was only a matter of time until she snapped and her episodes would return. And I was right.

Elliot, Isabelle and I were in Elliot's car on the way to the cemetery. Elliot and Christian had made arrangement to bury Stephanie that Saturday. We had explained to Isabelle that her mom was going to go to heaven and today she would say goodbye. I wasn't really sure who would be there but Elliot assured me that there was not a lot of people. I it would mostly be us. Mia had dropped off a black dress for Isabelle last night after I left their house. It went down to her knees and she had some black tights, with some ballerina flats. She looked beautiful. Elliot wore a black suit.

"What do you know about Stephanie?" I asked Elliot in the car.

"Nothing. Christian did the background check on you three but he only saw yours." He looked at me and smiled. But I froze.

"I haven't seen any of them." He continued. I relaxed a bit. But not much. That meant christian knows. Why hasn't he said anything? "He said that I should see them first."

The burial was simple. We were the last to arrive, so the moment we got there, the priest began. The only people there were Grace, Christian, an older man and two young women. I assumed they were Mia and Ana. I felt odd standing there. Very out of place. I didn't know these people. They were all very attractive. I was short and average looking. I wasn't fat, I ran in the mornings so my legs were well toned. I had decent sized breast but they seemed too large for my small frame. My blond hair was in a bun. Maybe I should have put my hair down so I wouldn't look so boring.

We were standing in a circle around the coffin so no one was looking at each other. I was next to Isabelle and Elliot was on her other side. I heard some one sniffle and looked at Isabelle who now had tears running down her cheeks.

"Elliot." I whispered. He looked at me and I looked down signaling him to look at Isabelle. He opened his mouth to say something but there was nothing to say. Nothing would make this better. I reached down and grabbed her hand. Elliot was still looking at her. I ran my thumb on her hand. She suddenly buried her face into my side and started sobbing. I kneeled in front of her and she hugged me and sobbed harder. "It's okay." I repeated over and over. They lowered the casket and Elliot placed arose on her coffin. And she did the same not letting my hand go. When it was time to go Elliot reached down and picked her up. I didn't realize I was crying until Elliot with one hand wiped my tears away. He kissed my head and we walked to the car behind the other Greys.

"Are you coming to dinner with us?" Elliot asked me in the car.

"Um... I'd rather not." He looked at me.

"Oh. Okay. Should i take you to your house or my house?"

"Well I have a friend who lives a few minutes away from here just take me there and I'll have her take me to get my car later." I left my car at his house earlier so that we could all sit in one car. Isabelle was now asleep in the back seat.

I gave him directions and we were now parked in front of Andy's house. Her car was parked outside so I knew she was home. Not that it mattered I would have just used my key.

"Enjoy the time with your family. Call me if you or Izzy need anything." I said getting out of the car. He quickly grabbed my hand and pulled me to him. I met him half way and kissed him. I thought it would be a quick goodbye kiss, but when his lips parted I had to taste him. I shifted my body toward him and we were in a heavy make out session, in his car, with a child in the back seat. It ended when I pulled away to take a breath.

"Laters baby."I walked away and groaned when I realized my friend was in the window spying.


	9. Chapter 9

**I do not own Fifty Shades. Thanks for reading, following and reviewing.  
And anything that doesn't seem right will be explained in later chapters.**

* * *

"Is that him?" My best friend asked me as I walked inside.

"No that's a different one." I answered sarcastically.

"He's hot." She said.

"Who's hot?" Said mark walking done the stairs with Emily. She squealed when she saw me. I walked up to Mark and took the squirming 2 year-old from him.

"You." Andy said sweetly. I watched them interact with each other. They were truly perfect for each other. He was good for her. I had always admired that about them. He took care of her. He never let anyone talk bad about her but at the same time he pushed her so that she wouldn't be such a push over. Growing up she was the shyest of all my friends. She got picked on most because she would always take it. As soon as she met Mark she didn't have to take people's crap. Mostly it was because mark would threaten anyone who tried to take advantage of her.

"So what are you doing tonight?" They asked me.

"Nothing. Are you going out?"

"well we want to. Want to watch Emily?"

"Yeah that's fine." I loved taking care of Emily. I did it at least once a month. "Are you gonna work on baby number two?" I asked Mark. He was more reserved than everyone else so I liked to joke about their sex life with him.

"Shut up Carolina!" He shouted back ands I laughed. What I thought would be an afternoon with me best friend turned into an evening with Emily. She wasn't a crazy kid and she didn't cry much so it was easy. Andy and Mark left at 5 and Emily usually slept at seven so for the rest of the time I just sat in their house and watched tv.

I checked my phone and Elliot texted me.

_**What are u doing? -E**_

_**Nothing. How's izzy? -Lina**_

_**Mia took her to my parents' house -E**_

_**I'm babysitting wanna help? The baby is sleeping. So I'm not doing anything. -Lina**_

_**Sure. -E**_

I texted him the address and there was a knock half an hour later.

"Hey." He said.

"Hi this is my friend's house but come in she won't mind." He came inside and he started looking at pictures. "How was dinner?" I asked him.

"Not good Isabelle kept crying so Mia and I left."

"Oh did you get to eat?"

"Not really I wasn't hungry." He said.

"I'll make you something." I told him getting up and walking toward the kitchen. He laughed. "What?"

"You. You're always trying to feed me." He was right I never noticed I did that. I was just being polite.

"It's a habit. We always ate a lot back home." I explained.

"When was the last time you went home. " He asked me. I bit my lip.

"Two years. It's been difficult." Luckily he could tell I didn't want to talk about it so he let it go. As he was eating Emily came downstairs and started crying. I got up from the table to carry her. She started whimpering into my shoulder. She probably got scared but she was still tired. I looked at Elliot who was watching us smiling and I smiled back. He finished eating and stood next to me rubbing the toddler's back. I asked if he wanted to carry her just to see his reaction but when he sad yes I was surprised. He took her from me and started rocking her as she fell asleep again. I was glad he said yes because she was getting heavy. We walked into her room and he set her on her bed. I loved how he was with her and Isabelle he was so loving. He was the kind of parent every kid wants. The easily manipulated parent who you can get to say yes to anything. After we watched her sleep for a few minutes he grabbed my hand and lead me downstairs. When we got to the bottom he stopped, turned around, and picked me up bridal style. He sat on the couch with me on this lap.

"You're so beautiful." He told me. I felt beautiful with him. There was so much admiration in his eyes it was hard not to believe everything that he said. I shifted so that I was sitting on one of his thighs and my legs were now in between his.

He kissed me. Unlike our other kisses, this one was slow. He kissed my bottom lip and then my top lip. My lips parted and my tongue reached out to taste his lips. The kissed stayed slow but there was so much passion behind it. His hand was now on my knee but it was slowly making its way up my thigh, up to my hips and he squeezed my hip. As the pace of our kiss quickened, he pulled my body tighter against his. My right hand was on his neck but made its way to his shoulder then to his pectoral muscles. And lower to his abs. His hand was once again on my thigh but now it was under my dress pushing it up my thighs. Since I was still sitting on his lap there was no way it would come off with out me moving. But I needed to tease him more.

He gave up on hitching my dress up and moved his hand to my face. But he knew what he was doing. He moved his hand down to my breast and palmed it through my dress and bra, making me moan. My hands became weak and they landed at the top of his thigh. He kept feeling me and pulled away from my mouth only to bite my ear. "Do you like that baby?" My respond was a moan. "Does that feel good? You want me to stop?" Fuck! No don't stop. "Answer me or I'll stop." He demanded I wanted to answer him but my mind couldn't form any words. He wasn't kidding. He pulled his mouth and took his hands of my breast.

That wouldn't do I was just getting started. Instead I stood up and pulled my dress up to my hips. I pushed him back so his back was resting against the couch. My legs went on either side of him and started kissing him again. After a few seconds I grabbed his hands to place them on my breast. He started massaging them again. But he was so much rougher now. More eager. His tongue invaded my mouth. I pushed his tongue out of my mouth a bit but he just kept trying to dominate our battle so I bit his tongue and sucked on the tip of it. That caused him to groan and his hands gripped my behind. "Touch me Elliot." I whispered as I pulled back and looked into his beautiful eyes. They were so dark now. They were full of lust, just like my own. "Fuck" he said and I smiled. That wasn't a bad idea. I was so wet for him. So ready.

Without an other thought his hand reached under my dress and grabbed my ass with out my dress as a barrier. I placed my hand over his jean covered length and found it very hard. I started rubbing him over him jeans. I was not a patient girl when it came to sex. I had to feel him in any way I could get him. He looked into my eyes and I bit my lip. While he massages my ass and made his way to my inner thighs I unbuttoned his jeans and pulled his zipper down. I hadn't realized before how hard we were breathing. My hand went up his shirt. He had the best abs so perfectly sculpted. I pulled his shirt off without much warning. And kissed his chest. I made my way down and bit his right nipple and he moaned. It was the most erotic sound I have ever heard.

"Well, well, well we leave you alone for a few hours and you bring a boy over." Andy says as she stands on the end of the couch. I hate my clock blocking best friend. But this is her house. Mark walks in "sorry ignore her just pretend we were never here." He says as he picks his wife up and carries her over his shoulder. She squeals and reaches to his back pocket as they make their way out and throws a condom at us. "No glove no love." She's says giggling as they disappear upstairs.

I sat back on Elliot's knees and looked at him biting my lip. He laughed.

"I should get going." He told me. I nodded. I got off his lap and straighten my dress again. I was slightly embarrassed but it was too enjoyable to regret. He stood up put his shirt back on and fixed his pants.

"I'll be right back." I said making my way up the stairs. Andy and Mark were in Emily's room when I walked in. Andy just smirked at me.

"I need you to drive me to get my car. Please." She was going to make another joke but Mark stopped her. We made our way down the stairs where I introduced Elliot and Andy. "Andy is going to drive me to get my car. " I said.

"Why don't I just take you, it's where I'm going anyways." He said.

"I didn't want to be a bother." I responded. He grabbed my hand to pull me toward him.

"You're not." I nodded my head. We made our way out to his car.

The next morning I woke up in a strange room. I was now in an overly long shirt that reached to my mid thigh. I couldn't find my clothes. So I walked out of the room. I realized I was in Elliot's house. I kept walking but I couldn't find him anywhere. I could go home but there was three problems with that. One I didn't want to seem rude. Two I didn't know where my keys were. Three, I just didn't want to. I decided to just make myself some coffee. I don't think he would mind. I just sat there in his kitchen thinking.

_"Okay Mr. and Mrs. Nash are we ready to see the baby?" Said our doctor as she squirted the jelly on my stomach. We were going to find out the sex of the baby today. Damien held my hand. We nodded. Most people had trouble conceiving but Damien and I were lucky, we got pregnant right away. Every one said we were a bit crazy to have a baby so soon after we got married. But being from the south it made sense to have kids young. I was twenty-two and I just graduated college in Seattle. We loved Seattle but we wanted to raise our child in Brooks. It was quiet there, plus we would have the help from my parents. I didn't want a big family maybe just two kids three at the most. Damien grew up with his grandparents and we were to move to Tennessee in a month just before I was prohibited from flying. Our house was just finished. It was four bedrooms, one story and it had a pool. It was truly my dream house. It was the kind of house where you can have kids run around. I could picture Damien and I sitting on the deck watching them play outside. It had a beautiful yard. Two car garage where Damien could keep all his junk. And I had my beautiful kitchen. Walk in pantry stainless appliances. We could get a cat. Damien was allergic to dogs so a cat would do. And we had a layout for the nursery ready. All we needed was to decide the color of the walls. Everything was perfect._

_"Ok well I don't see anything there. Do you know what that means?" Asked the doctor._

_"No is everything okay?" I wanted this baby as healthy as possible. I walked everyday, ate well, took my prenatal vitamins. I was doing everything by the book._

_"Well that means that it's a little girl." Damien kissed my hand. He had the most beautiful smile. It was always so honest, like him. We are having a girl just like Damien wanted. "Do you know what you're going to name her?" Said the doctor when she was putting the away the ultrasound machine._

_"No. He's going to name her because he was right on the sex." Damien and I had made a bet. Who ever was right about the baby would get to name it._

_"Well I still want you to take it easy. Don't stress too much because your blood pressure is still not where it should be but it is lower than your last visit." The doctor said. I had some problems with my blood pressure since the beginning of the pregnancy. That with the weight loss I had the first few months our the pregnancy caused her to watch me closely._

"Ahhhh!" I screamed as Elliot scared me causing me to fall of the bar stool and spill my coffee over the hardwood floor. "You idiot what's wrong with you!" I screamed as he laughed at my reaction.

"I'm sorry I'd dint think you'd fall." He said helping me up. "Don't cry baby it was a joke." I didn't realize I was crying. I wasn't crying because of him though. He didn't know that though.

"You're an ass." I told him with my most serious face before laughing.

"I'm sorry. Forgive me." He said kissing my lips.

"No." I tried to push him away.

"Forgive me." He kissed my temple.

"No. Go away."

"Forgive me." He kissed my nose. "Forgive me." My cheek. He asked for forgiveness then kiss another part of my face. Each of my eyelids. My jaw. My chin. There was no part of my face his lips had not touched. My smile got bigger with every touch. But I still said no.

He looked into my eyes. "Forgive me."

"Why." He thought about it.

"Because I need you." He answered. I stayed silent just looking into his eyes. He needs me.

"You have me." I whispered my hands on his back pulling him toward me.

"Then forgive me." He said with desperation in his voice.

"Why?" I repeated more quiet than before.

"Because I love you."


	10. Chapter 10

**I do not own Fifty Shades. Thanks for reading, following and reviewing. **

* * *

"Because I love you." My arms dropped from his back. Wow. He loves me? Me? Why would he love me? I'm a liar and I'm nothing special he barely even knows me. I should tell him about Damien. He loves me. As I had an inner monologue time seconds passed and Elliot stepped back. I wasn't really paying attention though. Shit, I hurt his feelings I should say something. What do I say. I love you too? Do I love him? Yes. No. I don't know. He's so great but is it too soon? Damien and I just- Damien doesn't matter.

He cleared his throat. "Um... Sorry I... You're not ready for that." Am I ready?

"I was just thinking." I said smiling at him. He looked so nervous, so out-of-place I felt bad. I loved him nervous. I loved him when ... I always loved him. It wasn't until that moment that I realized that what I was feeling toward him was love. He was a good man. He started walking away, so I went after him. He was much taller than me. He tooked the stairs two at a time and by the time my mind started operating he was at the top. He didn't even look back at me but I kept following him. "Elliot." I called after him but he kept walking. He opened the door to a room, before the door shut I walked inside.

It was his bedroom. He had a large four-post bed. It was kind of dark inside because of the dark paint colors on the wall. The right wall was glass that lead to a deck. I didn't get to fully appreciate the view because Elliot had turned toward me.

"What's up?" He said casually.

"You love me?" I said a bit out of breath.

"Yes."

"Sit and talk to me." He did as I asked sitting on the bed. I climbed on the bed behind him and massaged his shoulders.

"You freaked me out. It caught me of guard and I didn't know what to say. I'm sorry if that made you feel bad." I sat back on my ankles still talking. He wouldn't look at me and for that I was grateful. "I don't want to lose you. And I don't want to lose Isabelle so I never said anything. You're good with her you're like the dad she never had. I love that about you. Elliot I love you too. I just don't want to mess things up."

"How is that messing things up."

"I'm just... Scared." I said. I was now crying. I couldn't lose him. He was now facing my and he lifted my tear-stained face.

"Just trust me. I'll take care of you. If you'll let me. I want that for you. For us. The three of us. We can love each other. I won't mess it up. We can have a family. Have kids. I know it's soon and I'm not saying marry me now but if you'll take me I'll love you and take care of you. I won't leave you. Don't cry."

"I love you." I said before my mouth connect with his. I pulled his shirt by the front and pulled him forward. His chest trapped my arms in front of me and he pulled on my bun releasing my hair. I was still sitting on my ankles so he started leaning forward to me, I whimpered because of a cramp. He dealt with that by arranging my legs so that my feet were flat on the mattress. "Sorry" I said.

"It wasn't you fault. I told you. I'll take care of you." He positioned himself in between my bent legs. I wrapped them around his waist pulling him closer. I needed him closer. I need his clothes off, that's what I needed. But our kiss was slow so it would wait.

I was raised in a small town. Everyone knows what happens in everyone's life. My mama always told us to not give into hormones so easily. When I was leaving for school she said, "I'm ain't gonna tell you to wait for marriage because you won't listen to me, but always have a man wine and dine you before you jump into bed." In that moment I thought about what she said. And Elliot and I loved each other. I know we did. We had never even gone on a date and that may seem old-fashioned and stupid considering the situation yesterday, but that's how I was raised.

"Elliot we should stop" I said as he kissed my neck. He immediately looked at me. "I... Just ... Umm never mind." I said and tried to kiss him again but he wouldn't let me.

"What is it?" I reached for him again and shook my head. "No tell me."

I told him about my mom. He laughed at me then kissed my nose. He groaned and lay on his back next to me. He put pillow over his face and groaned again. I sat up next to him and smiled. I pulled away his pillow to look at him biting my lip. "Sorry."

"No I said I'll take care of you and if this is what you want then I will wine and dine you baby." He got up and walked to the bathroom. I noticed he was adjusting himself on the way there.

"Do you need help with that?" I chuckled at his awkward walk.

"Shut up Carolina." He said shutting the bathroom door.

"Okay I'll just give you a minute. Take your time and make yourself feel better." I teased. I heard him say mumble something about "damn southerners" but walked off to make him breakfast.

"So what happened to my clothes?" I asked him when we were sitting in the breakfast bar eating.

"I didn't want you uncomfortable so I helped you change into my shirt. I was going to take you home but you wouldn't wake up so I just carried you in."

"Did you take off my bra?" I realized I wasn't wearing one.

"No I didn't want you to think I was taking advantage of you so I left it alone." Then where is it I thought. "But as you were undressing you took it off on your own. I didn't touch you I swear." I nodded my head. He looked at me with a smirk. "I did watch though." I rolled my eyes.

"And?" I asked.

"And what?" He asked looking at me.

"What did you think?" I smirked back. He laughed at me.

"Very nice. Very round. Kinda big for some one so small but I'm not complaining." He took a sip of juice. "I think your right one is just a bit bigger though." I threw my napkin at him laughing.

"Really?" I asked still laughing

" I don't know let me see again." He said. I hit his shoulder.

"You're terrible." I said clearing the table. He came up behind me to wrap his arms around me when I finished with the dishes. His chin rested on my head. Turning around I wrapped my arms around his torso. He smelled good like cologne. It was probably from yesterday since he had no reason to use it. Or maybe he did from the incident in earlier. His house was cold. I started getting goosebumps. I folded my arms in front of me, he just held me tighter. He kissed my temple and I smiled at the scene. I must have looked ridiculous. Smiling when we were not saying anything.

But I had missed being cared for. Well even Damien wasn't like this. They were different. Damien would cave into everything I would say, a quality I wanted from a man. Now I didn't want that I wanted someone to fight with. Someone to fight for. With Elliot there was no getting comfortable. It's not that Damien was unattractive, he was just very reserved. We lived in the same town and I never talked to him until I moved to Seattle.

Elliot on the other hand was very open with people. He loved teasing people. And he wanted a family more than anything. He would never admit it but I knew it was true. I loved how he talked about his family. He always spoke with such admiration about everyone including Christian.

Christian never graduated college yet managed to have one of the most successful businesses in Seattle. Not once did he talk negatively about his brother. He said he was so proud that everything worked out well for Christian. He was never jealous.

His mom was his hero because she had saved all her kids from being alone, so he tried to do everything for her. She was the most caring mother he could have asked for. And although he was adopted he never would have known had they not told him. Grace always put her kids in front of her own needs.

He would say that his father was hard-working. But he worked hardest when it came to his family. His parents marriage went through some rough times raising three teenagers but he always loved his wife. They always worked it out.

Mia was crazy. Or so he said. She was the biggest brat and the most spoiled daughter. Of course he and Christian didn't help the situation when they started making money. They constantly spoiled her. But she was very easy to love. She was always happy. He loved threatening her boyfriends when she was growing up, she would hate him for it but quickly get over it.

I sighed into his chest. I felt him move, he was now carrying me upstairs to his bedroom. He laid me on his bed. I moved back to get under the blankets. He joined me and lay down with his hands behind his head. My head resting against his chest I closed my eyes. We didn't need to say anything just being here with him was more than I needed. He was everything I needed to feel complete. Well if Isabelle was here then it would be perfect but just being here with him made me realize just how much I loved him. He wasn't controlling or violent. He loved me. I could be happy with him.

I looked up at him resting my chin on his chest. "Elliot?"

"Yea." He looked down at me smiling.

"I love you."

"I know. I love you. " I kissed him quickly.

"Why do you always have your hair up?" He asked randomly.

"My hair is too long." Damien never liked long hair so I would constantly cut it but now I just grew it out.

"Why don't you cut it?"

"I don't know. Should I?"

"No I like long hair. Gives me something to hold on to." I rolled my eyes.

"When is Isabelle coming?" I asked

"What am I not fun enough?"

"You are, I just miss her."

"Oh I don't know when Mia gets here. Home fully soon I have to meet Christian and Ana at their house."

"Oh."

"You should come with me I have to meet with their designer on the house and you should get to know Ana."

"I should?" I questioned him. "I thought they already had a house."

"They live in Escala now. But Christian asked me to build him a house so I did. Come see it, Isabelle is going. And Christian said he wants to talk to you about something."

"Okay. Have you talked to Ana?"

"Yeah I apologized to her... She's pregnant." He told me. He didn't seem excited, he sounded disappointed.

"Is that why she was... The way she was the other day?"

"Maybe she's not the kind of person to say something like that. Even Christian was surprised. She's actually very calm most of the time. She's good for Christian. It doesn't matter we both apologized and she's having a baby." I turned to face him.

"You don't seem too happy. Why?"

"I am happy it's just I was thinking about Isabelle. About how she's like a daughter to me."

"You really are good with her. You'll make a great father one day." I said to him.

"You're good with her too. I think she listens to you more." He was right. She always did what I asked. She rarely complained to me. She wasn't the same way with Elliot though. It wasn't that she was disrespectful but he just did things for her.

"She listens to me because I actually tell her to do things. Plus all she has to do is say please and you give into her." We laugh at that.

"So we're good parent, bad parent." I nod. "You know she thinks you're her new mom. She said your nice and you brush her hair. You take her to school. You make her dinner. she loves you." He continues. I never thought of myself as her mom. I guess I do mom things for her but that's because she needs me to. "She asked me if she can call you mom." He looks at me. I immediately look at him with my mouth open.

"What did you say?" I asked.

"That she had to ask you." He tried to pull my hair out of its messy bun but I moved. I sat next to him, my arms around me knees and my head on my knees.

"She told me the same about you. She said that you were like a dad. Have you talked to her about that? About what relationship you have. Because she knows that she is going to live here from now on but does she know you are her uncle or whatever you are?" He sat up to look at me

"I don't want to push her into anything."I moved the blankets to sit between his legs.

"You're not, just talk to her." He nodded. "I should really get going." As I was moving he grabbed my ankles to pulled me toward him. My legs were now on either side of his hips. His hands went to the bottom of my thighs making their way to the back of my knee.

"Stay one more minute." He whispered into my neck.

"Wine and dine Elliot." I reminded him.

"I promise I'll be good. No sex. Yet." He said. He kissed my neck. He kissed my jaw. No sex he said. Okay. I believe him. I moved my head to the side giving him access. Giving him the green light. He smiled against my skin and kissed my neck again. He had my skin in between his teeth and started sucking. My hands had started on his wrists but were slowly making their way up his arms. He was so muscular. I reached his biceps and squeezed. He flexed his arms so I squeezed again. He was god like in everything he did to me. His mouth was now sucking on a different part of my neck. He never stayed in one spot for too long. He bit just under my ear, then his tongue lightly touched my skin. He would suck, then lick, and blow on a spot then move lower. He was now where my shoulder and neck meet. I moved my arms to his shoulders. My hands moved to his neck, he moved to a new place for his mouth to work. He moved to the other side of my neck to repeat the process.

All I kept think was: breathe. Suck, lick, blow. His hands went down to my ankles. They made their way to my knees then back down. "Elliot." I moaned. He sucked harder, our chests touching. I pulled his hair to make him suck harder. He did. "So good..." I managed somehow. He pulled me closer. I could feel him there. He was hard, so ready. As was I. I moved against him. The friction was so satisfying. I could only imagine what it felt like when he was inside me. Thrusting inside me. With out thinking I opened my legs wider. He was going to pull my shirt off but stopped last-minute.

"I promised no sex remember." He told me looking at me. He was throbbing, I could feel it. I was throbbing. I should just keep going. It doesn't matter. "Fuck" he was frustrated so was I. "We're done for the day. Shit. I was going to please you but I don't have that much control with you. Fuck. Sorry. Your clothes are in the drawer of the night stand in the guest room." He got up kissed my forehead and walked away.

I was in the bathroom of the guest room. I felt him there. He was so hard so hot. Before I knew what I was doing I inserted one finger inside me. Elliot. That's all I could think about. With my other hand I rubbed my clit. I started slowly but the more I thought about Elliot, it didn't make sense to be gentle. He would be rough. A true dominant. So I rubbed faster I inserted another finger. I remembered lick, suck, blow. He could do that to so many places on my body. I whimpered his name when I finally got my much-needed release.

I was slightly embarrassed to do that in someone's house. But if Elliot found out he would be more turned on than anything. Or maybe he would be upset that he didn't get to watch.

I changed, got my purse ready to go home. I knocked on Elliot's bedroom door. He shouted telling me to go in. He was on his laptop typing.

"I have to go" Elliot looked up from the screen then walked towards me.

"Ok. I'll pick you up to go to Christians later." As always he walked me to my car our kiss goodbye was very short which was good because we had a habit of getting carried away.

My mother had called my house when I was gone. I don't really talk to my parents much anymore. I know that it hurts their feelings thinking that I don't want to talk to them, but it's not that I don't want to its that it's easier this way. Easier for me. I keep expecting to feel better about what happened last time I was home but I don't. But I called her today anyways. I was feeling generous.

"Mama?" I said. I hear her on the other line crying. It was never my intention to hurt her so much. I just didn't know how to cope. I didn't mean to hurt anyone.

"Little girl, where have you been? I've called but you just don't answer me. Heck you don't answer anyone except Andy and that's only because y'all live so close. When are you coming home? What's going on with you?" She told me. I loved her voice she was a true southern woman with her accent. My accent some how went away after five years away from home but every once in a while it would appear again only when I was upset.

"I'm sorry. I just didn't know what to say. I can't go home mama you know that. It's too hard being there." I told her.

"Well you're coming to see your mother not the Nash family it's doesn't matter what they say. You shouldn't be afraid of them I know your hurt about Damien-"

"I'm not ready to face them mother. I just won't, you don't understand. I'm not going please don't bring it up." Now I remember why I don't call. All she ever does is remind me of how screwed up things turned out. I wasn't going home. Not yet anyways.

"Well your sister wants to see you. She need to tell you something. Call her."

"Okay I'll call right now. By Mama. I love you." I said hanging up. I wasn't going to call my sister it would only be a repeat of the conversation I just had.

_**On my way. -E**_

Shit! Now I had to rush to get ready. What do you wear to see someone's house? I went with simple jeans, a black V-neck shirt with some knee-high boots.

"Where is this house?" I asked Elliot as we drove. We had been in the car for a while but that was mostly because of the traffic.

"It's by the sound. He wanted to demolish it but I just had it fixed up a bit. It's fucking awesome though." He said with a smile.

"You sound so in love." I joked.

"I am." He said looking at me.

"With the house."I said.

"That too. It's too big for my taste but it has a pool, that's basically my only requirement for a house."

"Why didn't you build a pool at your house?"

"I was going to but then I thought I'll just build one when I move to a new house. Doesn't matter I'll just use Christian's now. He's gonna build this huge gym in the house so I'll just work out there. Hang out with Luke and Jason while I'm there."

"Luke and Jason?" I asked.

"Christian and Ana's security. Christian doesn't like to interact with staff too much but they're not my staff so I don't care. I'm too damn old to have my little bro telling me who I can talk to."

"When are you moving to a new house? I didn't know you were moving."

"Well that depends." He said.

"On?" I asked.

"When are you moving in?"

"I didn't know I was going to move in." I was a little skeptical about where this conversation was going. He wasn't asking me to move in was he?

"Well I haven't asked but I know that you will move in with me at some point. Just saying." He said it so casually. Did it not make a difference to him to live with someone. That's a big decision. A huge step with couples. "But of course we still have to go through the whole wine and dine shit you demand so much miss Reid." He smiled at that I knew he was being sarcastic by the tone of his voice. He was overly dramatic so I knew he didn't really care.

"I told my brother we are dating. I'm gonna tell Ana today when I see her. Hopefully nothing happens I don't want to get into another fight with her, Christian may fire me." He said.

"Ok should I be worried?"

"No he said I can do what ever the fuck I want as long as I don't get in his wife's face again. His words, not mine. And he's fucking ecstatic about no more Kate. Don't worry about him. I love you. Besides Isabelle, nothing matters." He kissed my hand but I reached out to kiss his lips briefly at a stop light.

"So we had some electric issues in the gym last week but theyre fixed now so you should be inside your house in a few weeks. I know you want it done by thanksgiving and so far we are good on that time line." Elliot was explaining to us as we walked around the house. He lead the group with Christian and Ana behind his and Isabelle and I at the end. He was right this place is huge. Completely grand and over the top but it was nice. The views were amazing.

Isabelle had wandered into a different hallway so I followed her. I found her looking towards a meadow. She looked like she really wanted to play but it was raining so that wasn't possible. Unfortunately while chasing her, I wasn't paying attention, so I was now lost. Well not lost but I couldn't find the others, and by others I mean Elliot. Luckily Christian came to our rescue. Or so I thought.

"You're dating my brother?" He was no-nonsense very straight to the point.

"Yes" I tried to remain confident but he was so much taller so serious.

"He loves you." That wasn't a question.

"I love him." I told him honestly.

"You shouldn't lie to him." He said calmly. I was confused.

"I'm not. I do love him" who the hell does he think he is. He may be master of the universe in his world but he does know me. He's just-

"I did a background check on you. Does he know about Damien?"


	11. Chapter 11

**I do not own Fifty Shades. Thanks for reading, following and reviewing.**

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"You don't know anything about that." I defended my self.

"Clearly I know more than Elliot." He stepped closer to me. He was trying to intimidate me and he was.

"I was going to tell him. When the time is right. It's too soon to tell him." My voice was faltering. I didn't talk about what happened with anyone. I talked about it enough to the lawyers, Christian Grey didn't need to know anything.

"What did happen?" He narrowed his eyes.

"It's a long story. I can't explain here. I'm going to tell him just, not now."

"Then tell me. My brother has always been easy-going. He doesn't really care too much about people's history. But he needs to know you should tell him. The longer you wait the less he will believe you." He said

"I didn't do anything! The reports all said the cause, it wasn't my fault! You weren't there you have no idea what happened."

"I'm aware of that but what my team uncovered doesn't really work in your favor. I could just show him the file. If he saw it then he would come to the same conclusion as me." He said. I looked away. He was right. But I didn't do anything. "Why don't you tell me what happened? That way when you do tell Elliot I can talk to him for you."

"Why? Why would you want to help me. You don't even know what happened?" I always thought that Christian was ruthless when it came to protecting his family. I wasn't sure what to think about him now.

"Because I think you are just what he wants."

"Well I can't explain now it's a long story." I repeated.

"What about-"

"There you are we've been looking for you is everything okay?" Ana came in. She when to Christians side immediately. I nodded. I was glad for her interruption maybe he would let it go. I didn't want to have to go over the story again, when I left Brooks, I thought that I could leave everything behind. The trials were over, and Damien was gone. There was no "ifs" in my mind I just accepted it. Can't change the past.

"I'm hungry." Said Isabelle suddenly. I had forgotten that she was in the room. She was too focused on the rain outside. Christian looked at her and walked out with Ana. Isabelle and I followed. Elliot was in the kitchen with food around him. Apparently Gail had packed lunch for us.

I didn't really understand Christian. He was always very cold towards people, except Ana. But when we got to the kitchen he set a place and a plate for Isabelle to eat. As she began eating he watched her. It was like he had to make sure that she actually ate. He served her way too much food, there was no way she could eat all of it without getting sick. I realized I was staring and started eating my self. When Isabelle started trying to eat the spaghetti she couldn't really eat with her fork, so Christian started feeding her. Elliot and I had confused looks on our faces but Ana looked so happy. She was probably picturing what he would be like with her kids. But her apatite dwindled after a few minutes.

"You need to finish your food you don't want to be hungry later." Christian said to Isabelle after she refused to eat any more.

"But I'm not hungry anymore I can just finish eating later." She said looking at her plate.

"Why don't you just finish now. You haven't eaten enough" he was persistent with her.

"I'm not hungry." She repeated.

His jaw tightened. "Eat your food Isabelle."

"Christian" Ana warned. She looked torn between the five-year old and her husband. I was going to say something but I wanted to see what would happen.

"I'm not hungry though." Her eyes were red now. Elliot and I just watched. I wanted him to say something to Christian but I wasn't in a position to start anything with him. He was also Elliot's family and I didn't want to make bad impression by arguing with his family.

"You know there are kids who can never eat and you're wasting food." Christian tried to reason with her. She's only five though there is only so much so much she can understand about world hunger. "Do you know what it's like to not have food?"

"Fuck off Christian! She's just a kid if she doesn't want to eat let her." Elliot yelled making Isabelle, Ana and I jump. Isabelle had tears down her cheeks after that. She was sitting between Christian and Elliot. She was between the two people who were most upset. She started sobbing suddenly.

"Isabelle." I whispered to her, but she wasn't listening. I tried to get her to look at me.

"Isabelle." Christian said quietly but there was some worry in his voice. He reached out to tap her shoulder when she grabbed her fork and started stuffing her mouth with the food. She was sobbing and eating now. We were all watching her. He tried to touch her shoulder but when his fingers made contact with her she screamed.

"I'm sorry! I eat all of it. I'll be good." She shrieked. I was slightly upset with how Christian tried to make her feel bad but it wasn't his intention for her to react like this. No one was prepared for this. This had not happened before.

"Izzy? Baby?" She didn't listen to Elliot either. I didn't know what to do but if she kept eating the way she was then she would just make herself sick and I didn't want that.

"No I sorry! I finish my food!" She screamed even louder causing Jason and Luke to come out from where they were hiding. She didn't need an audience but asking them to leave would be rude. I stood up only to walk toward her. I reached toward her, just like Christian and Elliot did. But that just made her scream again. I kneeled next to her chair.

"Izzy baby. Look at me." She wouldn't look at me. I needed to help her. I grabbed her wrist and stopped her from getting more food. "You don't have to eat anymore. Isabelle it's okay. You are a good girl just look at me." Elliot pushed the plate away from her so that she couldn't reach it anymore. She started hyperventilating. "Breathe."

"Sorry. Sorry. I'm sorry." She kept apologizing. I pulled the fork from her fist and set it down on the table. "I'm bad. I don't listen." She kept saying. I was crying now. I felt so bad for her. It was just food. I know realized that it wasn't Christian's fault. I wasn't really blaming him for this incident. She had put her feelings off for so long, now they just came forward tenfold. My little baby thought it was her fault when it wasn't. She had a difficult life before and now she forced to live this new life without much explanation. I kept wiping her tears but they fell so quickly. Before I knew it I had tears. She noticed. "I make you sad. I'm bad." Oh no, this wasn't her fault. Not in the way she thought anyways. I wiped my tears.

"You don't make us sad. You're not bad Isabelle." Elliot said from behind me. He reached for her hand but she screamed, got up and ran from the kitchen. Before any one could react I started going after her.

"Isabelle." I said. I was following her now.

"Izzy." That was Elliot. I looked behind me and everyone was following us. Isabelle saw that we were after her, that only caused her to run faster. So I ran faster too. we shouldn't all be after a little girl. Since she lived in what I assume was a violent house hold before we came into her lives, she must have thought that we were all against her. She was so small, we were so many, so big compared to her. She got to one of the sliding doors in the back that lead to the meadow and ran out. It's was raining. I didn't want her in the rain. She didn't need to get sick. Hopefully she didn't like the rain and stopped running. But luck wasn't on my side. It's started raining harder, she ran faster. "Where are you going?" I yelled out to her. I saw water. That's when I started to panic. She was running toward the water. She wouldn't jump would she? Fuck. How can this little girl be faster than me. I mean I was catching up but she would make it to the water before me. She might jump. I picked up on Elliot running beside me from my peripheral vision. Thank fuck he was taller because my short legs would not get there in time. She had reached the dock. Elliot ran faster. Shit. Shit. Shit!

He was so close to her, she was so close to the edge though. So close. She jumped. "No!" Because my screaming would somehow make the situation better. It wouldn't. She jumped into the water. Does she know how to swim? I hope so. Elliot jumped in after her when her reached the edge, seconds later. I was there after him. I was going to jump in too but it seemed better that he hand her to me and I pull her up.

She wouldn't go though. She didn't know how to swim but she kept moving. She kicked and screamed. At some point she punched Elliot in the nose. Is wasn't a hard punch but he was going to get a nose bleed. She kicked against his chest causing her to move farther away from the dock. "Elliot! Elliot move her this way I'll pull her up." Taylor and Christian were behind me now. I didn't even realize when they got here.

"Fuck!" Said Christian as we all watched Elliot struggle. Suddenly Luke jumped into the water. Luke grabbed one of her wrists to stop her from hitting Elliot. She screamed. It wasn't a scream as if she was afraid. She sounded like she was in pain. I thought Luke might have been too rough with her but he wasn't, she was just upset that she couldn't get away. Elliot grabbed the other wrist, but she still had her feet kicking.

"Don't hit me. Please. I don't mean to be bad." She said. She wasn't being bad, she was... I don't know what she was but I had to help her. "Please."

Taylor reached forward and grabbed her wrists as Elliot lifted her body. When we got her out of the water she tried to run again but Christian had her in a hold, her back was to his chest and her arms were at her side. He lifted her up so her feet weren't touching the floor. I wanted to help hold her but it was best if her kept her in that position until she calmed down. Instead I gave Elliot a hand so he could get out of the water. He reached his arms out for Christian to give him Isabelle but she still wasn't calm enough so Christian shook his head.

By the end of the dock there was a golf cart with another man dressed like Christian's security. He had an umbrella and there were towels on the seat next to him. He gave a towel to each of us.

This time Elliot didn't take no for an answer. He grabbed Isabelle from Christian without asking. She was now sobbing into his wet, cold shoulder. I went up to the pair and rubbed her back. I took my towel from my shoulders to drape it around her. I didn't need a towel. I was wet no matter what so it didn't matter. Elliot motioned for me to follow him. Elliot, Isabelle on his lap, Luke and I sat on the back of the cart. The other men were in the front. We didn't really fit but it was better than walking back to the house in the rain.

Elliot rubbed Isabelle's head and I rubbed her back. I couldn't cry, not yet. I didn't want her to think I was crying because of her again. I can't take that look on her face again. I shut my eyes resting my head on Elliot's shoulder. He didn't notice, he was too focused on the little girl sobbing in his arms. He didn't even notice the nose bleed he still had. I bit my lip trying to contain my emotions. But they were too strong. I tasted blood. So I released my lip. He did notice me though. He let go of Isabelle slightly to wrap an arm around my waist and pull me tighter against him. I was biting my lip again, however he pulled on my chin so that I would release my lip from the confines of my teeth.

I wasn't really sure how to feel. I was angry, upset, sad, and relieved. I wanted to know what happened in her old house that made her react like that to food. I also wanted to know why she would jump into the water when she didn't know how to swim. I don't think it was suicide. A five-year old doesn't really understand the concept of dying. Hopefully she just wanted to get away. I was relieved that we caught her in time. She's safe. My baby is safe.

Ana greeted us at the door and offered us all dry towels. I took one. I took the one Isabelle had and replaced it with a dry one. I took of her jacket and covered her with the towel. I also took one for Elliot. He didn't stop for Ana though. He kept walking carrying Isabelle.

"Elliot..." Christian said. Elliot shook his head and kept walking.

"I think we are just going to go." I told them.

"Reynolds will take you. Neither of you are stable enough to drive." Christian said. He was right my hands wouldn't stop shaking. Elliot just seemed unwilling to let go.

But I was glad. I thought that if he let go that she may run again. "Elliot I want to apologize..."

"Not now bro I gotta take them home I'll see you later." Ana looked at us walking away. Before I could react she hugged me.

"I'm sorry about today. We should have lunch sometime this week."

"Of course." I didn't care about lunch, I wanted to go home. Isabelle was still in wet clothes if she stayed in them any longer she will definitely get sick. I wasn't surprised by her request though. In a good way. Christian helped open the door so that we could all get in the car. The ride to the house was quiet. There was the occasional whimper coming from Isabelle but she was mostly asleep so they didn't happen so often.

"We should take her a shower. I don't want her to get sick." I said to Elliot as we got out of the car.

"Ok. Can you help her I'm going to get her some cookies and milk. She likes to eat that before bed maybe. It will make her more comfortable." I watched as he started walking to her bedroom. He placed her in the bathroom. He kissed her cheeks then stood up and kissed my forehead before walking out. "Thank you for staying." I was going to stay anyways. He didn't need to ask me to. She needed me. He needed me. And I needed them.

I helped Isabelle into the warm shower. She just stood there and I washed her hair. I was on auto pilot now my body was moving but I wasn't sure what it was doing. Her eyes were closed and she kept swaying. When I finished I wrapped her in a towel to dry her. I looked in her room and took out her warmest pajamas. Elliot walked in as I finished dressing her. She was too tired to eat anything.

Elliot wrapped her in his arms and set her on her bed but she didn't let go. He didn't want to hold her because he was still wet. "Come on baby if you walk you can sleep in my big bed." She nodded sleepily and followed him out. She went straight for his bed and fell asleep. I went in his bathroom. "Here. The pants are too long but just fold the top. I'll let you shower here. I'm going to the guest room." He went into the closet to find clothes for himself when I started stripping off my clothes. I was in my bra and panties when he walked out. He looked at me. It wasn't how he looked at me this morning. I closed the bathroom door and pulled him into the shower.

I took his shirt off. Then his jeans which were very difficult to pull of since they clung to his legs. I took his boxers off as well. I didn't focus on his body though. I saw his face, his eyes. They were hurt and worried. I caressed his face. " I love you." I kissed him quickly. I wasn't trying to seduce him I just needed him to know that I would help him. That I would be here for him.

He could sense that I was just as upset with the situation. He held me to his chest. "I love you too. So much." He kissed my head, my face. I started crying. "Don't cry. I'll take care of you, both of you." I sobbed into his chest. "We still have our baby everything is okay." He was crying too I could tell by the sound of his voice. His voice showed more emotion that he intended to but I didn't care.

"I don't know how to help her." There was so much desperation in my voice. He didn't say anything. There was nothing he could say at the moment.

When the water started getting cold we finally exited the shower. We helped each other get dressed. He gave me one of his T-shirts. It smelled like him. He brushed and braided my hair while I rested my head on his chest. My arms were at his back holding him to me. I kissed his chest repeatedly showing him how much it meant for me to have him. He responded by kissing my head. When he finished he carried me to bed. I expected him to lay me down next to him but he laid me on Isabelle's left side. He then walked around to her right side, so that she was sandwiched between us. He understood me better than I thought. I need him, but we both needed her safe. This way we could all be together. We could protect her from everything in this arrangement. Or we could at least image we were protecting her. But how do you protect someone from themselves'.

"I love you." I said looking at Isabelle.

"I love you too." Elliot responded.

And we did. We both loved this broken little girl.

* * *

**So I'm sure you'll all be disappointment about the Damien thing but I think it's too soon to find out yet. I want the relationship between Elliot, Isabelle and Lina to grow more before that happens. You'll find out in about 3 or 4 chapters. **


	12. Chapter 12

**I do not own Fifty Shades. Thanks for reviewing and following. **

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"Elliot get the door." I mumbled. Some one was ringing the damn door bell. Who the hell visits at 5:32am?

"You get it." He's said turning over.

"Your house." We had to whisper because Isabelle was still asleep.

"I give you permission." He took my pillow to cover his head.

"Fuck it's cold. Turn on the heater."I said as soon as I was out of bed.

"Sweaters in my closet." He mumbled. I rolled my eyes. Some gentleman he was. I made my way downstairs where the doorbell was still ringing. It better be damn important be waking me up. I was going to look through the peep-hole but I wasn't tall enough so I just opened the door. As soon as the door opened Christian walked inside with his little army behind him.

"Come inside." I said sarcastically. Once they were inside he turned to look at me. "Morning." I said lazily.

"Where's Elliot?" He asked.

I pointed to the stairs. "Sleeping with Isabelle."

"She's not going to school?"

"I don't know it's too early for her to wake up. Christian... About yesterday, with Isabelle" I said.

"Why the fuck are you here?" Said Elliot coming down the stairs. I couldn't really tell if he was upset or not.

"I came to apologize." Christian stated simply.

"You couldn't wait to do that? You had to come in at 5 am?" Elliot wasn't upset I realized. He was laughing now.

"I didn't mean to force feed her. I have... issues."

"Issues?" I questioned him.

"Food issues." He and Elliot responded.

"What kind of food issues?" I asked. I looked at Elliot but he shook his head telling me not to ask about the subject. I ignored him and looked expectantly at Christian.

"She shouldn't waste food." He said to me. He wasn't going to answer me.

"She didn't waste food on purpose, it was just a lot of food for her. She knows what it's like to not have food. With rick and her mother she wasn't always fed. And she's just a little girl she couldn't eat all you served her. It was almost as much as what I ate."

"I didn't know I just want her healthy. So she doesn't go hungry again." He looked almost ashamed, which caused me to feel bad. I don't want him to think that him taking care of her is inappropriate.

"Elliot and I will make sure she doesn't. But you have to listen to her too. If she eats too much she can get sick. And if she eats too little she'll get sick. It's a balance. But we won't know what is too much or too little if we don't listen to her."

"She doesn't eat a lot anyways. At first she did but then she would complain about her stomach hurting. She ate a lot and ate fast because in her old house she was only given three minutes to finish her food. She's afraid of people easily so don't push her." Elliot said. Christian only nodded his head.

"Regardless I wanted to apologize. I am controlling apparently." Elliot nodded his head in acceptance.

"It wasn't your fault. You scared her."

"She should see some one." Christian suggested.

"Like who?" I asked.

"A professional. I can ask Flynn to see her or you can take her to some one who specializes in children psychology." Oh a shrink. I hadn't thought of that for her.

"Well we haven't really asked about her life before maybe we should..." Elliot says. I nod my head. "She's still sleeping I was going to talk to her later. Did you want to stay?" He asks Christian.

"I shouldn't I have to get to work I have a morning meeting with Ros. I just wanted to talk to you before things got more out of hand. I don't need a repeat of last time. With you and Ana." Christian says.

"Right I'm sorry about that I felt like she was attacking Isabelle. You know I don't think of her that way. I haven't really talked to her besides a quick sorry but I thought we were okay now." Elliot says.

"She understands. I was surprised by her outburst as much as you. But that's my wife Elliot. Next time you speak to her that way I won't be as forgiving with you." Christian has a tone that sounds more like a threat. But it is his wife so I understand. Elliot seems offended that he was being threatened by his brother but just nods his head. He looks upset. But mostly mad. "I have to go. Ana wanted to stop by later and bring some dinner for you and Isabelle. I'll be in the office late so I thought she could join you."

"That's fine. Is Gail making something?" Says Elliot.

"Yes should I tell her to make enough for three or will Miss Reid be joining you?" They both look at me expectantly. I shrug. I don't want to invite myself over, even though I don't want to leave.

"For four. Or six have Gail and Jason join us." I look at Jason, he looks uncomfortable by Elliot's request. He's much more comfortable with Christian staff, he considers them close friends but Christian liked to keep his distance. I don't care. They don't work for me or Elliot so they are just people.

"Six it is. I'll let Gail know." With that he gets up and walks out the door. "Laters."

"Laters." Replied Elliot as he closes the door. He sighs then smirks at me.

"What?" I ask. He's smirking at me walking toward me. It makes me nervous.

"I can see you nipples through the shirt." He says laughing at me. I immediately look down.

I was wearing a sweater which was too thick for my nipples to show. "You can't see anything." I shriek.

He of course starts laughing at me which makes me smile. "I know, I love how you react though." He's in front of me now. I love his smile so perfect. I punch his chest lightly. He pretends to be in pain. Which causes me to chuckle.

He pulls me into a hug and starts running his fingers up and down my back. He starts in the middle of my back, his hands move higher every time. They move lower every time. It's soothing, sensual. The bastard is teasing me. So I move my hands to his back copying his process but after five seconds or so I place my hands on his butt. I squeeze. He does the same. I giggle and he pats my butt. "Play nice Carolina. Don't tease me." His tone is serious but his face is smiling. I stand on my toes to kiss his lips.

"Sorry." I say. But I'm not. We are playful together, that's how our relationship was. "Are you going to work today?" I asked after a few moments of silence.

"Yea but I'm taking Isabelle with me. I'm going in foot check on things for a project. I don't want to take more time off I already took off a week to get Izzy settled. Are you?"

"Yes. But I'll try to leave early. I have to go home so I can change. I don't want to wear the same thing as yesterday." I pulled away from him.

"Why don't you being some clothes over so you can stay tonight."

I pressed my mouth to his. "I love you, I do. But if I bring things over I will feel like I'm moving in and I want you to be committed to me before that happens."

"What makes you think I'm not. I love you and I wasn't planning on being with anyone else." He made me look at him.

"You and Kate just broke up I don't want to be the rebound." In my head it didn't sound so pathetic. But it was true they were engaged, their relationship just ended.

"Look at me." I had pulled my face from his hold. "Your not Kate. It's different with you I want to be with you. If I didn't want to I wouldn't be with you. Don't be insecure about us, about me. I need you to trust me when I say I love you. You. No one else. Just trust me when I say that okay?"

"Okay I'm sorry for acting so pathetic is just hard for me to be with you. I feel like I don't deserve you."

"I think the same thing but I'll be selfish and keep you even if I don't deserve you." He was going to say something but I quickly covered his mouth with mine. He pulled me hard against him. All I could think about was him touching me. My face my back the top of my thighs. Our kiss was very appropriate though. There was no hands where they shouldn't be, I assumed because we couldn't get carried away right now. It wasn't some race to see who could get the other's clothes of faster. There was no removal of clothing just touching, holding. It was our way to confirm that we loved each other.

"G'morning" said the newest addition to the list of cock blockers.

"Hey baby. How are you feeling?" I asked after pulling away from Elliot to walk toward her.

She yawned, rubbing her eyes. "Good. Where my school clothes?" She asked.

"Do you want to go to school?" Elliot asked picking her up. She nodded her head then rested it on his shoulder. She was still tired. "You don't have to go today if you don't feel okay."

"I want to go. I want to play with Amy."

I stepped up to her running my fingers through her hair. "Are you okay after yesterday?"

"What happened yesterday?" She asked confused.

"You got upset and ran in the water. You don't remember?" It worried me that she didn't know what happened.

"Oh i remember. I'm sorry I made you sad." She looked at the floor.

"It's okay. Do you still want to go to school?" I asked again. She nodded again. "Okay well let's get your clothes then you can come down to eat breakfast. It was about 7 now and she normally woke up at this time. Elliot set her down. She walked away slowly with Elliot and I watching her.

"So... Bring a bag Lina. I'm serious." The last part had double meaning.

"Yes sir. I'll make her breakfast but I have to get home. Ill be back later tonight." I kissed him again pushing him up the stairs. "Laters."

Work was depressing again. Just more kids neglected. But the more kids I saw that were neglected, the more I realized that Isabelle was better off.

With Elliot she would have a family and she would be able to see someone who would help her cope with her earlier years. But I couldn't stop thinking about Christian and his "food issues". It seems like I'm not the only one who was hiding things. I should ask Elliot about it later. Then I thought about Elliot, he was great. I would say he's perfect but that would only jinx it.

It was a long weekend but I guess with the Grey's there is never a dull moment. I'm still debating whether that's a good thing or not. So far it's good. I'd rather have a drama filled life with Elliot and Isabelle than an empty one without them.

I was able to leave at exactly five o'clock. There wasn't much traffic from the city to the house so I made it there at 5:30. Ana greeted me at the door. She and Gail were apparently making dinner. Well serving it because everything looked ready.

Elliot and Isabelle were in her room trying to do home work but he was getting frustrated with her. I watched from the door.

"You have to write the numbers one though one hundred?" He said flipping the pages. "What the fuck?! Why do you have to do it four times. I'm sure you get the idea after one time. What the fuck is wrong with your teacher you're only five. Fuck you're not doing this it's too much work." He threw her weekly homework packet at the wall. Isabelle just laughed. At first his language outbursts were shocking but we had both become accustomed to them.

"We do this every week so when we go to first grade we do it fast." She was much more reasonable than him sometimes. Especially with school. She really loved school. She wasn't always happy with homework but she always completed it.

"She doesn't have to do it all in one night it's for the week. She turns it in Fridays. It's not a lot of work. Plus she likes doing it." I said walking over to the now crumpled pages. I set it back on her desk where she continued to do her homework. I placed my hands on Elliot's shoulders rubbing them. He was very tense right now. I kissed the side of his neck making him relax. "Dinner is ready by the way. Let's go eat." They both followed me out with Isabelle chatting quietly about her day. She got a gold star today because she remembered all her words perfectly last week. She was so excited that she showed both Ana and Gail. They praised, her giving her a high five. We ate asking each other about our day. Isabelle as usual was more than happy to share her day in detail. Ana talked about how she and Christian were going to an ultrasound appointment that week. I also learned that Gail wasn't married yet but the wedding was going to happen soon. They just had to find some time off work. Elliot was going to the wedding apparently. Whether he was invited or not. Gail quickly joked that he was at the top of the guest list. I noticed that Jason wasn't there, Ana said that he was Christian's CPO, meaning he went where Christian was. Luke did join us for dinner after Elliot insisted. But he stayed quiet.

There were no signs of the incident of yesterday. I wasn't sure if that was good or bad yet. I cleared the table when everyone finished ignoring Gail's protest. As I washed the dishes Ana walked in the kitchen.

"Kate is my best friend." She stated. Oh great. I could feel a lecture about how her best friend was a better fit for Elliot. "She and Elliot just got engaged and I was so excited to have he as my sister-in-law so I was upset that their engagement ended. It's nothing against you. She's still my best friend but Elliot is my husband's brother." I looked at her. She was playing with her engagement and wedding ring. "I love Christian and he doesn't need any problems with his family but Kate..."

"She's your best friend. I understand. But I love Elliot. I don't want to come between them. Christian and Elliot. He told me that since you came into Christian's life there wasn't much of a relationship between them. I don't want to be the one that causes a drift when he is just starting to have his brother again. I don't have to be your best friend but just know that I want to be with Elliot. I won't try to replace Kate. I'm my own person."

"I know I just wanted to clear the air. I can see how much he cares about you, and you him. You make a beautiful family." We'll not the lecture I expected. Definitely better than the argument I was mentally repairing myself for.

"Congratulations by the way. On the baby. He'll be a great father. He's very caring. Maybe a little too caring but too much love is better than none." I said. She smiled at me, her hand going automatically to her very small bump.

They quickly left after dinner leaving the three of us alone. Isabelle started yawning so we sent her to shower then bed. After we tucked her in bed we made our way out of her room and walked to the master bedroom hand-in-hand.

"You're staying?" Elliot asked me.

"Depends."

"On what?" He had a small smile on his face.

"Can you bring my bag out from my car." I said smiling back. He took the keys from my extended hand walking out without another word. I took my shoes off and set them next to the bed. He brought my bag setting it in the closet. He left it unzipped so I could get some clothes to sleep in but I went though his drawers taking one of his shirts, pulling it over my head. He looked at me questioningly, I just shrugged. I climbed into bed without waiting for him, falling asleep instantly. Well not instantly. But as soon as my head rested on his bare chest I lost consciousness. I was with the man I loved nothing else mattered and I was exhausted.


	13. Chapter 13

**I do not own Fifty Shades. Thanks for reading, reviewing and following.**

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"We're going out tonight." Elliot announced walking into the kitchen where I was preparing dinner. It was Friday afternoon after a very un eventful week.

"Are we?" I asked.

"Yes so stop making food. We have our date tonight." He leaned on the counter crossing his arms over his chest.

"Usually a guy asks the girl." I say while getting something from the pantry.

"Okay sorry. Will you go out with me tonight?" He says in a sarcastic voice. I stop what I'm doing to look at him in his confident pose.

"I can't I have plans." I start moving around again but I didn't miss his face falter a bit. "I have a date. You should have told me earlier. Believe or not you're not the only one who wants a date with me. Get in line." I pat his shoulder and laugh.

"You have a date?! With who? I thought we weren't seeing other people." He doesn't sound too happy so I turn to look at him.

"Well sorry I promised Emily I would take her to this trampoline park." I was smirking at him. His face relaxed after that. "You can come with us. It will be like a double date. You and Isabelle with me and Emily." I pulled his face down to kiss him.

"Then why are you making dinner if you won't be here?"

"For you and Isabelle."

"Well then stop making food and get ready we can eat out." He said taking my hand pulling me away from the counter.

"We still have time. Isabelle is upstairs playing right now I don't want to bother her yet." I walked back into the kitchen.

"Why not? Is there something you want to do?" He said suggestively. "Something with me? Alone?" He started kissing my neck playfully. His hands were on my waist pulling me back toward him. "Preferably naked." He moved to kiss the other side of my neck.

"Like what?" I closed my eyes enjoying his expert touch. His hands were now moving to my waist. They were at my ribs slowly making their way to my breasts.

"Like this." He moved the fabric of my shirt off my shoulder so he could kiss my skin. His hands were at my breast now, pushing them together lightly. I arched my back so his hands would be on my breasts more. My hair was in an up do so he kissed the back of my neck with out going through the trouble of moving my hair.

"That's not the reason but continue."

"You know what would make this better? If you were..."

"Naked. I know." I finished his sentence. He was right. But one date. One proper date is all I wanted before having sex with him.

"I like this dress by the way." One of his hands had made its way to the hem of my dress. Discreetly pulling it up slowly. I wasn't sure how much more of this I could take. When he started sucking on my earlobe my control snapped. I moaned loudly saying his name. I pulled away from him only to grab his hand and pull him out of the kitchen. I lead him to one of the living rooms that her never uses. I planned to straddle him but I couldn't even make it to the couch without attacking his mouth. My hands were at his back then at his head. I had to move closer to him. I needed to feel him as close to me as possible. He lifted me off the floor. Out of instinct my legs wrapped around his waist. I was getting wetter by the second.

We fell on the couch where he positioned himself between my legs. My hands were pulling at his shirt. Our mouths separated long enough for him to sit up and remove it. It was quite a sight. I sat up and started kissing and licking his chest. He kissed me again pushing me back against the couch. His hands were moving up and down my thighs.

His hands were on the inside of my thighs making their way up to my hot center. I opened my legs wider. He looked at me questioningly. So I moved my hips and he understood that I wanted him to touch me. He kept eye contact with me as his hand moved slowly toward where I needed him. Painfully, slowly. I didn't want to seem too eager so I left him to decide the speed. But I was dying at how slow he was moving. I know he went slow to give me a chance to back out but I didn't want to. I needed him to touch me. I let out a moan when the palm of his hand completely covered my damp panties. I leaned forward to taste his mouth. He started kissing my neck and I focused on his hand. It was now pulling off my panties. He moved away and pulled them completely off.

I pulled my dress off and he un clasped my bra. His hand was now in full contact with my skin. He started pulling on my clit. I had never realized how good that could feel. My hands were above my head holding the couch. The moment he started sucking on my breast I knew I couldn't keep quiet any more. I moaned loudly arching my back and Elliot sucked even harder. "Yes" his hand moved against my clit even rougher now. He was good. So good. I could feel his finger at my entrance for a moment. I moaned and he took that as a sign and inserted his finger in me completely. "Fuck Elliot." He felt so good. Not waiting anytime he pushed in a second finger. Most of his body weight was being held up by his arm that was by my head. "You're so wet baby." I was. I moved my hips to meet his fingers thrusts. He sucked on my breasts again. "Right there Elliot. Fuck. Faster". He listened. He kept touching that certain spot and moved faster. I could barely keep up with his pace. With his thumb he rubbed and I could feel my climax coming. "Elliot." I was so close and he realized that too so he inserted a third finger. That was my undoing. I came. I wasn't even sure what was happening or where but my body was in a complete high. Elliot's expert hands kept moving helping me ride it out.

Elliot's head was resting between my breasts as I tried to breathe normally. I had my hand in his hair. "How was that?" He asked me after a few moments of silence. I laughed.

"That was... Fun." I said still laughing. I wasn't sure how to describe it. He was incredible.

"Fun. Thanks no one has ever used fun to describe me. Incredible, amazing godlike I have heard many times but fun is a new one for me." He kissed me again slowly.

"Why are laying on the couch?" Isabelle asked.

Fuck, here I was on the couch naked when Isabelle walks in. Now I see the importance of a bedroom with a lock. Elliot tried to cover me with his body as much as possible. He was a lot bigger so it worked.

"Just talking. Why don't you go to your room so we can go out yeah?" Elliot suggested.

"But I want to talk to. Do you want to know what I did in school today?"

"Not now. Tell us over dinner okay?" I felt bad saying no but if I said yes she would never leave and being naked in front of her felt very uncomfortable.

"Okay can I wear my new shirt?"

"Sure go find it." She left when we told her she could. She really started to love new clothes. Having an aunt who was addicted to shopping didn't really help.

"That was close."

"Yes but get off Elliot I have to take a shower." Elliot got off and watched me.

"What?"

"Nothing you... You have a great body. But you like to hide it." I shrugged my shoulders. "I'm serious. You're hot baby." He said smiling running his hand up my leg.

"So are you." I said with a wink. "You should be in speedos." He laughed at that.

"Speedos?"

I nodded my head. "They're such a turn on."

"Maybe one day." He wasn't serious but it made me laugh anyways. "Take a shower so we can go on this trampoline shit already."

"Your so eager." I commented.

"I am. Are you gonna jump?" I nod my head. Emily is too small to be alone so I'll probably just jump with her. "Okay. Do me a favor and don't wear a bra. Make it enjoyable for me." He said eying my chest.

I hit his chest. "You pig. That's uncomfortable by the way. So forget about that." I decided to dress in some jeans and a button down shirt with my usual converse. I went into Izzy's room to see if she was ready. She wasn't. I officially hate Mia Grey. I haven't talked her but at the moment I don't like her. She has bought Isabelle so much clothes that they don't fit in her closet and she doesn't know what to wear. "Isabelle, Come on kid we have to go. Just wear that pink shirt, that one is pretty."

"But I want to use a yellow one" she said pointing to a shirt that wasn't yellow.

"That one," I said pointing in the general direction. She nods. "You should use that one it's so pretty." She smiled grabbing the shirt and running into her bathroom. Before she could come back because she changed her mind, I grabbed the clothes and threw them in the closet. I'll sort the clothes tomorrow. I gave her a piggy back ride on the way downstairs. Where Elliot was waiting for us. "Okay we have to get Emily. Can you bring down my suitcase please." I said while he and Isabelle made faces at each other.

"Why do you need your suitcase?" He asked.

"Because I'm going home today." I had stayed at his house all week but now I was sure that nothing would happen with Isabelle so he could manage without me. I felt like he was going to object or ask why but he just went upstairs. He's not mad is he?

Andy and Mark are going to have a date night so I told them I'd watch Emily for the night and they would pick her up the next day. Elliot can't be mad about that. I made plans with a friend which I intend to keep even if he doesn't like it.

He came down the stairs without looking at me. He put the suitcase in his car and slammed the trunk. He was mad. But he didn't have to be. I've been here all week I have to go home sometime. Plus I used all the clothes I had brought. Or maybe it was about earlier. He could have thought that we would have sex tonight. That seemed a lot more possible. But I meant it, just one date. One day where it's just us. Alone. He buckled Isabelle into her car seat while I made my way to the passenger's side.

"Why are you mad?" I asked. He started the car and drove out of the drive way. He was being reckless. I didn't like reckless drivers. They made me nervous. "Elliot please slow down." My hands were clenching the side of my seat.

"Why won't you stay?" He asked his voice was angry.

"Elliot I have to go home." He doesn't respond. "Do you just want me to stay tonight so that I'll sleep with you?" I asked. I was kind of disgusted at the thought. I had Elliot on this pedestal which he would be easily knocked down based on the answer to this question.

"Carolina, I want you to stay every night. Not because of the sex but because I love having you there. I'm mad because I want to take the next step with you but you keep rejecting me. It was upsetting at first but now it's just pissing me off. You don't want sex? Fine, we'll wait. You don't want to move in? Fine, I won't push you into that. I ask you to have dinner with my parents? You're too shy so I drop that too. I say you should tell your parents about me, you don't want to because they won't understand. Fine don't tell them. I ask you why they won't understand and you tell me not to ask so I don't. But you have to work with me baby, I love you. This relationship isn't one-sided. Or at least I don't want it to be. Talk to me."

I stay quiet. I didn't know I was doing that. I never realized that he was trying so hard for us and I just put things off. We stopped at a red light so I pull his face to face me and kiss his full lips. He sighs into my mouth but kissed me back. He isn't into the kiss and I don't blame him. He kisses me so that I won't feel rejected but I can tell by his body language he doesn't want to kiss me. I pull back ashamed. My heart aches. My entire body aches. Don't cry I say to my self. But I deserve it. I get back in my seat defeated. Don't cry. He's so good to me and he's right. He does so much for our relationship to grow but I'm holding us back.

I don't say anything neither does he. A tear slips out of my right eye but he can't see it. If I move to wipe it away he will notice. I don't need him to feel even worst. Another red light. He's looking at me I can tell by my peripheral vision. I look out the window hoping he won't see the other tears on my face. I'm a terrible girlfriend. He really does deserve better. He wiped my tears. He must have known. He knows me too well.

I was hoping he would kiss me the way I wanted to kiss him a few minutes ago. But that was selfish of me I didn't serve him. He held my hand the rest of the way. I should have pulled away and just let him drive but I wanted to feel him.

Andy and Emily were sitting on their doorstep waiting for us. Elliot pulled over. Without a word I got out of the car. Emily launched herself at me. She was hugging me because she was excited to go out but I needed to hold her. She loved me, every time I came over she would tell me I'm her favorite and kiss my cheeks squashing my face. I walked to Andy who handed me the overnight bags.

"Hey you okay?" I shook my head. No point in lying to her.

"I'll see you tomorrow okay? Have fun, don't worry about us I'll take good care of her."

"Did you get in a fight?"

"I don't know I'm just... Hurt I guess. It's not his fault but it sucks anyways. We'll talk tomorrow. Tell Mark I said hi." She hugged me for longer than was necessary. Emily was impatiently watching our embrace but when I looked at her she smiled. I picked her up walking to the car. I strapped her in the seat while Elliot introduced himself. She waved but became quiet when she saw that she wasn't the only child in the car.

Once my seat belt was buckled we drove away in silence. The trip was not as fun as I had imagined it to be. The girls got to know each other so they didn't need us adults. They got along well though. Elliot and I sat on a table alone where we could easily see them. Every once in a while they would wave or come to the table to drink water or eat a few fries. We made awkward small talk. I was glad when a couple sat next to us because that was to only conversation that kept going. They stayed for about two hours telling us about their nieces whom they were taking care of. But the silence returned as soon as they were gone.

I was tired of the distance between us so I moved right next to Elliot. My arm was touching his. But then my heart really did break. He got up without a word. He must have gone to the bathroom or to get something to drink. I wasn't sure, I didn't look. But regardless he was repulsed by me sitting so close to him. It was good payback actually. Now I was the one being rejected. I sat on the mats closest to the trampolines the girls were using. I hugged my knees resting my chin on my knees.

I ruined it with him. I know I did. But I couldn't lose him. I was willing to do what ever. I should have just said yes to the date tonight. We could have been at dinner then we could just have sex and this issue would have been avoided.

"I'm sorry that was cruel." Elliot said. I looked up at him. He sat next to me.

"What?"

"Moving away like that. I shouldn't have done it. I'm just mad Carolina. I shouldn't have done that. I wanted you to feel rejected so you can feel how I was feeling. That was a dick move."

"It wasn't. I deserved it." My voice was lifeless now.

"You didn't, you have your reasons for not being ready for shit but I shouldn't push you. I'm moving to fast for you when we should be taking our time. Getting to know each other and shit." I looked at the girls who were now laying on the floor. They were tired.

"Okay then." I agreed.

"Okay what?"

"Well do that stuff. That you want. Well have sex, I'll call my mom in the morning. We can have dinner with your parents whatever you want Elliot. I'm sorry. I should have listened to you I want to be with you."

"No you don't want that. I mean in hope you do in the future but this is about what we want not just me wanting and you caving into my demands. And vice versa." He saw I was going to say something. "Don't argue Lina it's okay. We just have to communicate more. We'll take our time. I've waited thirty years for you I can wait a few more. But every month of sex you deny me is another baby of mine you're gonna have to pop out. I don't care if you must have ten kids. That's ten months of no sex for me. I'm not pressuring you. I'm just horny."

I extended my hand. "Deal." He laughed at my gesture. He planted a kiss to my forehead. "I love you."

"Me too baby."

"Speaking of baby we should take them home. They're falling asleep." He stands then offers his hand to pull me up. I take Emily and he carries Isabelle. I get in the passenger's side and wait for him to get to his side but he doesn't. We is standing outside my door blocking me from closing it. I step out and close the door. I don't want them to get cold. He pulls me against him. My hands are on his back. We kiss slowly. "I love you. I'm sorry I'll try to be more open with things. But I'm glad you told me. If you want we can have dinner with you parents tomorrow." He kisses me again.

"It's okay we'll wait until we're ready." He keeps pecking my lips.

"I want to. Call them in the morning and we'll have dinner. Tell them to invite Mia so Isabelle can see her again I know she misses her auntie Mia." Isabelle has started to refer to Mia as aunt. Grace is now grams and Carrick is apparently her grampy Carrick but it always sounds like grumpy. She still isn't comfortable with Christian but she's okay with her Annie. Elliot is still Elliot and I can see it bothers him.

"I don't want you to give into what I want just because it's what I want."

"I'm not. I'll have dinner with them this weekend if we can. And I'll think about moving in together. But I do expect my date sometime this week." That makes him smile. He kisses me one last to before getting in his side.

He helps me carry Emily up the stairs to my room. "Just so you know I'm one phone call away. And if you get scared or lonely" he winks "you can always come over. Both of you." I nod. "I'll see you tomorrow."

I should tell him. The more time goes by with out telling him the more he will hate me. But when he walked away earlier today, I don't think I want to feel that way again. He'll just reject me like he did today. The only difference is that he won't come back. I'll lose him and Isabelle. Maybe I shouldn't tell him.


	14. Chapter 14

**All rights go to EL James. Thanks for reading and reviewing.**

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"So what happened yesterday?" Andy asked me as we ate lunch the next day. She had come to pick up Emily and we decided to have lunch. I gave her the summary of what happened yesterday. She nodded her head every once in a while to show that she was listening. I told her about how he was right that I was being reserved about our relationship.

"I get where he's coming from but you two just met a few weeks ago. He's asking you to move in isn't that too soon for you. I mean if you're okay with it then great I support you but if not than he needs to leave you alone about it." She said.

"Be means well." I felt like she was attacking him. I didn't need my best friend to have a problem with the guy I'm dating.

"I'm sure he does but you have to do what is right for you not him."

"But I think it is okay like I want to live with him." She didn't say anything. "I love him." I told her.

"That's great. Then move in with him. Wait a minute you haven't told him. That's why you won't move in is it? He won't leave you because of your past relationship. He loves you. Yes you were married before but just because he isn't your first husband doesn't mean he will leave. You have to tell him. I'll be with you if it makes you feel better." She wasn't serious about the last part. Well she was serious but she knows I would feel childish if she was there. I smiled at her.

"I was going to tell him next week. He promised me a date this week so I'll tell him after that." Elliot had called me this morning and asked me on a proper date. He said he called a week in advance so that I could clear my schedule. I laughed at him but it made my day that he would actually ask. It felt very old-fashioned but he knew it would make me laugh so he did it anyways.

"Okay but you have to tell him. Tell him after Emily's party so that he can go. Ape rentals she has a crush on him. So just make sure he's there. Are you seeing him today?"

"Okay I'll tell him. I'll try my hardest to take him to her party. And no we don't have plans. That's kind of weird I've been with him for the last few weeks everyday so it's strange. I'm not seeing him till Monday."

"What's Monday?" She asks.

"I go to his house in the morning to take Isabelle to school. He works early. And we have dinner after."

"Aw do you make him lunch too?" She asks in an overly sweet sarcastic tone.

I blush. "Sometimes"

"You should move in with him. You're there early. You leave late, might as well live with him and be the Betty Crocker mom you always wanted to be." She's teasing me now. There was some truth to what she said though. Not he Betty part but before that I already spent so much time with him.

"Okay. I'm leaving you." I said as she continued her teasing.

"Where are you going." She asked.

"To take a nap. Just kidding I have to go meet with a client about her daughter. "

"It's Sunday."

"It's the only day the mom can meet me so I have to go. I'm sorry. I'll get Emily an extra nice present. See you Saturday."

I met with a girl and her mom. Their father was becoming more and more abusive as days went by. They had come talked to me about leaving him. But they had to wait a few more weeks I had told them that they could leave now and whatever they needed they could get outside the home but they had to wait. They wouldn't say for what but they waited. The little girl Rebecca I had met before at the hospital. When I saw her I immediately took them to the hospital so that she could get stitches on her arm. She tried to say that she didn't need them but I knew better. Luckily they agreed as long as only one doctor saw them. I called Grace on the way their and she agreed to see them right away.

Grace knew that I was dating her son but we never said anything about it. That made me nervous. Did she approve or did she not approve and kept silent so that I wouldn't feel bad? Elliot never told me what his parents said to us dating and I didn't ask. I assumed he didn't care because we were still together.

He went fishing this weekend with his father, brother and some other people which meant that I wouldn't see him until Monday morning. Event though I went in the mornings we didn't talk much. I usually went to his house at 4 am and just crash in one of his bedrooms until it was time to wake Isabelle up. The moment I fell on a bed he would leave. There weren't many words exchanged. So really I saw him at dinner.

The next morning was much like other mornings. I went to his house fell asleep then Izzy and I had breakfast. The only thing different was that I had to pick of the file on Isabelle's tuition information. It was in a yellow envelope. I was tempted to look at it but I didn't because it was for Elliot's eyes. I took it to my office and left it at the bottom of the pile of work I had to do so that I wouldn't be tempted to open it. Luckily the paperwork I had to complete also helped me forget. It helped so much that I forgot to take it home. Well to Elliot's home. He didn't care though her said it wasn't important because he was going to pay the school from now on. He was just curious about how a low-income drug addict can afford the best school in the state. She wasn't a scholarship student so someone had to have been pay of it.

Monday though Thursday were all the same. Wake up at 3:30. Walk into Elliot's house, ignore him and find a place to sleep which was his bedroom. Take Isabelle to school, go to work then go home and cook dinner. After dinner Isabelle would go play in her room and Elliot and I would mess around in what ever room we walked Ito first. As long as it had a lock I was content. He would touch much like the first time. There was no sex and nothing besides his fingers would touch me but that what I wanted so now I live with it. I tried to touch him and he said no. I didn't really get why but he just kept saying that it's about me. There was some dry humping though so that's as close to him as he let me.

On Thursday night he called me asking me to pick up Isabelle because he had to work late. I agreed. When he wasn't home at nine I called to make sure he was okay. He said he was but he just had a problem with someone at work.

"Hey, sorry I didn't mean to wake you I carried you in here." Elliot said as he set me on his bed. I fell asleep on the couch down stair and he must have carried me in because I don't remember getting here. He walked into the bathroom. I heard the shower turn on so I walked in to see if he needed anything.

"Are you okay?" I asked. His shower had clear doors but it was foggy so I couldn't see him.

"No I'm okay. I ate on the way here. Sorry I'm late something came up. I would have made it back earlier but I couldn't sorry." He finished his shower fairly quickly. He grabbed a towel trying it on his waist. Focus. Focus on his face jot his body. I thought to my self.

I leaned on the wall watching him get dressed. "That's fine I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I'm good. So... Tomorrow?" He was grinning.

"What about it?" He stepped forward putting his hands on either side of my head. "You're still going right? To Emily's party tomorrow? With me?" He backed up.

"Oh... I'm... yeah. I thought that was Saturday?" I laughed at him.

"It is I'm just kidding. I believe you owe me a night alone tomorrow." He held my head in place while he kissed me. His tongue invaded my mouth. He kissed me harder and moved his hands to the small of my back. I wrapped my arms around his neck. He lifted me off the ground, my legs automatically went around his waist. He set me on the edge of the bathroom counter. He stepped between my legs with his hips pressing his hard on to my panty covered core. I slid my hands down his chest then to his butt so that I could pull him closer. I couldn't help the moan that escaped me when I felt his erection against where I needed him most. I moved his hips back then forward again so that I could feel more friction. I did it again but this time when I pulled him forward his hips thrusted so there was more force. I threw my head back and he attacked my neck. He kissed and sucked right on my neck. Every few seconds we would repeat the thrusting process. Every time being harder than the last. He felt so good. He stopped kissing me to focus on our hip movements. I leaned back on my elbows watching him. He was looking at out bodies so close so I tune with each other. He was so focused it made me want him more. If that was possible.

When ever Elliot touched me he spent a lot of his attention on my breasts so I knew he was definitely a breast man. I sat up only to remove my shirt. His eyes had a new focus now. He was watching my hands which were now on my breasts. I pushed them up and apart just the way Elliot has done. I pinched my nipples moaning and he stopped thrusting. His mouth was open, he was breathing through his mouth. His breathing was becoming more and more shallow that more I moved my breast. But I need the friction. "Keep moving" I said grabbing moving his hips again. He seemed to have regained mobility. He was really moving now. I slowed my hand move meets so he slowed his hips. Wen I realized that his hips were moving to that rhythm of my breasts shaking I moved my hips frantically causing my breasts to bounce faster. Because they were larger than average, they moved a lot. It started hurting after a while so my focus was on my core. At the moment it was receiving the most delicious friction. Elliot wasn't a loud person when it came to being intimate like this. He always had some sort of control. But it was quickly slipping. The harder he thrust the louder we became I always moaned but he was more quiet than me. But we never had sex so it was just a prediction.

I was so close. He knew it too. He moved faster against me licking my nipples. But one hand moved to my clit. One, two, three circles was all it took to have me screaming his name. My body was shaking from such euphoric release.

Before he had a chance to stop me I moved in front of Elliot, practically assaulting him. My hands found his hard dick and began stroking him as fast as he was thrusting. He didn't complain. He leaned back closing his eyes. He was cursing all sorts of profanity but it didn't register in my mind. All I kept thinking about was his length in my hands I massaged his balls causing him to grip the counter. He was pulsing in my hand. So hard and soft at the same time. So hot and big. I moved faster until he came on my hand and over my stomach.

When he finally moved he pulled off his pants and boxers from his ankles. He walked into the shower. He washed off his cum, then used another towel when he got out, to wipe his release off me.

He kissed my forehead, his hand was in my hair and the other was on my back pulling to him.

"Carry me to bed." I whispered. Carrying me bridal style, he laid me down on what has become my side of the bed. When he was at the other side of the bed, he pressed the front of his body against my back. Reaching back I grabbed his hand wrapping it against my stomach so we were basically spooning.

"I'm sorry I couldn't make it back earlier."

"That's fine. You know I don't mind. Is everything okay?" I said while played with his fingers. He didn't say anything so I turned around.

"Yeah it's fine now there was a set back in a project but it'll get fixed. How was your day?" I moved around so I would face him.

"Good Isabelle wants to know if Amy can come over next week."

"Sure but you have to be here." He kissed my nose.

"Sure. She was worried."

He leaned back sighing. "Why?"

"She thought that you weren't going. That you might have started to forget her."

"That's not going to happen. I'll talk to her tomorrow. My sister wants to know of you can have lunch with her tomorrow by the way."

"Why?" Judging by the look he gave me I had offended him. "I mean why with me? She doesn't know me?"

"She wanted to get to know you. I know I shouldn't insist but I'm going to. She's my family. Make an effort to be nice to her?" Now my jaw dropped. Did he think I didn't like his family?

"An effort? I'm always nice to your family. Aren't I?" He smiles. "Jerk." I hit his chest. He has a habit of joking with me. It's who he is but it's hard to know when he is serious and when he's not. So I hit him again but he catches my hand.

"Please go. She can be annoying but she means well. Plus she's the one that's going to watch Isabelle when we're out so it's the least we can do."

"We? I'm the one going. And I would love to go but I don't have enough time to meet her somewhere, wait for food, then drive back. But I have to go buy somethings after work so she can come with me." It would be nice to know her. Get someone's perspective on Elliot. I just met him so I need to know what I've missed of his life.

"Somethings?" He says slowly.

"Yes." I raise my eye brow at him wondering what he's thinking. "I need some stuff for this weekend."

"What kind of 'stuff' ?" He asks suggestively. Now I know what he's thinking. My hand is slowly making its way up then down his chest.

"You know... stuff." I chuckle.

"Shouldn't I be the one to go with you to buy stuff."

"What kind of stuff do you want me to buy?" He's smirking at me.

"Just some clothes. Something very... Revealing, red. Make sure you don't get too attached to it because it may not make it through the night." I laugh.

"Well I was just going to buy Emily's present but I guess I could make a stop. Anything specific." I say them bite my lip to stop myself from laughing.

"You're killing my mood here." He closed his eyes. My body shifts so I could quickly peck his lips. When I pull back I notice he is smiling.

"So what is the plan for tomorrow?" My head turned so I can look at him. He shrugs.

"Take you out. Give you wine and have sex with you all day." The jokes. Is he serious or not? I can't tell. "You didn't say it had to be a good date." It's true, therefore I can't really complain. But regardless I'm still slightly disappointed. I was hoping he would actually put some thought into it because he was the one that had asked to plan it. My face must have shown my disappointment because he smiled then kissed me again. "Don't worry I have a plan just wait okay. I already told you. I've waited a long time for you miss Reid, I'm not willing to let you go." We were silent for a while before he spoke again. "What are you doing thanksgiving?"

"Going to Andy's house."

"Spend it with me and Isabelle." I looked at him. He was waiting for an answer. Thanksgiving was in two weeks. All I knew was that I was definitely not going home. My mom had asked me to go but I said no. She must have expected that answer from me because she didn't push it too much.

"What about your family aren't you going with them."

"Yes. Come with us, mom will be happy to have you there. Plus I'll need you if we have another incident. I found her a doctor by the way she's going on Wednesday. But come with us." He kissed my neck. His lips moved to my jaw then finally he kissed my lips. We kissed for a while so I forgot the question but he asked me again.

This time I answered him. "Okay." He pecked my lips again. "What goes on in one of your dinners?" He went on telling me about how his moms brother would fly to Seattle with his wife and two daughters with their husbands. The usually made some bet about who was the better family in a certain sport. They would spend their morning doing that. Bragging rights was usually the prize. I'm sure Elliot would enjoy that more than anything else. Meanwhile his mom and aunt would make dinner. They had dinner at exactly five. His aunt was very strict on the time. His older cousin, I can't remember their names, had a son who was Isabelle's age so it would be nice for her to have someone to play with.

We spent the rest of the night talking. He told me stories about his childhood and all the pranks he and Mia pulled on each other. Christian kept to him self a lot so he was not part of these stories. I told him about how I grew up with my sister and three brothers. How we would play with our grandpa's horses. It made me miss home. I've always missed home but going through the good times of my family was hard for me.

"Can I ask you something?" I nodded my head. "Why don't you want to move in? Have you ever lived with any boyfriend you had?" I kept quiet.

"I have." I didn't elaborate. I wasn't ready for him to know.

"Okay... " He made some hand motion signaling that he wanted me to keep going but I turned around.

"I don't want to talk about that." His hand went to my hip and pushed me so that my back was flat against the mattress.

"Ok. Is that relationship why you won't move in with me?" He kept eye contact with me which made me nervous.

"Yes."

"It's not fair to punish me for what happened. What happened with him?" I didn't want to lie to him. But it would be so easy to just make up a story. I kissed him quickly.

"I want to tell you and I know I should but not today. Please don't ruin a good night. It's late and you have to wake up early. I'll tell you, just not right now." Hopefully that's good enough I don't need him to know I'm hiding something. He nodded.

"Fine. Stop talking to me. I'm trying to sleep I have a job you know. How do you expect me to support a family when you won't let me sleep."

"Your family consists of you and Isabelle. That's hardly a large family. You live in a six bedroom house for two people. you'll be fine." I turned around getting back into a spooning position like how we started a few hours ago.

"Well you're part of my family too. So that's three people. And you already owe me one child that's four. But if you don't like this house when you move in we can buy a new one. Or we can build it. Just let me know." I kissed his hand before placing it on my stomach again.

"I love you Elliot." He didn't need to say anything. He kissed my shoulder and I thought about how things would be. We could do that get a house together. More kids. All of that. I wanted that with him.

The next day went by quickly. I decided to pick up Isabelle early so that she could join me and Mia. Honestly I wanted to take her because I thought that she could be a good buffer. I figured that if I took her then she could fill any awkward moments with her chatter. But she wasn't needed. Mia talked a lot. Which is really saying something considering I spend most of my time with Isabelle. She told me about how her and Ethan broke up but not she was dating Luke sawyer, which happens to work for Christian. She didn't mean to tell me so she had me swear on my life that I wouldn't say anything to Elliot. Isabelle asked questions about Luke so that she could join the conversation. When I asked her why it was such a big deal to not say anything she went off on me.

"What's the big deal? He works for my brother. If Christian found out he would fire him and cut me off. I mean I still have my parents but Christian payed for my car. And Elliot would scare him away. Do you know what it's like to have two overprotective brothers like that. I couldn't even date until both Elliot and Christian moved out. So I was like 15!"

"You do realize most people start at that age right?" Fifteen was not that old.

"Well that's true but when Elliot came home from college during holidays he would scare people away. I can only imagine what this little girl is going to go through when she wants a boyfriend." She said looking at Isabelle.

"Me? Eww. I don't want a boyfriend. Daddy said... I mean Elliot said he will buy me any car if I never have boyfriend. So I'm never gonna get one. Never!"

"I didn't know she called him daddy." Mia says.

"She doesn't that's why she corrected her self. She thinks of him that way but she doesn't tell him. He doesn't say anything to her because he doesn't want to force himself on her."

"I'll talk to him"

"You don't have to do that they'll come to it when they're ready."

"So are you the mommy in this situation?" She smirks at me.

"What?" I tried to not spit out my water.

"Well it's true. You're all a little family. You criticize Elliot for not letting her call him dad but you don't let her call you mom. It's cute. It's like in elementary school when you like some one but you can't tell them because you're so embarrassed. Only now it's like you all want to be a family but no on wants to be the first to start it. And it's not going to be Isabelle because you won't let her. And Elliot won't say anything to you because he thinks you don't care about him as much as he loves you. And you won't do it for some reason. I don't know why and I won't ask its your business. But I think that if you guys don't talk about it, it will just ruin your relationship. Not just you and my brother but him and Isabelle too. Oh my god you won't believe what happened with my mom..." Elliot had warned me that she talked a mile a minute. She really does talk a lot. If what she was saying wasn't so important then I would have told her to stop and breathe. I was getting worried she wasn't breathing. But I didn't think about that. Isabelle must have listened because she was blushing.

"Do you want to call him dad?" Isabelle wasn't looking at me when I asked her. But I saw the small nod she gave me. "Well next time you see him why don't you just say daddy. He won't be upset you know. He wants you to. So just do it okay?" She nodded her head. I wanted to tell her she can call me whatever she wants but I needed to talk to Elliot about what he wanted from me with Isabelle. I constantly felt like the odd man out when I'm with them. I felt like I was invading their little family.

"It's not that I won't let her it's just she's his responsibility. I'm just kind of _there_. Like I have no real position in the situation." I said to Mia. I don't know what came over me. If I didn't talk to Andy, then I would usually not say anything to anyone besides Elliot, about how I feel. But I liked Mia. She seemed like a very fun, trustworthy person. So I told her. Talking to Andy was hard because she doesn't know Elliot, so any answer she gave me were biased. Her answer will always be what benefits _me_. Although Mia just met me she is probably as close to a mediator as I can get.

"He doesn't think of you that way." I nodded my head. "He says you're practically her mom and you're his girlfriend. Not just some person. He doesn't want a stranger with her. He trusts you with her and that's saying a lot because that's you know... His daughter.

I'm surprised he actually lets me take care of her. But I guess you guys must need the time... Alone or whatever." That made me laugh. If only she knew we had never had sex. But hopefully today we would. I'm not sure how much longer I can keep up this whole no sex thing. But it's not like I waiting until we lived together. But now that I think about it. He was basically considering living with me even if we didn't have sex.

Mia left as soon as I told her I needed something for tonight. Instead of picking up Isabelle from Elliot's house we just bought her clothes so that she would already have something to wear. That way we wouldn't have to drive Isabelle to Bellevue.

When I got to Elliot's house I took a shower and stated getting ready. He said he would be home before 6, which was later than usual. Our reservations were for 7 pm. It was now 5, so I started getting ready. I shaved my legs, did my makeup and hair. I had naturally straight hair so that didn't take long. My makeup kept looking uneven because it had been so long since I've had to look nice for anyone. I wasn't a completely girly girl. I usually did my make up for work but I didn't buy new dresses for a special occasion, I hated shopping. So he better feel fucking special for me to spend time on my appearance. And I felt a need to look good for him. I wanted him to find me attractive. He always told me how beautiful I was but I wanted to be sexy for him.

I knew that when he came home he would have to shower and get ready himself. Although he didn't take long I knew that he would still take time. I had planned to be ready by the time he got home and I was. At exactly 6, I finished. Elliot wasn't home yet though. He had told me yesterday that he had bad work week so I didn't mind him being late. He must have extra thing to deal with.

At 6:30 I was worried. I called his phone and he didn't answer so I sent a message asking him where he was. He was probably driving. Besides that one time where he was speeding when he was upset I had never seen Elliot upset while driving. Sure he cursed at every driver who did something stupid, but he wasn't reckless.

At 7, I was mad. He had to be late on the one time that we made plans. We didn't make plans to be together before. Mostly we would just, well he would just invite me over randomly and I would come. I called him again but he didn't answer.

I was sitting in the living room watching tv with my tight black dress on at 8:30 when I called him. He didn't answer. I messaged him and asked if he was okay all he said was _fine at work_. I was going to ask what happened but I was too disappointed. I wasn't mad at him any more. I understood that work happens. He's the boss so he has many people depending on him, I can't be mad at him for having responsibilities.

I ordered so some pizza for him so that when he did get home he could at least eat. When the pizza came I ate a slice then went upstairs to change. I got into some yoga pants and took off my make up. I couldn't help the tears when I thought about how disappointed I was in how the night turned out. I thought today was going to be about us, it wasn't. I got my purse and started walking to my car I didn't want to stay there alone. I thought about taking all my clothes home but that would be mean. I loved Elliot even if he stood me up. As long as he was at work I won't be mad. But I just left my clothes at his house. I did hide the dress I bought for tonight in a drawer of his bedroom he doesn't use. That way he wouldn't see it. If he saw it he would know how much I wanted tonight to happen. I didn't need him to think I was pathetic. But I guess when your boyfriend stands you up at his own house you kind of are.

When I got home got home I checked my phone. No new messages, no missed calls. I turned it off. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I cried myself to sleep. Well not really that's am exaggeration. I did have a few tears but I wasn't sobbing that would be too much. I was just disappointed.


	15. Chapter 15

**All rights go to EL James. Thanks for reviewing and following.**

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I hate waking up. I don't care what time it is but getting up from my bed has to be the most annoying thing. Who ever was at my door right now better have a good reason. Seriously, who goes to someone's house at 2:36 am. As I made my way to the door I pulled on some sweats and a sweater because I usually only slept in a long shirt. I opened the door expecting a neighbor but it was Elliot. He was about to hit my door again when I opened it.

"What are you doing here? Is everything okay?" I asked him as I moved away from the door to let him in. He walked in but stood next to me without saying anything.

"Fuck. I'm sorry about today or yesterday. I should have called and when I did you didn't answer. I fucked up but I want to make it up to you." Oh... I forgot about that. I suddenly remember the disappointment I had felt a few hours ago. I didn't know what to say.

"It's fine, you had to work. It doesn't matter. What are you doing here it's late." I said again. I was conflicted. I wanted him to leave but at the same time I didn't. He must have sensed I didn't want him here because he winced at my words. It was probably because I said them with more attitude then was necessary.

He stepped forward placing his hands on my shoulders then moving them down to hold my hands. "I get that you're mad and you have every right to be but I had this problem with some guys. They got in a fucking fight with this asshole who was trespassing on one of my damn sites and I had to-"

"It doesn't matter anymore. You were busy that's fine. There's nothing we can do about it now. You look tired you should just sleep." I cut him off. I didn't want to hear him. Not now anyways maybe tomorrow.

"It does matter, if it didn't matter then you would be at home and you would be happy to see me. And you're not, just please let me make it up to you I owe you I know you want to say that I should just make it up to you tomorrow but I promised you tonight. Let me try and keep that promise. Please." I was about to say no when I looked up at him. He looked crazy. A desperate crazy. But it wasn't bad it was more like an intense regret. "Please."

"Elliot. I'm not even dresses and where ever we go is probably closed already. Let's do this another day."

"Carolina. Just go with me I owe you and you don't have to change, just wear that. You look beautiful in anything."

"Just give me five minutes to change." His reaction was priceless. I rather just sleep but if it would get him to shut up ill do it. I changed into some leggings with a button down shirt. As we were walking out I took a coat and he eagerly grabbed my hand on the way to his truck. I hate his truck. He couldn't bring his fucking car. It's too high for me to get on. And his stupid music was just annoying. I don't know what it was but I was just annoyed by everything. "Where are we going?" We were going driving along the coast of the lake so I wasn't really sure what to expect.

"It's a surprise." Elliot said excitedly. I wasn't in the mood for surprises or theatrics anymore, 8 hours ago sure but at this point I was over it.

"Whatever." I mumbled. He stopped smiling after that. I felt bad that I had an attitude toward him. I leaned my seat back and closed my eyes. He can wake me when we get there.

"Hey baby we're here. Wake up Lina." He was being very gentle. He came over to my side to take off my seatbelt and help me out of the car. I was too tired to actually pay attention. I walked with my head leaned on his arm. "I'm sorry I woke you up I just needed to see you. I've been looking forward to being with you alone all week. But at least it's not raining."

He gave me a small smile. I hurt his feelings. I was acting like a complete bitch when he has been awake for more than twenty hours, instead of sleeping he's with me trying to make it up to me. I might as well make an effort to not be so cold toward him. I stopped walking to stand on my toes, pulling his face down kissing him. With out saying anything I kept walking. He put his arm around my shoulder sighing. "What do you think?"

_The Grace_. A boat? Wasn't it too cold and dark, and late to go on a boat? That thought quickly went away when I looked at the boat. It was covered in little lights. I smiled. It was beautiful. I've never been on a boat so this was new for me.

"It's beautiful." I said to Elliot.

"It is. It's Christians. He let me borrow it for the night. I told you I had a plan. Being late wasn't part of the plan but the boat was."

"Are you going to drive it or move it, whatever it's called?"

"Yes. Christian and I learned a few years back when he first bought it. I was going to use candles but that would have been a hazard."

"It's fine... " I was actually impressed I didn't think he would do something like this for me. "It's perfect actually."

"Yea I was going to take you skydiving but there is no wine involved in that." We laughed. He handed me a glass of wine.

"You're just trying to get laid. And there is a chance that if we did go skydiving I wouldn't make it and you won't get laid. You took the easy way out." I said rolling my eyes. There was a table on the deck with food but it was probably cold by now. Regardless I grabbed his hand and lead him to the table. He pulled my chair out and sat across from me.

"I'm not trying to get laid. Well I won't stop you from jumping into bed with me but that's not the point of this." I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Really?" He nodded. "What is the point of this?" I said signaling around us.

"The point is to show you that.." He stopped to think.

"That?" I wanted to know. I really didn't know what was going on with us. I know we loved each other. But I didn't know what he wanted from me.

"That I love you."

"I already knew that." I said biting my lip.

"But I wanted you to know that this is serious. I'm committed to you. To our family. I love both of you." He didn't have to say Isabelle's name. I knew he was talking about her. "She's our kid now. Ours not just mine. Mia left me a really long message about your conversation. I want you in her life. If you decide you don't want to be with me that's fine but at least be there for her. She needs you." Before he could continue I walked to him. I straddled him kissing him passionately. He was taken by surprise because it took him a while to respond to my kiss. I pulled his hair to bring him closer. His hands were around my torso trying to pull me even closer.

"I need you." I told him before kissing him again. I couldn't get close enough. I loved him. When he told me that I could be part of Isabelle's life even when I wasn't with him something in me clicked. I knew that he loved her like a parent should and that was... Hot. I pulled back because I knew we had more to talk about. But it was hard not to just let myself get carried away. "I need you both. I didn't mean to get so carried away." I said embarrassed.

"I don't mind. I love having you like this. And I'm glad you need us." He said moving hair out of my face. "But I didn't answer your question."

"What question?"

"I'm doing this because you asked me to and I want you to know that I'm willing to do whatever it takes to be with you. Whatever makes you happy." Although it warmed my heart for him to say that I wondered how far he really was willing to go. People say they would do anything but everyone had limits.

"What about you? What makes you happy?" I asked. He reached of my hand and brought it to his lips.

"You. Who you are. The kind of person you are. How you are with me. You are one of those girls you can take home. Which honestly scares the shit out of me because I know if I fuck this up, other woman won't measure up. A few months ago I wouldn't have been with you. I would have tried to get you into bed and not made any effort. If you didn't get naked in the first few days I wouldn't have called. I've been with a lot of women but no one like you. " Women? I never asked about his history. Besides Kate I didn't know about any other relationships he had.

"How many women have you been with?" I asked.

"Out of all the things I said that's the only thing you remembered?" He said laughing and looking away. I shrugged. It must have been a lot because he still hasn't said anything.

"So how many?" I leaned back so I could look at him.

"It was a lot. It doesn't matter. They don't matter. I'm with you now and that's what you should worry about." He was right. I have only had sex with two other people. He would be the third. To be asking and judging him about his past would be hypocritical since I haven't said anything to him. But I didn't want to bring it up now. I needed to focus on Elliot now.

"Okay. Sorry I asked. I'm glad I came." I said smiling at him. I was mad that he didn't show up earlier but I was just happy to be near him.

"Yea so am I. Come here I want to sit with you." He lead me to the front of the boat where there were some chairs. They were long chairs that you would see on the side of the pool. Elliot took a seat in one. I took the blanket off the other chair but sat with Elliot in his. I leaned back on his chest. "You were pissed earlier."

"I wasn't. Well I was but I was more disappointed then anything." He was rubbing my arms.

"Sorry I fucked up our plans."

"You already said sorry. Yes you did stand me up but I'm forgiving you slowly. I'll forgive you completely if you give me a massage." I said chuckling. He started rubbing my shoulders. "I was joking. But that does feel nice. You're really good at this." I said. He was, his hands were on my shoulders moving slowly down my back. I didn't mean to but I let out a moan.

"I'm good at a lot of things. I can show you if you want."

"Okay. Show me." I don't care what he did as long as he didn't stop. He kissed my neck. "Oh that." I giggled. "You're so forward."

"That's nothing baby." His hands moved to cover my breasts then massaged them. "That's forward. Not too much but just enough." He started sucking harder and getting rougher with his hands. I bent my knees because my body couldn't stop squirming under his touch. He was so good, despite the cool air I was getting heated fast. "Do you want to see how forward I can be baby?" I nodded my head. "Say it, I want to hear you." He pinched my nipples.

"Show me Elliot." One of his hands tilted my head to that I was facing him. His tongue invaded my mouth. My moans were unstoppable at this point. His hand went down to my core to feel me. He was going to move his hand but I grabbed his wrist and pushed his hand back to where it was, where I needed him. "Don't stop. Fuck. Don't " Its really hard to form a complete thought when he's like this with me.

Some one had cleared their throat causing him to stop his movement. I wasn't aware someone was on the boat. Elliot motioned for me to get up so that he could see what the problem was. I sat back down covering my self with the blanket.

"What's wrong?" I asked when he came back.

"Christian gave orders. We are not allowed to have sex on the boat. So they are to intervene. My brothers a fucking asshole. He of all people should know I need to have sex. Him and Ana fuck every other fucking hour." My jaw drops. "What? Ana may have this sweet face but she liked to fuck and get fucked. The proof of that is that four month baby."

"Don't be jealous."

"I am jealous. " I roll my eyes at him standing up. "Where are you going?"

"Well you just said we can't have sex on the boat. So take me home I'm tired. And so are you." We made our way back to the car. He was telling me about how some of the guys got in a fight because some trespassing incident. The guy was drunk and took a swing at one of his employees, but he ended up in the the hospital. Since it was Elliot's site he was being held responsible for the problem. Most of his day was spent in the hospital trying to talk to the police. But he got a hold of his dad and they let him leave at around 1 am. He then went to his house and when he realized I wasn't there he drove to my house. He spent an hour outside calling Christian to make sure The Grace was still available to us. The boat was but he said Elliot was fucking crazy if he thought he could wake up Gail to make dinner again.

On the way home we stopped at Elliot's so he could get some clothes for tomorrow. Since Isabelle was away for the night he agreed to sleep at my house tonight.

"Tired?" He was on the couch laying down as soon as we walked in. He threw his bag on the floor which kind of bothered me because I was a neat freak when it came to my house. I sat on the edge of the couch next to him pulling my hair out of the braid I had it in. He sat up and ran his fingers through my hair. I leaned my forehead against his for a moment before I kissed him. It was slow but I wanted more. I need him today. I knew that I had to tell him the truth about Damien and this would be one of the last chances I would get with him before he left after I tell him. I didn't want to waste any more time.

I broke our contact to stand up. He watched me then took my hand when I stretched it out for him. He stood up looking confused. He must have thought we weren't going to be together that way tonight. I leaned up to kiss him and he met me half way. I started walking backwards to my bedroom with out breaking the kiss. He knew what was going to happen. I pulled off his shirt and he stated undoing the buttons on mine. I closed my bedroom door when we walked in and pushed him on my bed. Most of the time we were aggressive with each other but we didn't need to be this time. I unbuttoned his jeans and pulled down his zipper but he was sitting so they weren't coming off. With me standing in front of him he took his time kissing every part of my upper body. My face, my neck, my stomach. He started to remove my leggings but had to stop because I had boots on. The zipper got stuck on one of my boots. "Fucking shit. Does this always happen?" I shook my head. I watched him struggle for a while long until I started laughing. He was not amused. He was on a mission. "Can I just pull it off with out zipping it all the way down?"

"No my feet won't fit." I sat up and tried to help him. "Fuck. It is stuck."

"No shit! I wasn't trying to be funny. Stop laughing. Can I just rip these. Or cut them?"

"No! These are my favorite."

"I'll get you new ones."

"No just relax baby." I pulled the zipper up then slowly pulled it down. That did the trick. Elliot grabbed the boot and threw it across the room. Then he, as patiently as possible, pulled the other boot off. He was very impressed he could undo it without help. I couldn't stop laughing at this point. I pulled him to me and kissed him while I smiled. He finally had me naked.

"It's not fair, you have clothes and I don't." He got the hint and took his pants and shoes off quickly. He leaned forward pushing me onto the bed. I felt his erection on the inside of my thigh. His hands made their way to my breast and palmed them slowly. My hand made it's way to his length and positioned him at my entrance. "Not yet baby I want you to be ready." His voice was husky. I grabbed his hand to show him how ready I was. I didn't need anymore foreplay. I've had enough teasing the last few weeks I just wanted to feel him.

"I'm ready for you please Elliot." I pulled at his bottom lip with my teeth. I started moving his hard dick against my clit and put the tip inside me. I knew he had lost all thought about control. His hips moved forward and my body had to adjust to his length. "Fuck.. You feel so good. So tight." I asked him to start moving. He moved slowly and kissed me. His mouth moved to my jaw then my neck. My hands went to his back and pulled him toward me. The moment he pulled my leg higher against him my moans got louder and he went deeper. I moved my hips to meet his. Our hand were intertwined above my head as he kept moving. I flexed my muscles with him inside me, he started moving faster. "Oh..." He felt so good inside me. His forehead was glistening from thrusting for so long. I didn't know how much longer I could hold on. I tried to contain that feeling of complete euphoria but his movements and his groans were becoming too much. Too erotic. I needed release. "Let go baby." I looked into his eyes and he was struggling as much as I was. He wanted us to cum together. I felt him release inside me and I let go. Our bodies shaking from release such sexual frustration we were having. He kept thrusting as my orgasm stopped.

The moment he stopped my body was completely sensitive. I expected him to pull out but instead he rolled us over with him inside me. I lay completely on top of him with my legs on either side. His hands were moving up and down my spine. I focused on his hand and how calming that touch was. My eyes closed for a second as my breathing evened out. "I love you." He said. I opened my eyes to see his face. I shifted my body so that I could kiss him. "It could be like this everyday." I looked at him questioningly. "Move in with me." I rested my head on his chest with out saying anything. He played with my hair as I thought.

"Yes" I whispered quietly. He must have been asleep because he didn't say anything.


	16. Chapter 16

**I do not own Fifty Shades. Thanks for reading, following and reviewing.**

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"Hey" Elliot was watching me sleep.

"Hi. How did you sleep?" I asked him.

"Not bad."

"Yeah your bed is definitely better than mine. We'll sleep there from now on. You could go to sleep again I know you were up for twenty-four hours yesterday."

"No I'm okay I very awake." He pressed his erection to my thigh making me giggle. I quickly pushed him against the bed and straddled him. His hands were above his head. I thought I had the upper hand but I was wrong. He weighed nearly a hundred pounds more than me and was mostly muscle. The fact that he was almost a foot taller than me didn't help. He quickly pinned me down. I pouted. I was looking forward to being on top. "Right now I just want to be the dominant here. Later you can fuck me any way you want." He started licking my neck. And rubbing my thighs. I was lost with him. I had no sense of time. Not that it mattered. All I thought about was his mouth and his hands. When I was ready I felt him enter me and it was better than last night. It wasn't because he was faster now, it was like that with Elliot. Everyday would be better than the last. We might get into small arguments but I felt so complete with him. So full. In every way possible.

He made me think that maybe there would be a chance that this could work, that he could still love me. He gave me hope. In myself, in marriage, in family. Before I met him I was empty. He made me think of things that I haven't thought were going to happen to me. I never really thought I would be remarried. No one thought of that. No one looks at their life and hopes they can find love twice. I could have with him what I didn't have in my last marriage. I was beginning to be so sure of our future. I just didn't want it all to come crashing down. I just needed to explain to him what happened and maybe he would forgive me for... Everything. For being a liar and keeping something so monumental from him. As long as Christian didn't say a thing to him I had a chance.

We were laying down in bed exhausted from our morning activities. It was slightly upsetting when he pulled out of me. I kind of wished we could have just stayed connected but that would be uncomfortable after a while. And we had things to do. We kept kissing each other a bit we wouldn't do more than that. I was sore. It has been over two years since I had sex.

"What are you thinking?" I asked. My hands were on his abs. He may have thought I was just caressing his skin but I just wanted to feel his defined stomach. His arms were very nice too. His shoulders, his back. Every part of him was just perfect.

"I'm trying to think of what to get Mia."

"For what? Is it her birthday?" I leaned on my elbow to look at him.

"I'm thinking if I take her shopping or just give her money of she'll watch Isabelle for the rest of the weekend. I'll give her money. I'm not fucking shopping with her she takes hours. Shit." He was really trying to figure something out. My phone started ringing. "It's been going off all morning. Your mom, some one named Virginia, some Mark guy and Andy called. You are a busy girl I thought you were just messing with me." My phone was on his bedside table so I had to reach over him. My breast must have been in his face because he started biting my skin. I know if I moved his mouth would release my skin but I loved how his tongue circled my skin. When my phone rang again I moved. He was laughing at my inability to control my pleasure so I hit his chest.

"Lina Reid speaking." I said without checking caller ID.

"Where are you? I've called you all morning. I thought you were going to come help set up early. I'm freaking out it's almost time and I have nothing done. Lina seriously I hate to be a bitch but what's going on?" Andy was throwing a party for her daughter today. My god-daughter. I agreed to help her pick up some stuff for the party.

"Relax I said I'd be there by 12 and the party doesn't start till three. Isn't Mark there?" I said. Not that it mattered Mark was basically useless with these things unless the task was to move furniture around. A true man's man. No creativity all muscle.

"It's one-thirty Carolina! And you were going to pick up the food. I don't mean to yell at you I just really thought I could count on you for this." I looked at my phone it was 1:38. I was supposed to pick the food and cake up at 11.

"I'm so sorry. I'll pick it up right now. And get to your house. I'll get ready there when the setup is done. I'm hanging up now. I'll see you soon." I hung up before she yelled at me more. I looked at Elliot. "I have to go. And you do to because a two-year old I know thinks you're cute and I'd promised to take you as her birthday present." I got up with the sheet wrapped around me. He wasn't getting up though. I knew my house was cold so I pulled at the blankets on the bed until he was completely bare. I took a moment to enjoy the view.

"Oh so you need me to do something for you." He was now standing in all his glory with his arms crossed. "What do I get out of it?" He thinks he has something on me. I mirrored his stance smirking.

"I'll make you a deal. You go to this thing with me today and pretend to have fun for mine and Emily's sake..." He tilted his head waiting for me to continue. "And I'll move in with you." His jaw dropped. I smiled. Victory for Reid. It's moments like these when I can completely shock Elliot Grey that make me feel so in control in this relationship.

"Alright. Well you think about it and I'm going to change." Right as I turned I saw him react. He came up to me lifting me off the ground. He kissed me over and over. Smiling. I started laughing. "Is that a deal or no?" I said while giggling.

"Very funny. I love you baby."

"I love you too but we don't have time I'm already late. We can continue this tonight."

"At our house?" I nodded kissing him one last time before closing the bathroom door to change. If the bathroom door remained open he would just walk on in and I'd never make it to Emily's.

We walked down to my two car garage that was attached to my apartment. "Do you share the garage?" Elliot asked when we walked in to get my car.

"No it's all mine. Why?"

"You have a Bentley?" Oh right? The car that I bought in my moment of anger.

"Um yea I don't really use it much it's too flashy for me."

"No offense but how did you-"

"I have money. My grandparents had a trust fund for us grand kids and when I graduated college I bought the car. I rarely use it. I think I'll use it today. It's been sitting here for days." That wasn't the complete truth. I did get money from my grandparents but the car didn't come from that. I'll tell him tomorrow. I never really knew what my grandparents did but I knew they had money.

"Okay I'll see you and Izzy at 5 ish at Andy's." He kissed me."and um can we have dinner tomorrow just us. Andy can take care of Izzy I just really want to talk to you about something."

"Yea. Is it about you moving in? Because you made a deal. Can't back out now."

"No it's not that. Ok I'll see you later. I love you." He kissed my lips.

"I love you too." He had his hands on my butt.

"Seriously I have to go. I love you. Laters." I pushed him away but not before he slapped my behind. I didn't even protest. I didn't care.

I made it to Andy's in an hour. She was freaking out as usual but we were able to set everything up. I didn't know half the people there but they must have been from all her mommy and me classes.

"So I'm going to tell him tomorrow?" I said to Andy.

"Why what changed?"

"He asked me to move in. I don't want to lie to him."

"That's good. You have to trust that he will listen. He might get mad though since you waited a while to tell him about Damien." She was usually very blunt with me even if she knew it would hurt my feelings.

"Yea I know. But it's not like I go around telling every hey I was married. Because then they ask what happened and I don't like to talk about that. You need to get more beer by the way. Mark and the other guys here finished this case."

"Well if he doesn't take it well you'll always have me."

"I know I'm just worried about Isabelle. If he doesn't take it well I won't see her again." There was nothing she could say. I didn't want to think about how crappy things would get when I told him. I didn't want to lose them. But ultimately it would be up to Elliot.

When Elliot got there Isabelle stayed by my side for a while. "You don't want to go outside?" I asked her. She was following me around. I didn't mind but my conversations were not interesting to her. She shook her head. "How was school yesterday?"

"It was good. We learned stuff like abcs and we have to make a house from sticks. Can you help me?"

"Yes I can. But we could ask Elliot he probably knows how."

"How to what?" Elliot asked. Elliot sat down on Isabelle's other side. He started messing with her hair. He knew it bugged her when people messed it up but he just laughed. I smacked his hand away.

"Leave her hair alone. She wants to make a house for school out of sticks. I told her you could help because you build stuff."

"Oh yeah sure. We can do it tomorrow. Why didn't you ask me first?"

"Because she likes me better." I said when I pulled her on my lap. She put her arms around me.

"Really?" Elliot said in a teasing voice. She giggled and squirmed away as he tried to tickle her. When he stopped she nodded her head. He pretended to be hurt.

"You made him sad." I whispered to her.

"You made him sad." She told me.

"Maybe we should just tell him we love him and we're sorry so he won't be said." She nodded her head and jumped into his lap sitting on one of his legs. I followed and sat on the other one. I put my arm around his shoulders while his hands went around our waist.

"I'm sorry I love you." She hugged him as much as possible, laughing the whole time.

"It's okay I love you too kid." Her face lit up and she put her arm around him. Well she tried to but she was too small.

"I'm gonna eat candy now can you let go?" He hugged her tighter making her laugh. "Ok laters daddy." She skipped away.

"Daddy?" I said to him.

"I don't know. She started calling me that today. It was probably Mia's doing." He said casually.

"Probably but you know you know you like it."

"Shut up." He said pushing me off the couch to the floor. He started laughing at me but I could tell he was happy with his and Isabelle's relationship. I got and sat on his lap. "So are you going to bring your things over?"

"I... well... yeah I just have to figure out what to do about my apartment. My lease ends in six months but I don't care."

"Well just let me know and I'll help you move your things baby." He kissed my neck and I couldn't focus again. His hands were making their way up to my ribs inside my shirt. His hands were cold from the beer he was holding. He pulled his hand back when I moaned involuntarily. "Later." He said. I nodded and he went back to were Mark was. I was glad him and Mark were getting along.

"You moved on fast." I was in the kitchen when Derrick approached me.

Derrick was Damien's best friend and cousin. He was a groomsmen in our wedding. He was the person that blamed me most for what happened in Brooks. He was three years older than me and the reason most of us moved to Seattle. When ever he visited in the summer he would work for Andy's dad's store. I remember him telling us how great Seattle was. It was a big city with parties every weekend. Being from such a small town any town would sound appealing but he made Seattle sound amazing. It is great but after college the parties stopped for me and my friends. But that's what happens when you get married. He was the main reason we all came to Seattle for school including Damien. He was invited today because his wife worked with Mark. I didn't mind. As long as he left me alone I didn't care what happened. He had a habit of telling me how much he hated me.

"You don't know what you're talking about." I didn't give him a chance to reply because I went to Isabelle. She dropped cake on her shirt so I had to help her change. I always carried extra clothes for her. Elliot didn't see the need. He said she was older so she can control herself. But I finally got the chance to say "I told you so". He, of course, rolled his eyes but I didn't care. I passed by Derrick again and he was staring at me. During the rest of the day he looked at Elliot a lot too. But Elliot didn't say anything.

I was glad the day went by without incidents. Karen, Andy and I were cleaning up after everyone had gone home. Well Karen just bitched about her pregnancy while Andy and I cleaned and listened to her. Elliot came in carrying a sleeping Isabelle.

"Here I'll take her you can get your car. Or my car?"

"Your car." He said smiling. He handed Isabelle to me.

"Can you watch Isabelle tomorrow so I can go to dinner with Elliot." I asked Andy before he walked away. If I asked her I front of him then she would say yes.

"Are you fucking kidding?" Derrick shouted. Mark walked in and took Isabelle from me so his yelling wouldn't wake her. I wish Elliot would leave. "You're fucking him. You're still married. You married my cousin! And you're just gonna fuck anyone who gives you the time of day!" I couldn't even look at Elliot. I didn't want to.

"I'm not. It's not... " I took a step back.

"You're married?!" Elliot exclaims. I'm no good at confrontation. I freeze up. I don't want to yell. It's been a while since I lost my temper and I don't want to lose it now.

"You didn't know? Of course you didn't. This gold digger probably never told you. Did she tell you about how she married him in like 5 minutes."

"What's he talking about?" Elliot said. I couldn't focus on him all I could see was Derrick. He hated me. I didn't blame him. I avoided him as much as I could because I knew that it would be hard on him to see me move on when his best friend couldn't.

"But I guess she didn't have to tell you because she's not married. He's dead." He said looking at Elliot. "And it's her fault. You're the reason he died. He died because of you. He's been gone for 5 minutes and you move on to have your own fucking happy family while he's rotting six feet under. He loved you Carolina. For you to just forget him so easily that's fucked up to him. You can't even honor his memory at all. I bet you were crying at the funeral because you were so damn happy! You got what you wanted. He's dead-"

"Shut up! You don't know anything! It wasn't my fault he died. He was _my_ husband and you think I don't miss. We were going to have a family. I did everything for him. It was an accident I had nothing to do with his death and you know it. Everyone knows it. Everyone just needs some one to blame and I'm the only who _you_, and most of your family, can blame it on. I'm the one that lost her husband, not you so don't fucking come to me and tell me I didn't care. I still care. Just because he's not here doesn't mean I don't miss him. I loved him. I still do." I was screaming so loud that Isabelle woke up. She along with every one was looking at me. When he didn't say anything I was glad. This argument was over. I took my bag out of the counter and left. I was vaguely aware of Andy behind me. Or I think it was Andy I didn't look back. I knew Elliot wasn't the one behind me. I just wanted to be with him. But that wasn't going to happen now. I got in my car and drove. I was going to our old house the one Damien and I lived in briefly before we moved to Brooks. It had a new owner now but I just needed to see it. It had all good memories. Unlike my house in Brooks. My "dream house" in Brooks was tainted.


	17. Chapter 17

**I want to thank everyone who has read and followed this so far. This chapter should clear up any questions about Damien. If something is unclear let me know so I can clear it up in later chapters. Everything is about Lina's past so there is no Elliot. Unfortunately. It also kind of jumps around so I hope nothing is confusing. Don't forget to review. **

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"Don't cry." Andy said as she and my mom tighten the corset on my dress.

"I'm not going to cry. I'm just nervous." And I couldn't breathe. But my breathing, or lack of, was coming from this dress that was way too tight. I wanted it tight though so I couldn't complain.

"Damien loves you Lina you have nothing to be nervous about. You should be excited. Ok the dress is done we just need the veil." My nerves were because this wedding was so big. I just didn't want to trip down the aisle or something.

My mom hadn't said anything to me in a while. She was pretty emotional. I thought she was emotional when Damien proposed but no. Not compared to today. I know we were fine on time. We had to go to the church in an hour and a half. We would do some pictures before we left, we had plenty of time. I looked at my mom and gave her a small smile. She turned around to wipe her eyes. I know she was happy for me but it was a big day today.

Andy walked in with the veil. It was a short veil. I didn't really like it because of the length but we didn't have time to order a new one that matched my dress. "Aren't you excited? You're getting married today! I'm so excited." She shook my shoulders making me laugh.

As they did the final touches on my hair, makeup, and put my veil on I looked at myself in the mirror. I had a very princess like dress. Since I was so short I had to wear huge heals so that I wouldn't look too short. I specifically asked for a corset back because I knew it would make me look smaller in my waist. You couldn't see my hips because the dress opened at the waist. Very big just like I always pictured it. It was completed with a jeweled belt. My hair was in an up do that took well over two hours because I kept changing my mind.

"Okay well you're ready. You look beautiful. Even more beautiful than when we were little and we practiced for our weddings." Karen said as she stood next to the door with Allie and my two sisters. I had a tear and Andy wiped it away before my make up messed up. "Ok let's give them some alone time. Your dad is at the church because he couldnt find your dumb brothers. No offense." She said to me. My brothers threatened that if I made them wear a suit they would be late. The little brats did good on the threat and disappeared the night before but dad would find them, we had a plan for when they pulled shit like this.

"You look so pretty little girl. You're getting married at 22. I already had two kids at that age. They were in one pregnancy but two is two no matter how they happen. He did good with that ring it's beautiful on you." She was running the brush through her hair so she wouldn't have to look at me.

"It's Damien's mother's ring. He got it when his parents died. said that it was meant for the oldest child's bride. So now it's mine."

"Yes I know Mrs. Nash, his mom was always very proud of that ring. You should be too. You'll be a Nash forever now. No more Reid for you. I'm happy for you. You've always been a good person so I hope you know how proud I am to be your mother. And in a few years I'll be proud to be the grandma to your kids... You're gonna be a good momma, baby." I nodded my head. Having so many sibling was hard on me. My mom was away working and anytime she and daddy had off was spent with the twin boys or the younger girls. I had a serious case of middle child syndrome. "I know you're happy with Damien and he's a good man. He'll make you happy and he will give all the attention we never gave you. I'm sorry I didn't spend so much time with you. I thought after you came home from college, you and I would be together but you have a life now away from here. Just remember that even when I'm far away or when you're far away you'll call even when something happens. I love you little girl. Let's go someone is waiting for you at the end of the aisle." We hugged until the rest of the girls came in and they yelled at me and momma for crying before the pictures.

"I promise this till death do us part." I said when I slipped the ring on Damien's finger. I could feel Andy giving me a death glare for crying but it's my wedding so I can cry all I want. I was in complete bliss when I kissed my husband for the first time. It was a short kiss because we were in front of 200 people and it was a church. It was a traditional wedding.

"Your look beautiful." Damien said as we danced. "You know the first time person to tell me to marry you was my mother." My head snapped up. He didn't talk about his parents unless they were brought up by someone else. "My mom and I went to your parents Fourth of July party when I was like 12, that's when I had just moved here. You were dancing with your dad. I was looking at you, mom said that in ten years that I would be where your dad was."

"You never told me this."

"I didn't want to tell you until she was right."

"Is that why you married me to fulfill your mothers prophecy?" I raised an eyebrow at him before laughing.

"That's part of it. She would have loved you. But that's not the only reason I married you. I married you because funny and caring, you can be a handful at times but I've always liked a challenge. You're also sexy, plus the sex, we have great sex." He had a full smile today. It was beautiful to see. Damien was always a bit serious so I tried to joke with him once in a while. My earlobe was now being sucked on by my husband. In my mind I knew he should stop because we were in a room full of people. So I just smiled, laughing at how comfortable he was today. He then moved over to my neck and I pushed him away.

"We can do that later. Let me enjoy this wedding now. This is the only wedding we will ever have. We have the rest of our lives for just us. We can do that all we want for the next two weeks in Paris. Just me and my very sexy hot fireman husband." I winked at him before kissing him again.

"I love you honey." Before I could respond his lips crashed into mine and I was lost in the feeling of my husband.

We had to cut the cake, do our first dance, toss the bouquet. I was just ready to get on with the night and be alone with my husband. It wasn't our first time having sex but it was perfect. Everything was nice and slow.

We moved back to Seattle after the wedding was over and with my trust fund money we bought our house. After years, Damien and his brothers were able to get their inheritance from their parents. For recently graduated adults were off well financially.

We were in the honey moon stage for our entire marriage. The difficult times came when I was pregnant.

"Open it." I told him when he got home. He had a long day and was in no mood for my games. He didn't even want to talk to me but I was telling him today so he better get on board with my plans.

"Carolina can't we do this another day." He was really irritated with me but I wasn't budging. He opened the box to reveal a positive pregnancy test. "Is this real?"

"Of course it's real why would I do this if it's not? I know we just agreed to try to have a baby but well we're having a baby!"

"How far along are you?"

"Almost three months. I found out a few weeks ago but I didn't get it confirmed by the doctor until today." He kneeled I front of me and kissed my stomach. Until I stopped him so he could give me that same attention.

"You went to the doctor?"

"Yes just to see if the test was right and we did an ultra sound. But the pictures I printed out I left at work I'll bring them tomorrow." I was so excited to just get home to my husband I couldn't focus on anything.

"Well I want to know next time you go. I want to be there okay. That explains all the sickness the last few weeks. Are you okay though? Nothing wrong?"

"Don't worry so much honey." I touched the stubble on his face. "So far I gained weight which is good. My blood pressure is a bit high but in just have to remain stress free and I'll be okay. Don't worry just be happy." I giggles at my choice of words. I always sung that song to him. He rolled his eyes. "We're having a baby!"

We went to the doctor at my fifteen weeks of pregnancy. That's when it really set in that we would have a baby. We were going to have to somehow raise a baby. We were about to turn twenty four. We were ecstatic though.

"So I was thinking" he said to me at dinner a few weeks later. " I love Seattle and I know you love it but have you ever thought about maybe going to Brooks. To live again." I stopped eating to look at him. Where was this going?

"No I haven't thought of it why? Do you want to go back?"

"I just think that that would be a better place to raise our family. I always said home is where you are, that's true nothing has changed. I just think our childhoods were good there and we have family there. I know you and your mom want yo be closer, relationship wise, and what better way than bonding over a new baby,"

"I'll have to talk to Andy but-"

"Why do you have to talk to her this is about us and our future the three of us. Why should she get a say."

"Why are you getting mad. I always talk to her about stuff." It didn't make sense why he was getting riled up about this.

"You can just talk to me I'm your husband. What we do, you and me, in our life and in our marriage doesn't have to have Andy's seal of approval." He pushed his plate away.

"What is so bad about talking to her she's my friend I know it's not her business but I just want her opinion on this is that so bad? Why are you mad at her!"

"I'm mad at you not her. You're my wife and I'm your husband. There doesn't need to be a third person here so I don't see why you need to discuss everything with her. Im going to work." He didn't even kiss me goodbye.

I did tell Andy everything but it's because I liked to talk to her. Besides Damien, she was my best friend.

That night I woke up in the middle of the night. There was blood. I was no doctor but I was sure that blood was a bad sign when you were pregnant. I drove to the hospital since I felt fine and Damien came in a few minutes later. He kissed me and held my head between his hands.

"Everything is fine I just need to make sure I don't get stressed. You were right about today I'm sorry. "

"No I shouldn't have yelled at you. I'm worried about having a baby but I shouldn't take it out on you and your friend. Sorry honey. I love you. I'm just glad you're okay."

We got home later that day. He carried me to bed so I wouldn't strain myself.

"I thought about what you said. We should go back raise our baby there, with our family." He sat on the side of my bed looking at me. He didn't think I would actually consider it. I got my bag and took my phone out. "This house is for sale. It has enough bedrooms, a yard with a fence and it's close to the fire station in Brooks. Plus it's has a few miles between my mom's house so we don't have to be with her all the time. It's perfect for us. I even called and if we sell our house we can afford it easily."

He tilted my head up again to kiss me. And that is how we decided to go back home.

"It really is perfect." I told Damien as we sat on our new, empty living room.

"Well I don't know about perfect but it's damn close. It will be perfect in a few days when every thing is ready. So I did get you a present so just close your eyes." Another surprise. I hate surprises but luckily Damien was always goo at picking out things that I would actually like. I closed my eyes and heard him mess with something where our fire place was. "Okay look."

Over the fire place was a canvas photo of us in our first official husband and wife kiss. I stared at I blankly for a few seconds. He came to sit with me on the floor again. My mouth spread into a smile. I threw my self at him causing him to fall back. My legs were on either side of his hips and I attacked his face with kisses.

"I got another one made for what will be the nursery. One of the pictures we took in Washington when you were showing your stomach to Andy is also being made into a canvas. It was beautiful. It's already ordered so you can't say no."

The next few weeks were centered on Damien starting at the station. He was a local, so he was welcomed easily. I took a long maternity leave. I would not be working for at least a year. So my job was to prepare the house for the baby. The last room to be painted was the nursery. But Damien took his sweet ass time finishing that up. No amount of nagging worked. When Mark, Derrick, Lisa and Andy later visited when I was almost seven months along, during Damien's birthday I nagged at Mark to finish my nursery. That worked. Mark was a pushover with pregnant women. And Damien couldn't have another man paint his baby's room so the guys finally got around to it.

"Okay don't walk in the nursery Derrick, Mark and I just painted it and I don't want you inhaling the fumes. Everything is done. The crib is built. You put away all the clothes last time so the only thing missing is the baby. Just don't walk in for a few days."

"Sure thing birthday boy." He rolled his eyes at me. He turned twenty-four today. I haven't given him his present but I know he would love it. I picked it out my self last week. I told Derrick about it and he asked if he could inspect it for me but that was an excuse to try out my husbands new motorcycle. I told him " the only person who will ever use that thing is my dear husband so no you can't even look at it." He wasn't too happy. I didn't care. Everyone was going to think I was crazy for giving him that for his birthday considering he was going to have a baby but he's been wanting one for years. He should enjoy it because next year he's getting a minivan. "So who's coming today?" I asked him as I finished the food. We were having a barbecue today for him and hopefully he liked him present.

"Just some guys from the station. My cousins. The usual. But I told them they are leaving by 9."

"Why. What's going on at nine?"

"I want to enjoy my birthday alone with my wife."

"Well Mark and Derrick left for now. This food can be finished later. We, I mean you can enjoy your birthday now." He smiled and stepped forward. With out another word his hands were on my waist. His hands were moving my dress up to feel the soft skin of my thighs. I backed away to start walking into the bedroom. The thing about pregnancy with me was that I was constantly horny. He took my panties off then entered me. No foreplay needed I was always ready. My stomach prevents me from missionary position so lately he had me bent over with my hands supporting me. He reached over to play with my clitoris. He kept moving and before I knew it I was shaking from the pleasure. He had released inside me. He stayed inside me while my body calmed down running his hands on my spine. When I was calm I turned to look at him. He rested his forehead against mine. We were breathing evenly now.

He had to help me get some pants on because I was past the point of seeing my toes. When we got downstairs everyone was there. Smiling at us. Shit, they must have heard me. They did hear because Allie was winking at me.

"Okay ready for your present?" I said as we walked to the garage. I wobbled. I was only seven months pregnant and was wobbling. I could only imagine what I would look like when I was in labor. Damien was next to me holding my hand. When we stopped in front of the garage I handed him the box containing the keys to his new bike, he had his hand on my belly. The baby was kicking like crazy today. Even when we had sex she wouldn't stop.

"She's moving a lot today. You okay?" He had a worried look on his face. There was always that fear in his mind that something would happen to me or the baby.

"Yea she's excited. Have you picked a name yet?"

"Yes it's on the envelope on the side of the crib. But you can't look yet. Not till she's born." I pouted. He didn't want me to see since there was a very real possibility I may not like it. A few guests had come out at this point. All smiling excitedly. Fucking Derrick told everyone.

"Surprise!" I said when the box was opened. I pushed the button on the remote to open the garage that revealed his new toy. He started laughing excitedly.

"Thanks honey." He was ready to try it out. I stepped forward and kissed him. His hand was on my stomach and then moved to my back. I didn't want to let go. I shouldn't have.

Our town was deserted. There were few cars on the roads especially by our house. We lived away from everything. He started riding faster as he got to the intersection. The intersection with no stop sign. The intersection we never stopped at. The left side of the intersection was covered with tall trees. They had thick branches so it was impossible to see the truck that was driving. It must have been impossible for my husband as well because he didn't see it. He didn't stop. The driver didn't either.

I couldn't see. Well I could see but it wasn't registering in my mind. There was no way he could make it. The truck was so big. Someone was talking to me but I couldn't hear them. Their face was there and their lips were moving but I didn't know what they said. I tried to turn towards where Damien was but they kept moving me. I felt numb. Everything was blurry. When I blinked it would become clear but the blurry thing kept happening. I walked to where there was noise. It was an annoying noise. Someone was screaming. Maybe it was me? No it was from my left side. I wish they would stop. Sirens. They were siren noises. It must be an ambulance. Good an ambulance that means he will be fine. He will go to the hospital and they will save him.  
They have to.

"Time of death 16:17" we were at the hospital. Derrick brought me. I think. I don't really remember but I remember Derrick's car. His car always smelled like pizza.

Time of death? I finally focused. Damien was dead. He died. He wasn't suppose to die. It's his birthday. Were having a baby. I walked forward. He was dead. "There has... Can't you do something? He can't be..." All the doctors said was no. The next few days passed slowly. I stayed at Allie's house so she could keep an eye on me while arrangements were made.

I hated the funeral. It was closed casket. I only saw his body briefly before they took my dead husband to the morgue. Beside the doctors and Derrick no one saw him. What was left of him. His face was covered in blood. "I'm sorry for your loss." Was a popular phrase for me that week. But it was better than "he would have made a great father." After the first person said that to me I started sobbing. I couldn't breathe. I had to be taken out of the church temporarily because all you could hear was me crying. He would never meet our baby. He didn't even get a chance to show me the nursery. Or tell me her name. I didn't know what to do. Why a was the point of living if he wasn't with me. But then I remembered I was pregnant. That was the only reason I had to live. Nothing else mattered. I decided to burry him next to his mother. His family wanted to cremate him but they would want to keep the ashes. This way we could all visit him at our own time.

There was something wrong with the breaks on the bike. It's wasn't the truck. It was the impact from the truck but the brakes were messed up. If they hadn't been messed up he would have stopped and he wouldn't be dead. As soon as the report on the death reached my parents and Damien's grandparents they filed a lawsuit against the company. I didn't care. What's the point. My only focus was the baby. The only thing I had left of him. The lawyers said we had a good case. Since I bought the motorcycle at a well know dealer in Nashville they wanted to keep it quiet. They didn't want people to know they had a faulty product. So they settled.

That's all it was, a faulty product. People could ask me how did your husband die? Oh a faulty product. I fucking faulty, fucking product.

Shit really hit the fan when the company agreed to pay 10 million to the next of kin of the victim. That was me. That's what his life was worth 10 million dollars. I had money so I didn't need it. But Damien's grandfather wasn't pleased. I would inherit Damien's share of his parent's money with the ten million. His grandmother was more understanding of the conditions set by the settlement. She didn't blame me. The rest of Damien's family did. Derrick being a complete grandpas boy turned against me. He started saying how I had planned his death. That was what hurt. I would walk around the town and I could hear the whispers. They all believed Derrick. He was the grieving family and I was the gold digging whore who got pregnant so Damien wouldn't leave. People really jumped from A to Z. My family tried to shut them up but they kept talking. I stopped listening.

When I received the money I bought the Bentley. Damien always said that when we had money he would buy a Bentley. He was was a man obsessed with his toys. That's why buying him that motorcycle seemed like such an appropriate gift. I bought it because I knew Damien life long wish was to own one. People then speculated that I was responsible for the accident. I killed him so that I could have his money. I staged perfectly so that when he died I would get money from a lawsuit. I was a gold digger. Except that I needed him dead.

I tried to offer his family half the money. They didn't want if from me though. They thought I was treating them like a charity case. I didn't really understand them. If in the lawsuit they got money then it was theirs but when I offered it to them they were offended. It was money all the same. Blood money.

I wasn't able to go home after the accident. I couldn't stand the thought of being alone. I stayed at my parents house. Mom and dad went on a marriage retreat with the church one week so I was left alone. I wasn't eating much after he died and if I did it was usually only bites that I was forced to eat. When they were gone I stopped eating all together. My sibling didn't talk to me because they didn't know what to say. I was very grateful for that, I didn't want to talk to any one. During my first seven month of pregnancy I gained fifty pounds. That was more than I needed in my entire pregnancy because I was so short. I lost 28 pounds in my last month of pregnancy. I gave my teenage sisters permission to go to a sleepover with their friends when my parents were gone. I also told my brothers that if they wanted they could borrow my car to go out. My parents had tried to confine them to the house, to me, the last few weeks on my account. I didn't care. I was finally alone.

I tripped on the stairs but I didn't feel any pain so I wasn't worried. I had serious déjà Vu when I woke up in the middle of the night. I think I was having contractions. But I wasn't it was pain real pain on my stomach. I remember watching a birthing video where the mother was breathing rapidly. I tried that. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. I did that for a few minutes. I got up from the bed to turn on the light. I tried anyways. When I stood the pain was too much and I was on the floor clutching my stomach. Something was definitely wrong. There was blood on my sheets, down my legs. Too much blood. I should call Damien, I thought. I began to feel light headed as I crawled to a different room. Since I didn't live at home my parents took the home phone from my room and installed it into my sister, Virginia's room. I got to her room and dialed his number. He didn't answer. My vision was blurry. My baby I have to save my baby. I called Allie. She picked up.

"The blood. The baby. Damien won't pick up." I was crying. She said she would be over soon. Well I think she did because I was in complete darkness.

"Little girl" my mother had tears in her eyes. I looked at my slightly deflated stomach.

"The baby?"

"Oh baby, let's get the doctor okay?" I nodded my head. Please have my baby be okay.

"Mrs. Nash. When you came in you had lost a lot of blood. Luckily it didn't compromise your health too much. We gave you a transfusion but you seem okay." I bit my lip. He grabbed my hand. This was the doctor that was going to deliver my baby. He met with me a Damien at our last ultrasound. "You weren't in great shape Lina. You lost a helluva lot of weight and you already had complications. We had to do a Caesarian. That was about twelve hours ago. The baby has been in an incubator but there isn't much we can do. The lungs aren't developed the lack of nutrients added to the inability for her to develop properly the last few months. I'm afraid she won't live for too long."

"It's a girl?" He nodded. "Can I see her?"

They wheeled me to where she was. She was so small. A little raisin. I always thought newborns were like raisins. But she was definitely the cutest raisin I've even seen. The handed her to me which was hard considering she had so many wires attached. Her entire body was from my shoulder to just under my breasts.

"Oh god... She's all I have left of him." I buried my nose into her little neck. She was so new, so weak. "How long can will she..." I asked while I focused on her new baby scent.

"A few minutes." Her heart beat was getting slower and slower.

"She's all I had left. I love you baby." I looked at her face. She had his nose. And his lips. She was so beautiful. I touched her hand and placed my finger inside her little palm. Reflectively she squeezed. I wanted to desperately close my eyes but if I did I would miss the very few minutes that I get with her. "There's nothing you can do? Anything?" I looked away from her for just a moment. The doctors shook their head. I stopped looking at her for a second. I lost a whole second of seeing her. I tried to control my breathing so that when she was on my chest, my chest wouldn't be shaking from me hyperventilating.

After fifteen minutes she had a cough kind of breath. I looked at her again. She did that three times. Then her heart stopped. The nurses quickly turned off the equipment so I wouldn't hear. But I did. "No! She's all I had." I cried to the little body for as long as they let me.

"Little girl, they have to take her now. It's been a while." My mother pulled my arms.

"Lina?" Andy my best friend. She came. She was at the funeral but after a week she had to go back home. "Let them take care of her. It's gonna be okay. She's gonna be with her daddy."

"I miss him." My hands weren't moving.

"He misses you too. You have to be strong for him. Let me take her."

"Momma? Take good care of her." I said as I gave my newborn child's lifeless body to my mother. The only nurse I trusted with heart. Before I let go I kissed her forehead one last and final time. "I'm sorry I couldn't take care of you. Daddy will take care of you now. Tell your daddy I miss him little girl." My mother took her and walked away. I don't know where. "Andy," I cried on my best friends shoulder that night. I went home two days later and Andy stayed with me. I cried on her shoulder every night for the next week.

We buried my infant daughter right next to her dad exactly two months after he died. No one went it was just me. I didn't even tell anyone. It broke my heart more when I saw that there was only one date on the tombstone. I decided her favorite flowers were daisy because that was going to be her name.

Arizona Daisy Nash.

What was he thinking? No wonder he didn't want me to see it.

"What are you doing?" I asked my brother.

"Nothing. Do you need help with something?" Even though he was older than me by a year he still looked so young. All my siblings felt very guilty for going out that night. So they did everything to help me.

"Yes I need you and the girls to go to my house and bring my clothes over in my suitcases." He did that right away with no questions asked. They were back a few hours later.

"Okay let's eat." Daddy said at dinner. Ever since the Arizona, our meals became quiet.

"So I'm leaving. I got a job and my plane leaves tonight. Can you guys drive me to the airport." I said. No one was eating.

"What about your house?"

"Allie is gonna take care of it for me." I put my silver wear down. "I can't be here. The Nash's hate me. I can't have them keep starring the way they do. I'm not selling the house and I can afford to live pretty much anywhere. I just have to get away for a while." I said sighing.

"Of course we can drive you. What's gonna happen to your car. The barley."

"The Bentley. Andy is coming in a few weeks and Mark is gonna drive it to me on his way back I just can't sit in a car too long I'll start to think and I have to stop thinking for a while."

"Well okay. I know you're not gonna say where you heading right?" Daddy asked. I shook my head. "Well then make sure you write. Or get an email so we can talk with you. I understand your need to leave but don't forget us."

"Thanks so much for everything you've done. You have no idea how much you mean to me." I wiped my tears. "I don't know when I'll come back but when I settle somewhere I'll send you all a plane ticket so you can visit and momma you can clean my house." We all got a chuckle out of it. The rest of the night was pretty much like any other.

My bags were in the car and we were all going to the airport.

"Actually can you stop by my house for a bit." Everyone seemed surprised. My sisters Virginia and Montana came in with me.

I got I front of our fireplace and started stepping on the floor until I heard the creek. I bent down and asked Montana to get a knife. I rolled the carpet back and took out the board. Out of my pocket I took out the jewelry box Damien gave me when he gave me my engagement ring. I took one last look at the ring then slipped it off my finger. "I hope when you are older you can find a man half as good as my husband. If you find him marry him. It will be the best thing you ever do. No matter what happens." The ring belongs to a wife of a member of the Nash family. I'm not a Nash anymore. I'm a Reid again. With the ring safely hidden in the house where we loved each other, I knew it was safe. I replaced the floorboard and carpet. I stood up feeling empty again.

Before I left I grabbed a picture of me and Damien on our wedding day. It was a small wallet size picture. But I knew that I would always remember what a beautiful love was like. I took one last look at my beautiful house then walked out, locked the door and was off. The entire plane ride was spent focusing on my empty finger. I had a ring for three years. Now I had no ring, no husband, no baby, no hope. I was ready to just let time carry on waiting for the day I see my family again.

I spent six months in Nebraska by myself. Then I moved to Seattle again so I could help my best friend with her toddler. I found a great sense of relief watching Andy. She had everything I wanted. I was jealous but she was a great person and she deserved it.

I lived my little family dream vicariously through her.


	18. Chapter 18

**I do not own Fifty Shades. Thanks for reading. And don't forget to review. **

* * *

The next two weeks after the incident at Emily's party passed quickly. I dedicated my self into my work. I worked more than I was suppose to.

"Hey Carolina I just wanted to apologize for Derrick's behavior the other day. I wanted to know if you and Andy wanted to get together for lunch sometime this week. You guys can bring your girls. Well anyways call me back." I heard that message or something like that on both Mondays after the party. I didn't call back I just sent her a message with some lame excuse. Lisa, Derrick's wife was actually very polite and was trying to make up for what her husband said. But there was no making up. Derrick just hated me I accepted that a long time ago. What he said was nothing he hasn't told me before so I should be used to it. I heard that from him and his grandfather.

Elliot didn't call in those two weeks. I called once the day after but he didn't luck up so I assumed that he was done with me. I had a few messages from Ana and a lot more from Mia but he didn't contact me. I checked my phone every hour specifically waiting for him to call and he didn't. I dont even know what happened after I left. I was so wrapped up in the memories of the last few days Damien and I had I couldn't focus on life.

"Mia?" It was the middle of the night and she came to my house. She looked terrible. Her clothes were drenched and her make up was running. She wasn't in her normal perfectly put together state. "Are you okay what's going on?"

"Can I come in?" I nodded my head.

"I'm gonna get you a towel and some dry clothes." She thanked me. When she got settled she started talking.

"So I told you about Luke. Well we went to dinner, my brothers, Ana, Isabelle and I. Well when I went to the bathroom I ran into Luke and he kissed me but it turned into a whole make out session in the bathroom. I didn't realize we took so long but Christian found us. Oh god he went ballistic," her head wad in her hands and she was crying. I just rubbed her back. "he grabbed Luke by the neck and slammed him into the wall. And he just started hitting him. Luke didn't even fight back. He didn't want to him my brother so he blocked him but I've never seen Christian so angry." It's his little sister of course he would be angry

"What happened with Luke? Is he okay?" She was shaking her head.

"I don't know Christian literally carried me out so I wouldn't see him. I knew he was going to be mad but I didn't know he would react so badly. He told me he was going to cut me off and he was going to fire Luke. I just want to know if he's okay."

"Well we can figure it out. Why don't you just call Luke so you can see where he is?"

"I don't have my phone. When Christian stopped at this stop light I got out of the car and left my phone with some coffee girl. I told her to give it to my brother when he went to ask for it. I knew he would just track me. I've had security 24/7 the past few weeks so it's impossible to get away." I had to smile at that.

"So I'm aiding a runaway?" She laughed despite her tears. I wrapped my arms around her for a second giving her a moment to cry.

"Hey don't worry about it. Why don't we just call the hospitals and find out where he is? I'll sign in as the guest and we can just go see him. How did you get here?" She walked. I looked at the shoes she was wearing. Poor Mia. She had on five-inch heals.

"What if he doesn't want to see me? I ruined it for him. He lost his job because of me. Why would he want anything to do with me. I'm just some brat."

"Don't say that about yourself. He would be lucky to have you."

"And you know what really bothers me? Elliot. All he did was agree with Christian. He was in the car talking about how terrible I am for lying. I've taken car of Isabelle for you the last two weeks and all he says is that I'm so immature. But I guess he's right. I just wanted him to be on my side with this. He's the one that told me I should dump Ethan." Elliot. His name sent shivers through me. I was glad she mentioned him. I wanted to know he was okay but I wouldn't bring it up.

"You're their baby sister Mia. I'm sure they won't like any guy you date. I'm sure things were just in the moment. Hopefully they'll get over things by tomorrow. Why don't you just watch some tv while I call around I'll let you know when I find him."

After calling three hospitals I found out that Luke was admitted in the hospital. They weren't able to tell me what was wrong. I was going to let Mia sleep but I knew she really needed to talk to him.

"Hey wake up." I shook her gently. "So Luke is at the hospital your mom works at. Do you want to go?"

"Shit yea I do. Have you called Elliot?"

"Let's go then. No I haven't why?" She yawned a few times.

"Just asking. I figured you would tell him where I am. I'm surprised you're not at his house." Elliot must not have said anything to her.

"Um we aren't really talking now." We were in the car and she was looking at me. It made me uncomfortable to have her look at me.

"What?"

"He found something out and he hasn't talked to me." She was waiting for me to elaborate. "I was married before. My husband... Died." It took me a while to find that word. "Well anyways I didn't tell him and he was upset. He hasn't called. I called him but he didn't answer so I just left it alone. I can take the hint. Don't say I'm sorry for your loss." It was raining out so the rain created a sort of calm atmosphere for me to tell her.

"Oh I'm sorry. Now I feel stupid. I'm at your house bothering you"

"Don't worry. You're not bothering me. I'm glad to help just because your brother hates me doesn't mean that I don't like hanging out with you."

"He doesn't hate you. He's just upset. Knowing Elliot, just give it a few days and he'll come back to you. That explains things though."

"What things" I looked at her.

"Well Isabelle was kind of upset at dinner. Before the fight. She was saying how she missed you. Elliot just got frustrated with her telling her you were busy. He kept saying to Isabelle that they will see you when you call them." Crap, I didn't even think about how it would affect her. I thought about her everyday but I figured since she was small that as long as she was entertained she wouldn't even notice I'm gone. That's what I kept telling myself anyways. "You should call I know you miss her."

"I think it would be awkward. I should just talk to Elliot first. You know clear the air. Okay we are here. Do I just drop you off for do we go in together."

"Together. That way you can sign in and Christian won't know I'm here to see Luke since he forbid it."

After lying to a few nurses saying we were Luke's sisters, wife, or what ever other relative we could think of we finally found his room. When we turned the hallway Mia slammed me into the wall.

"What the hell!"

"Sorry he has Taylor outside his room that means Christian is in there. If they see that we are out here they'll find me and drag me home. I just need to see him."

"Hold on I have an idea." Mia's face lights up. I call the only person I know who may have a chance of containing Christian Grey. "Hey Ana sorry to wake you up," Mia gives me the what-are-you-thinking face. I wave her off so I can talk. "Okay well listen I wanted to talk to sawyer but you husband is in the hospital room with him so do you think you could call and distract him for like twenty minutes please."

"Of course but why is it that you need to talk to Luke?"

"Mia is with me and she needs to talk to him."

"She's okay? Christian is talking to Sawyer because he is looking for her. Just make sure she calls him when she's done. I'll call him now. Laters." What's with the whole Grey clan and that word.

"Okay so we just hide until he leaves. Just wait in this room and they'll probably pass by." Taking Mia's arm, I pull her into an empty room waiting to see if Christian walks by.

"I don't have time to get you food Anastasia. My sister is missing and you think about ice cream... No Im aware you're pregnant. Ask Mrs. Jones to make you something. Then wake her up. Fine." Even in this stressful night it's hard not to laugh at the situation. I walk to Sawyer's room first to make sure no one is in there. I give Mia a wave and she runs over. This is all very childish.

I gave them time alone while I stood outside to keep guard. Not that I could stop Christian Grey when he came back but at least I could warn them so they wouldn't be in another compromising position.

I leaned on the wall and looked at my feet.

"Hi" I looked up at the person who grabbed my hand. I didn't really need to I knew that voice. I was more worried about Mia though.

"Elliot what are you doing here." I said in a loud voice.

"I came to talk to Sawyer. But I saw you..." Shit what do I say. He didn't let my hand go I really missed this contact. I missed him. It's only been two weeks and I was going crazy. "Lina what happened? The other day what was that guy talking about?"

I look down and bite my lip. "Nothing he was just..." He let my hand go.

"Don't start lying. Tell me, I deserve to know Lina. We were going to live together and I find out you're married. Are you married?" He was so angry with me and I didn't blame him but I just wish he wouldn't make me talk about it. But all I've been doing is lying to him. He deserves better than that.

"I can't talk about it."

"Why not?"

"I just don't. Elliot, please I just..." He rolls his eyes. I'm really testing his patience. I don't mean to.

"So that's it then, we're over?" He asks me. I look at him. I don't know what to say. I don't want to be done.

"If that's what you want. I can't stop you. It's up to you." Don't cry, I tell myself.

"No it's up to you. You're the one who is lying, or not telling me the truth. Just tell me so we can fix whatever is going on. Carolina say something!" I just stand there. He's ready to walk away.

"I love you." Because it's the only honest thing I can say to him right now. He sighs and begins to pull at his hair.

"Then talk to me." His voice is more calm now.

I shake my head as if that will clear my mind. I move my hand to wipe away the tears. I take a deep breath and look at him for a moment before looking at the floor again. "I don't talk about it. It was a hard time for me. Besides people who saw it happen, well I have never told anyone."

"Then just try and trust me,"

"I do trust you. Elliot I wouldn't be able to be in love with you if I couldn't trust you I just don't know where to start." He pulls my chin so that he can look at me. Before I know it his lips are on mine. How am I suppose to live with out him? I stand on my toes and open my mouth to him. His tongue is invading me. All I can think about is his mouth. His hands, which have moved to my hips. He pushes my hips back so that I'm against the wall. His hand moves to the door knob and I place my hand over his. "Someone is in there." I lead him to the room where Mia and I were just hiding. I kiss him slowly trying to enjoy this moment as much as I can. It could be our last. Before I know it I'm straddling him on the couch that's in the room. He slowly undoes each button on my coat until he can push it off my shoulders. I've never been so glad to forget a bra. I place his hands on my chest and lean back while he works me. He massages my breast then leans forward and kissed each nipple and sucks. My hands are at the back of his head trying to keep him there. He knows how much I love that. I lean forward to kiss him again. And our hands are at each other's back enjoying the closeness. I start moaning his name when he starts to suck on my neck. "I love you Elliot" I tell him in a husky voice. He kisses me again slowly before pulling back. I rest my forehead on his shoulder.

Just when it started getting heated there was a loud crash out side. We pulled back and someone was yelling. "Shit!" I said. Mia. God she's going to hate me. She gave me one job and I fucked it up. I pulled my coat back on while he asked what's wrong. I didn't answer I was too focused on getting back to Mia to see if there was something I could do.

There was a ton of nurses outside one of the rooms. It was 104. Shit something happened to Sawyer. Taylor was pulling Christian of Luke again and Mia was next to Luke crying. I tried to comfort Mia. They dragged Christian out of the room. Apparently he didn't hit Luke but the yelling was causing a disturbance.

"Lina can we drive him home?" Mia was looking at me. We waited a few minutes so that Christian would be out. By the time we were notified that he was out of the building Luke's discharge paper had arrived and we were ready to leave. I looked at Elliot and he was mad. I just kept things from him again. I can't blame him for hating me.

"I'm gonna get the car just meet me in the front." I walked out and he followed me.

"You knew Mia was here?"

I didn't stop walking. "Yes I did."

"Why didn't you tell me. Were you getting ready to lie again?"  
I stopped to look at him before walking again. I didn't know what I was going to say. That kiss was probably the best way to avoid having to lie about Mia but even in the back of my head I knew that that would have only worked for a moment. When the moment was over he was going to be pissed, and I was right.

"I wasn't sure. Mia asked me to bring her so I did. She then asked me to stand outside the door and watch for Christian so I did. Then you came. That's what happened. I didn't lie to you. I'm sorry if it seemed like I would." I sighed. I didn't want to hurt him but me not saying anything was starting to piss him off.

"You should have told me."

"I didn't know you were here for Mia." I lied.

"I came for sawyer and we both know it. Don't try and pretend that you didn't know. You've been with Mia all night so she told you about her and sawyer right?"

I stayed quiet. "Honestly," I looked at him, "she told me a few weeks ago when we went to dinner. But I told her I wouldn't say anything." He already caught me. If he is going to be mad I might as well put it all out there so that if there is a chance he might still love me I won't have to keep another lie going.

"Why didn't you say anything. You're my girlfriend and that's my sister." I was his girlfriend. I'm sure that was in the past.

"I didn't say anything because she asked me not to. And I'm glad I didn't because you and your brother are being dramatic. She's happy with some one. You both hated Ethan so when you and Kate broke up she ended it with him so it wouldn't be awkward for any one. When was the last time she dated some one Elliot?"

"I don't know, since her college freshman year. What does that-"

"She can't date anyone because no one is good enough for you so you scare them so they dump her and she feels like crap afterwords. That's hardly fair. I'm sure you and Christian get to go around Seattle fucking any and every girl you see but you treat Mia like a kid who can't even go out."

"We treat her like a child because she acts like one."

"Well have you thought that maybe if you treat her like an adult she'll act like one? She likes Luke, Elliot. She might even love him just be nice to him, for her. They've liked each other for a while but nothing happened because she was with Ethan. Now they can and you and Christian are ruining it for her." My voice was louder. It wasn't fair to Mia and if I knew if I wanted a second chance with him I should just cave to everything he wanted but I had to stand up for poor Mia. And he wasn't seeing how she was hurt by them being too protective. The problem was that they didn't care about her emotions.

We are standing next to her car now just looking at each other.

"I don't like you lying." He says to me.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you but she confided in me. You wanted me to befriend her so I did. I don't like lying to you either."

"Tell me what happened."

I let out a breath. I already told him. Why I have to repeat something is beyond me. "I already told you. When we went to dinner Mia-"

"Not about Mia. About your husband?" My husband. My mouth formed an o but then I closed it and started shaking my head. I was trying to push away any flash backs I might have.

"It's a long story."

"I want to know." I wish I could just tell him. So I could just fix this. Or at least just clear the air. "Lina if we are going to make this work, you have to be honest with me."

"You wont want me after I tell you." I don't think I could live with him not wanting me.

"You don't know that. Carolina you're one of the most genuine people I know, I don't think you could have done something horrible just try." He tries to get me to look at him again. He lifts my chin so I would look at him but I pushed his hand away and looked at the floor before looking at his eyes.

"It's a long story. If I tell you I want you to know the whole thing so it may take a while."

"I don't care."

"Have dinner with me this week and I'll tell you." I offer.

"What about tomorrow. I'll have Ana watch Isabelle so we can talk."

"Is that where she is now?"

"Yea after the dinner fiasco I wanted to see Sawyer and try to find Mia. So she offered."

We drove to the front where Mia and Luke were waiting. I've never seen Mia so quiet. Elliot grabbed her arm so he could talk to her but she pushed him away. She settled Luke in the back and closed the door.

"Mia..." He called her.

"Leave Elliot, you and Christian have done enough."

"Mia don't be a brat," he really does get that she's hurt. I try to avert my attention else where so the siblings can work it out.

"I'm not being a brat. Why do you have to ruin every good thing that happens. Can't you see that I'm happy with him." He doesn't take her seriously. "Why are you even here? Just leave and don't talk to me." She pushed him and was crying now.

"Why the hell are you crying. All he wants is to get into your pants." She slapped him. I moved and stopped her from hitting him again.

"Mia stop let's just go." I came and pushed Mia to the other side so she could sit in the back. "Elliot are you okay?" I was in shock. I rubbed his cheek to see if he was okay.

"I'm okay."

"Don't worry I'll take care of her okay. She's just mad, not that I blame her. Just give her time." I looked at Elliot. He was getting ready to leave. I thought about kissing him but we had so much to talk about. If I kissed him, he would think that we were okay but I know we are not. He stepped back and we drove away.

Reluctantly, Luke came to my house. I didn't mind it but he felt awkward considering he's never talked to me. When he was asleep in my guest room I talked to Mia. "Why did you have to slap him?" I was kind of mad that she did. I didn't like the idea of hitting people, it seemed rude regardless of what they do to you.

"I was mad. And he kept treating me like a child. I know I'm young but I love Luke and they won't leave me alone. Is it so bad that I want my space?" I forgot that she was only 21. I remember being that age and being in love. My story didn't turn out so well but it was still great. She deserved it too.

"I get that really I do but maybe in stead of hiding it you should talk them. Talk to your mom I bet she's freaking out about you not going home. Just call her and let her know you're here. Mia your family loves you it's just hard for them to let you grow up."

"Ana is my age."

"But you don't act like Ana." That didn't come out the way I wanted it too.

"What's that suppose to mean?" She shot back.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that. It's just that Ana is so serious. And you're not, but that's how you are. You're loud and talkative and you're fun to be around. Don't compare your self to her because then you'll never be happy with yourself. Can I ask you something?"

She nodded her head. "Why didn't you tell your mom? It's not like she would scare Luke away,"

"He's ten years older then me. And I wanted it to be serious. When we went out a few days ago we talked about telling Christian. Well we were going to tell my parents, then Elliot and Christian last but I just wanted time to prepare for it." I handed her a shot of tequila. I smiled at her and we laughed before we groaned at the taste. I always hated it but it made a nice buzz which was just what we needed.

"You still can just tell your mom tomorrow before Christian beats you to it."

"You know we should have invited Ana, we could have a nice little trio here."

"Yeah and make Christian hate you a little more?" She looks confused. "Well let's review: you date his employee and don't tell him. He finds you... How did he find you?"

"Luke's hands were in my dress." She blushes. Mia actually blushes. I didn't think that was possible. It could have been worst. "And he was taking something off my cleavage with his tongue." She winked at me. Still, not too bad of a position. We stared at each other before laughing.

"As I was saying, he finds you being felt up in the bathroom with said employee. You run out of a car,"

"It wasn't moving," I ignore that comment.

"And he can't find you. You ditch your security even after the Hyde incident. You walk four miles alone in the dark streets of Seattle. Then you go see the person he told you not to see, you call his wife to distract him. You slapped your other brother and now they are not talking to you. And you want to take away his new wife at night. They're probably having sex. Which is good for you because he'll calm down."

"Fine, fine. I get it not my best idea. And don't talk about Christian having sex I don't want to picture that. Who wants to know about their family's sex life?"

"Ok well do you want to know about Elliot because he's amazing in bed. Do you know how big his-"

"Shut up that includes Elliot. I don't need to picture it. When we were little he used to run around naked. It was funny watching my parents chase him around the house trying to get him to get dressed. He did that until he was like twelve. We have videos. I'll show you sometime." I laughed at that.

"Well let me tell you it's grown over the years." She threw something at me.

"Where were you today? When Christian came in. I got the whole Elliot being outside but did you leave?"

"I'm so sorry about that. I was talking to Elliot and we went to talk to the room we were hiding in and we were talking." I pressed my lips in a line.

"Talking?" She looked at me.

"Making out, same thing. " we yawned at the same time. "Well as much as I love talking to you Mia. I have a big day tomorrow so I'm going to bed."

"Yea me too. Thanks for doing this by the way. I know things are awkward for you and my brother but you still helped me out. Most people wouldn't. I know Kate wouldn't have. She was kind of a bitch. But you're good for Elliot. He loves you. I could tell there was tension with you two but you just need to talk with him about it and he'll forgive you. He's crazy about you. You'll probably en up married within a year."

"Goodnight Mia."

"Good night future Mrs. Elliot grey."

I went to bed with a smile on my face despite everything. I was glad to help Mia out. And I got to see Elliot. It's crazy how much I missed him. And I got to kiss him one last time.


	19. Chapter 19

**Sorry but this chapter is shorter. Don't forget to review. **

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As I got closer to the restaurant where I was meeting Elliot I became more nervous. I saw him standing outside with Isabelle and Ana.

"Lina!" Isabelle ran towards me and I reached down to pick her up. She was holding me as tight as her little body let her.

"Hey Izzy, I missed you." I said. I pulled back and smiled at the little five-year old.

"I missed you too. Why don't you come to my house? I got a new bed it's really pretty and I'm gonna have a sleepover with Amy if you can come. Can you come please. And I won a prize in school because I can say an animal that starts with every letter in the alphabet. You wanna see?"

"I'm good. I believe you because you're so smart. What are you doing here?" I thought it was just going to be Elliot and I.

"I'm gonna go to auntie Annie's house and we are going to make a cake for Mr. Grey. He's not very nice." She whispers to me. "He says bad words like shit and fu-"

"Ok just because he says them doesn't mean you should okay? Don't say that word it's bad." She nods her head quickly.

"And he yells at Taylor a lot. But he bought me a new doll and a car it's so nice. He doesn't fit but maybe you do because you're small. You're not big like my daddy Elliot." Elliot snickers behind us. I would be kind of offended that she thinks I'm so small, but she's happy that's all I care about.

"Yeah well maybe I'll fit we'll see next time I see you okay. Have you been behaving for your daddy?"

"Yes but then the other day I didn't because he said I couldn't see you. So he made me sad. Then I didn't want to talk to him."

"Well you should always talk to him okay? He just wants you to be happy. You know why?" I shifted her to my hip. She was way too heavy for me.

"Yup. Because he gives me food like on thanksgiving he gave me lots of turkey."

"That's right but you have to be nice to him because he loves you." She looked at Elliot and smiled. He stepped closer to us and she reached for him. He took her from me and she kissed his cheek. He was so good with her. I've never seen a child's behavior improve so quickly. Especially a child from a bad environment.

"Okay kiddo you have to go with Ana now. I'll see you later okay?" Elliot told her but she refused to let go.

"Okay. Can Lina come see me too. I can save you some cake." She looked at me.

"Maybe another time okay." I desperately wanted to say yes but I know Elliot would need time to process after today. I took her from Elliot and hugged her. I really did love this little girl. I don't want to lose her. I walked to the car waiting for Ana and sat her in her seat and put her seat belt on. "Bye baby I love you." She kissed my cheek and held me tight.

"Love you Lina" my heart broke a little when they drove away.

"Our table is ready." Elliot said when I turned around. He couldn't really say anything that would make me feel better. It was up to him if I could keep seeing her and he wouldn't decide until after our talk.

We were served wine. He ordered for me when I told him I didn't want anything. It was awkward, to say the least. We didn't know what to say. That was new for us. Being with him was easy, I have always been able to just tell him everything but not now. Now, I was stumped at how to start any conversation. I knew what to say but I didn't know where to start. We were at the table avoiding any eye contact. One of would have to say something eventually but I didn't want to do it because he was the one that wanted to know about me. He wants to know something then he can ask. That's what today is about. I'm the liar though. He did nothing wrong.

"What do you want to know?" It was up to me to break the silence.

"Everything." He was so obvious.

"I don't know where to start. Don't say at the beginning that's kind of cliché. Just ask me question and that will get me started." I was glad for the fact that we had been seated in a table in the corner isolated from everyone else.

"You were married." Not a question

"Yes."

"How long?"

"Damien and I were married for two years. We dated one year. So we were together for three years." He nodded his head. He was thinking so I took a sip of my wine. I didn't care too much for wine so I didn't know if it was good or not. I drank it all before my next question.

"How did you meet?"

"Should I just give you a run through of our relationship?" I don't know why it mattered, but if he asked then he must care. He nodded.

"He moved to Brooks when he was twelve but he was kind of shy whereas I was more outgoing. So we never talked. We would see each other at town events and what not but we didn't talk. He moved to Seattle for college the same year I did. But he dropped out when he was 20 to join the fire academy. I once lit my kitchen on fire and he was one of the responders and that's how we got together."

"You lit your kitchen on fire? I thought you were good at cooking?" I couldn't help but smile.

"I can but I got distracted and something burned I don't remember what it was. I just knew that my kitchen was on fire, I ran out and called 911."

"Why did you marry him?"

"Why do you think? Why do people get married Elliot?" That's a stupid question.

"I don't know, money." My jaw dropped. I was about to walk out and not talk to him. That was cruel. How could he even think that of me? "I don't think you would do something like that but Derrick said"

"Don't listen to Derrick. Regardless of what he thinks he doesn't want to accept certain things."

"Okay I just want to know. Don't be mad at me." He holds up his hands in surrender.

"Is that what you think? That I'm with you because I want your money? Do you honestly think that I'm that kind of person." I was pretty hurt by him now. I was angry.

"No you're not, I'm sorry I asked. You're not that kind of person. It was a stupid question. No one could actually believe you are some gold digger. You know that." I wish that was true. Then I wouldn't have had to leave Brooks. He looked at me and moved to the chair next to me instead of being across from me. I had to look down and use my hair to cover my face because I was crying. His back was to the other guests. "It was a bad idea to do this in a restaurant wasn't it?" I nodded my head. "I don't want to put this off any more Lina. I want to know. But I know this isn't the place for this." He leaned back on his chair to think. Before I knew what he was doing he paid and we were outside. "Just follow my car okay?"

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"Kerry park." I've never been there but I've heard it was beautiful.

It was beautiful. It was empty for sunset. Usually this time was when the most people would be here. We sat on a bench and looked at the view.

"Next question." I said after moment of silence.

"Are you married?"

"Not really." I wasn't sure about that question. "No." There was no point in being mysterious about it.

"What happened to him?" I had a picture in my head of Damien dead on the street. He died a few minutes after the impact. I was sure of that because when I got to the scene his fingers moved. That's why I thought the ambulance would have a chance to save him. I once told my mom that but she thought I was crazy. Not that I blamed her. I was crazy.

"He died." One tear rolled down my face.

"How?" Faulty product. I let out a breath so I wouldn't laugh at how miserable of a reason that was to die.

"He collided with a truck on his motorcycle. He died a few seconds after impact." I haven't felt so miserable since he died.

"I'm sorry." I still hate that phrase.

"So am I." I shouldn't have bought him that stupid motorcycle. It was my fault he died. If I would have gotten him something else he would be alive. I should have given him tickets to football. Or the Super Bowl for the next year. Anything would have been better. I'm such an idiot.

"That's not completely true actually. It is true but there's more to the story. It was his birthday and I bought him a motorcycle. When he went out to use it the first time, he did crash, and he did die. But the bike had messed up brakes so he wouldn't have been able to stop. When my parents and his grand parents found out they sued the company." I told him details about the case. I talked about how his family was devastated about his death. I didn't talk about the baby though. I was waiting until the end. I said how we won and about the terms of the settlement. "When we got the money his grandfather and his cousin Derrick were furious because they wouldn't get anything out of the suit. I was the only beneficiary. I offered to give them money but they didn't take it. I didn't need the money Elliot I swear. I didn't even want to involve any lawyers. I just wanted him to be alive. Then they spread rumors about me. I don't care about the rumors but I just was accused of things that I didn't do." I kept shaking my head. I was loosing my sanity trying to convince him but I couldn't stop. "I just thought that-"

"Hey look at me." He forced me to look at him. I stared at his blue eyes. I must have freaked him out. "It's okay. I believe you. Breathe. Relax. I'm not accusing you of anything." He moved closer to me. He calmed me down. His hands on my skin were calming. I felt so possessed by his touch. I felt safe with him.

"Sorry... When they didn't take the money they spread rumors around town that I killed Damien. I never let anyone use the bike before him so they took that as some indication that he was suppose to die on the motorcycle. That I planned his death. I was the one that bought it and picked it out. The accident report showed the bike had bad brakes. But no one believed me. Of course I didn't help my cause. When we were dating Damien always said how one day he would own a Bentley. When the check of the money came in, I went out to buy the car. It was stupid but I was mad. Every one said I killed my husband. And I didn't do that. I hate myself for giving him that gift. If I hadn't have bought him the bike he would be alive. Now because of me he's dead. It was one wrong choice and it basically destroyed my life. It destroyed his. I guess they're right. I did kill him. It was my fault." Elliot wasn't saying anything. We both just looked at the view. The space needle.

"I was pregnant." I said as quietly as possible. I thought if he didn't hear then he won't ask about it.

"What?" He got closer to me.

"When he died..." I pictured my baby with all her wires. She was so small. I could still hear the little hiccups she had at the end. " I was 6 months pregnant." He looked at me. I knew what he wanted to ask. Instead of waiting I talked. "I lost a lot of weight... I had some complications at the begging of the pregnancy." Breathe Carolina I said to myself. "I just woke up one night and I saw blood. It was so much blood. I called for help and when I woke up they told me the baby wasn't going to make it. She died after an hour." I let out a shaky breath. "I only had her for an hour." I put my hands on my face and cried. Elliot didn't say anything. He didn't wipe my tears to comfort me. He didn't do... Anything. He looked ahead.

When I could talk again I said to him, "I know that I should have told you before. I know that it's a lot but I didn't know what to say. I was scared of you leaving. I don't talk about it because I remember what I saw. Do you know how hard it is to relive that every day? Elliot I'm so sorry to lie to you."

"It's okay. Thank you for telling me." He stood kissed my forehead and walked away.

He just walked away just like I knew he would.

I walked back to my apartment to find food. Mia must still be in here. Which made sense, Luke lived with Christian and Mia liked with her parents. Before they could see me I went to my room and started a bath. When I sat in the tub filled with bubbles I ran my hand over my stomach. My Caesarian scar wasn't noticeable. I didn't get stretch marks on my stomach. I did have two or three white ones on each of my hips but they weren't obvious. If they were Elliot didn't say.

I was mad at the world. The world gives me something beautiful only to take it away. First with Damien and Arizona. Now Elliot and Isabelle. What's the point of things. I didn't know. At that moment I didn't care. I lowered my head completely underwater but kept my eyes open waiting. Waiting for something good to happen. But nothing was happening. My eyes became lazy and they were hurting from having them open under water for so long so I closed them. I let my arms fall to my sides instead of holding the side of the tub. There was no point in getting out.

In my mind I knew I should stop this. I should get out. Just a... few more... seconds I thought to myself.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Luke yelled as he pulled my body out of the tub suddenly. I took a large breath. "Mia! Mia!" She came in to find me naked with her boyfriend pulling my arms. She looked upset. Until things registered on her mind and her expression softened.

"It's not what it looks like. I just wanted to relax."

"By drowning!" He was in my face now.

"No I swear I was going to get out. I wouldn't do that. You have to believe me. I wasn't going to." Mia looked at me sympathetically. "Oh god." Fell to the floor. I felt some one wrap a towel around me and Mia helped me put a shirt on. I couldn't move but she moved my limbs for me. I was in my bed and she was with me. "I love him Mia. I just ruined everything."

"No you didn't."

"Mia I ruin everything. My husbands dead and it was my fault. I bought him the motorcycle. It's my fault. I'm a liar." I was in my bed with my head on her lap. She was petting my head. "I love him and I ruined it." I told her as I sobbed.

I had a very familiar feeling that night. I was alone completely alone and unworthy of happiness. The only difference is that this time I knew that the two most important people to me would still get to live.


	20. Chapter 20

After what happened yesterday with Mia and Luke. I fell asleep. This morning was surprisingly not awkward. Luke and Mia didn't mention it besides asking me if I was okay. I was okay. I wasn't trying to drown myself. When I was younger I used to swim a lot so that water was calming. And the pain of holding my breath was soothing. I was in the water for too long and I don't know what in me made me think that I could stay longer but I did. The three of us even had breakfast together.

"So we wanted to ask you a favor." Mia told me. Usually when people asked me that it wasn't good. So I wasn't sure what to expect. "Well Luke and I are going to move in together and well... Can we stay here until we find some where. I promise we won't be here for too long and I'll even make you dinner." She had the most over the top smile. I laughed at her.

"Of course. I don't mind, just stay out of my room. And don't have sex where or when I can see it okay."

"You could always join us." Luke said as he winked at me making me laugh and Mia to hit his arm.

"Thanks I'll think about it."

"Why do you have a two bedroom apartment anyways?" Mia asked.

"Emily stays here sometimes when Mark, her dad, goes out-of-town on business. Emily is my god-daughter."

"Oh, so I called my mom." She tells me when Luke leaves. "She said she knew about it the whole time. She talked to Luke about it once but she asked him not to say anything to me about it until I was ready. I saw her yesterday when you went to dinner and Christian was already there. Well he was leaving."

"What did Christian say to her?"

"He said that I was being immature and Luke was fired. Not that I thought he would let him keep his job. He's still angry at me. But mom said besides having sex in the bathroom and slapping Elliot, I was right. That was nice, for once I didn't do anything wrong. She even invited Luke for dinner Sunday. Crap I have to go get Isabelle. I'm just taking her to school. I'll see you later." She rushed out forgetting her shoes.

"Thanks." She said to me when I handed them to her. It's a good thing she didn't have to get out of the car because she wasn't dressed.

I got to work late because of Mia. No one noticed though so it didn't matter.

"You have someone asking for you." My friend came to tell me. She looked really nervous. Not in a danger-ahead way but in a flirty tone.

I went down to find Elliot in his work clothes. He had on jeans and a shirt with grey construction on it. My heart broke a little as I got closer. I wasn't sure what he wanted.

"Elliot?" He turned to look at me and ran his hands through his hair.

"Are you busy?"

"I'm at work." I remind him. How does he know where I work? I don't remember telling him.

"What about lunch? Can we have lunch together? It won't take long I promise." Oh. It makes sense now.

"I really only have an hour Elliot." I looked at the time. I couldn't read his face. He just looked neutral. At least he wasn't mad anymore.

"That's fine."

"Okay then. Let me get my wallet."

"You don't need it." He was very impatient today. He was also being rude which bothered me. So I pushed him a bit.

"I do need it. It's my only lunch hour and I'm hungry so I'm gonna go get it."

"I can get you what ever you want. Let's just go already."

"I can get my own food." I snapped at him. I walked to my office to get my purse and think. I was mad because of how he was acting now. I didn't have a right to be though.

"Ready?" I nodded and followed him to his truck. He helped me in as usual. "Where do you want to go?" I shrugged my shoulders. "Thank you... For yesterday." I looked at him like he was crazy. I didn't do anything yesterday. "For telling me. I'm sure it was difficult for you but you tried anyways so thank you for trusting me."

"Do you want to stay here and talk or would you like to go somewhere private?"

"It doesn't matter. Just say what you need to say Elliot." He nodded. We went to eat in his car for some reason and sat in silence.

"Isabelle misses you." I stopped eating. I felt terrible for the little girl. I just abandoned her like her mother basically had.

"I miss her too."

"Lina. Before when we had our date I told you I wanted you in her life regardless of what happened between us." I thought about that night. "I meant it. She misses you and she needs to see you. If you can, if you want to, I want you in her life." In _her_ life. Not in his. Part of me was ecstatic to still be able to see her but I wanted to be in their life not just hers. I couldn't complain. I was able to spend time with her again. I missed her chatter, listening to her high-pitched voice. She was the greatest child I knew. "But..." Oh no, not conditions. Would it be like some child with divorced parents? I could only see her every other weekend. "I want you in my life too." I looked at him. "I love you Carolina Reid. I m sorry you had to got through so much shit in your life. I'm sorry you lost your... husband and the baby. But I'm glad it brought you to me." He's right. If they hadn't died I wouldn't be with him. I would be in Brooks. I had to look down to think. "Yesterday was a lot for me that's why I just walked away. This morning I realized how much of a dick I was for just leaving you the way I did. I should have at least said something. Even walked you to your car to make sure you got home. I went to your house but Mia said you were at work so I came here." He paused for a moment to run his hands through his hair. He sighed loudly. "I told you it wouldn't take long so I just wanted you to know that I still want you. I'll always want you baby." We got back to my office. I gathered my things to get out of his car.

"Elliot. I love you." I said with out looking at him when I opened my door. "Get out of the car Elliot." He did as I asked. I walked to his side and threw my arms around his neck. He automatically held me. I could feel his breath on my neck. My feet were barely touching the floor. His hands were moving on my back feeling me. I let him go. I instantly missed his touch. "Come over later." He nodded and pulled me to him again.

"I love you." He said as I walked away. He drove out of the parking lot so I started walking backwards watching him drive away. Until I tripped on the curb. I looked around and no one saw so I got up and thanked god for making sure Elliot didn't see me fall. How embarrassing would that have been.

I got home to my new personal chef hard at work. Mia was really focused on her work. She had on an apron and was serving everything on plates. Luke complemented her on how beautiful she looked so I checked my phone.

**We're on our way -E**

Now that she was in a good mood I had to ruin it for her.

"Elliot and Isabelle are coming for dinner." Good mood definitely over. "I haven't seen them in weeks. Plus he's in a good mood so it will be fine." She glared at me. "He promised to be on his best behavior for both of you." He didn't. He didn't even know they were staying here. "Besides Isabelle is coming so he won't want to upset her." She was still glaring. " Mia you have to talk to him sometime. It's easier to make up with him than with Christian." She hated me so I had to go to my last resort. "You look really nice today." Nothing like some compliments to lighten her mood.

"I'll talk to her." Luke said when he followed her to their room.

I answered the door. Isabelle started shouting when she saw me. She ran into my knees full force so I stumbled back.

"She has some homework so we thought she could do it here." He explains when she starts pulling papers out of her backpack.

"That's fine. But listen Mia and Luke are kind of staying here. I thought we could all have dinner together. You can get to know Luke more. At the same time talk to your sister."

"Fine." I smiled at him. He smiled back.

"I'll go get her. Be nice to Luke okay? He loves your sister."

I turned making my way to Mia. I hope this isn't a mistake.

"He's here. Come say hi." She rolls her eyes at me but follows anyways. She goes to the kitchen. Great the silence treatment.

Having Isabelle was a blessing during dinner. She created a sort of fun atmosphere. Well, as fun as it could have been with two fighting siblings. After we finished eating Luke and I not so subtly went to the kitchen to clean. I thought about taking Isabelle but she was needed for the conversational not turn into a fight. After every few dishes we washed, Luke and I would look into where Elliot and Mia were to make sure no hitting of any sort happened. As I finished cleaning Luke called me. I saw that Mia was hugging her brother around his waist. They weren't smiling but she wasn't hitting me either.

"Admit it Sawyer. I'm awesome." He laughed at me.

"You're okay. About yesterday... Sorry I walked in. I heard the water running and I didn't know you were home."

"It's okay. I wasn't trying to drown." I whispered so that Elliot didn't overhear. He nodded. The incident of yesterday was forgotten. Nothing else was needed to be said it was over and it won't happen again. "Have you talk to Christian or Jason about your job?"

"I have not. I figured I'm fired what else is there to say. I'm going tomorrow to get my things. After I get them Mia and I are going to look at a houses. I don't really want to be in your space for too long."

"I don't really mind. It will be great just you and me and Mia forever." I said while I drew a heart with my fingers with my over the top smile.

"No not forever just a while." There was a moment of silence before he spoke again. "I'm sorry about your husband." I looked at him. How did he know about them. "Mr. Grey has us run background checks on everyone before they sign the NDA. I saw your file."

"What file?" Elliot came into the kitchen.

"The background check on Carolina."

Elliot looked between us. "Since when does Christian know." He sounded upset. But when he looked at me there was no anger. He must have been mad at Christian.

"He gave you all the files." Luke said. I remember Elliot telling me that Christian gave Elliot the background checks but Elliot didn't want to look at them. We had originally thought that they only contained the files on Isabelle and Stephanie. I wasn't aware that mine was there too.

"Okay. That fucker." Isabelle started giggling behind him. We all looked at her.

"Mr. Grey says that a lot." We all smiled at her. She was so cute. I took her to my room so that she could change shirts. She had sauce on her shirt. We walked into the bathroom. Elliot watched us from the door frame with his arms over his chest. He walked to sit on the bed when we finished.

Isabelle decided to jump on the bed then onto Elliot's back. I watched her as she told Elliot a secret. He kept smiling at me. When he nodded his head she screamed happily. Then he told her something and she stopped to look at me. They were up to something.

I sat on the bed with my back to the wall. Elliot pulled my feet on his lap and started rubbing them. They wanted something. I tried not to squirm because I was ticklish on my feet. Elliot noticed it to but didn't do anything.

"Can Amy and me have a sleepover please." Isabelle said to me. I don't know why she was asking me. She had to ask Elliot for that, they are going to be at his house not mine.

"You have to ask your daddy that." She kissed my cheeks.

"He said that I could but you have to be with him. Please pretty please and I'll be good. We'll be really quiet and we will not make a mess. Please." She did the puppy dog face. I didn't know she could do that.

"No." I said with a serious voice. Her face along with Elliot's just dropped. "I'm just kidding baby of course I'll go with you." She smirked at me.

"That's not nice. I love you mommy." She had her arms around me and I held her. Elliot wiped my tear. "Ok I have to go tell aunt Mia."

She moved letting me go. I was sitting Indian style in my bed as she ran out. Elliot's face was close. I licked my lips.

"Ew!" Isabelle yelled. "You're naked that's yucky. Are you gonna take a shower?" I got up and moved Isabelle out of Mia's room locking her door on my way out.

"We have to knock when we go to other people's room okay?" She nodded and moved to where her homework was waiting for her. I turned my attention to the pissed off older brother, "She's an adult El, you don't get to be mad."

"Does he have to do it when I'm here and when my child is running around?" He was mad again. I tried to calm him by rubbing my hands on arms.

"Relax. We did that once too. Don't be a hypocrite. Let's just go. Pretend that didn't just happen. Just come help me with the homework so we can all go to sleep." We finished Isabelle's homework in less than an hour so we went to my room to watch tv.

"Lina. Lina wake up." I looked around. The tv was still on and it was 1 in the morning, when Isabelle called me.

"Hey what's wrong."

"I want to go to my house. I miss my bed. Can we go please." We must have all fallen asleep. Elliot was sleeping peacefully next to us. She was rubbing her eyes.

"Elliot wake up." I didn't mind them being here but Isabelle looked uncomfortable being here now. I had read once that with kids having them be in a stable home was good for them so she must have needed that stability. He looked so peaceful. "Baby you have to get up." Isabelle went out to get her backpack. While we were alone and he was unconscious I kissed his lips. His hair was so curly now. It was messy from the pillow but he still looked beautiful.

"Fuck what happened? Are you okay? Where's Isabelle?" He got up suddenly almost bumping his head to mine.

"Everything is fine but you have to go. Isabelle doesn't feel comfortable here. I'd love for you to stay but she wants to go to her house. So you need to take her." He nodded his head and made his way out. Isabelle was stumbling a little so he carried her. I was going to just let them leave but his posture made me nervous he was half asleep there was no was he could drive. So I took a chance. Just as I was about to he said something.

"Come with us?"

"Okay." I responded with out a second thought. I got my clothes for tomorrow and we were off to his house. I thought he would be too tired to drive but he wasn't. He was awake now.

As soon as we got to his house we settled Isabelle in her bed. We walked hand in hand to his room. I sat on his bed while he went to the bathroom. He came out in just boxers. He walked to his drawer and took out a simple white T-shirt. He noticed how I watched him and smirked at me. "Do you want one?" I giggled and nodded my head. He handed me a shirt. It smelled like him. His clothes always smelled of him, there was a masculine scent to them. We laid down on our sides facing each other. I know that just yesterday he was angry at me but I couldn't resist him. I moved closer and placed his arm over my hip and nuzzled his chest.

"Nothing's changed." He tells me as I drift of. At least I was until he talked.

"What do you mean?"

"I still love you. We could still move in together if you'd like. If anything I love you more now."

"How is nothing different?"

"What you went through must have been difficult but you're still here. And you're still trying with me."

"It's hard not to love you." I said with a small smile.

"Why were you afraid to tell me?"

"I didn't want you to feel sorry for me. I didn't want you to know. I guess I felt used. Not used by Damien it wasn't his fault but I was married before. I'm sure you didn't picture your future wife as some one who was married before. I always thought when I was younger, that the person I would marry, I would be their only marriage. I can't be that for you. I'll always be used." I've never said that out loud. I felt very worn out by my first marriage. It was so happy until it was over. How could any other relationship ever compare?

"You're not worn out. You're... Amazing. And I love you for that. For what kind of person you are. I love you." He shifted on top of me. His elbows at my sides supporting his weight. I could see into his eyes. Even with the dimmed light I have never thought of his as being as being as beautiful as he was now. He was looking at me with such love and such desire. I loved being able to be like this with him. So comfortable and so in love. "I love you so much Lina." He kissed me. "So fucking much." He kissed me again. I was practically clawing at his back to get him closer to me. But these damn clothes were in my way. He moved his hands down my legs to my knees and pulled my leg against his hip. As I was starting to do the same to my other leg he sat up and pulled his shirt off. I sat up and placed wet kisses on his stomach. I missed him so much. We were only together one night and it was engraved into my mind. His skin was just as soft as I remember. His hands were on the side of my face to tilt my face up to his. I kneeled and our mouths and tongues were at a battle. Trying to claim dominance. I would normally be a submissive in this kind of situation but Elliot was being so slow which was too slow for me. Maybe another day I would want to do things excruciating slow but now I need him.

He pushed me back to the mattress but before he reacted I flipped him on his back. His erection was ready, he was hard against my inner thigh. I moved my hips so his erection would be pressed against my panty cover core. He tilted his hips up making me moan. He pulled my shirt off. He pressed his face against my breasts and moved his hands to undo my bra. He pulled it off and sucked on my right breast. "Elliot" I moaned. His teeth were pulling at my nipple. I sat up but his mouth remained attached to my nipple. I moved my hips into his. "I love you" he said to me when he looked at me. My legs were around him and he moved me so I was under him again. I loved how his skin felt against mine. When his boxers came off I could help the smile on my face. I was excited to be with him that way. All I wanted was his hard dick inside me, pulsing and thrusting. He pulled my panties off a minute later.

Good thing I didn't wear pants to sleep because then we would have waisted another minute removing those. I was torn between moving his lips back to mine or letting them continue their journey south. We had never explored that part of each other yet. Curiosity got the best of me, so I let him move his talented tongue down my stomach in my belly button. I closed my eyes to focus on the pleasure of his mouth.

His tongue was moving from side to side around my clit. I jerked my hips up when his fingers entered me. "Ahh" I was surprised by the suddenness of his touch. With out permission, my legs closed when he sucked on my clit. It wasn't that I didn't like that it was just too much. His hand move to my ankle to stop it from closing. I had to grab the sheets to avoid any excess movement. I opened my eyes, Elliot was smiling at me. He sucked at my clit again while watching me. He did that one more time before moving his fingers in and out of me rapidly. He blew on my clit before licking it. "El" I said. His name was too long of a word to say with so much pleasure building in me. He moved faster "yes". My toes curled and my back arched when I came but he didn't stop. He moved even faster.

When he kissed me I could taste my self on him. I was ready to have him inside me. He aligned his length to my entrance when i remembered something.

"Wait Elliot. We can't."

"What's wrong baby?" He kissed my neck. I almost lost my train of thought. Almost.

"We need a condom." He stopped an looked at me.

"Aren't your on the pill?" He was throbbing against my thigh.

"I didn't take it the last few days." He kissed me again slowing.

"Do you want to stop," I wasn't sure what he was asking me. Maybe there was a read between the lines thing in this. There was also a chance that he was just asking me a question. So I responded to the question I heard.

"No. But I know what can happen. I don't want you to regret this later." So much for just saying yes or no.

"Carolina, I love you. I'm sure about you. About this, us. We can stop or we can keep going. I'll love you no matter what." He kissed me again. "Do you trust me to keep going or do you want to stop?" He was still throbbing.

"There's a chance I could get pregnant."

"You could but I'll take care of you. Always. I love you. Do you trust me enough to take that chance. Because I love you enough. But if you're not ready we can stop. I want everything with you. Whenever."

He was looking into my eyes now. He was so sure of us. I was too I knew that I loved him. I knew I would love him as long as I live. The question wasn't if I was in love with him enough. The question was whether I would be willing to have completely unprotected sex with him or not. Was I? I could get pregnant. Could I even handle another pregnancy after my last one? And he was leaving the decision up to me.


	21. Chapter 21

_"There's a chance I could get pregnant."_

_"You could but I'll take care of you. Always. I love you. Do you trust me enough to take that chance. Because I love you enough. But if you're not ready we can stop. I want everything with you. Whenever."_

_He was looking into my eyes now. He was so sure of us. I was too I knew that I loved him. I knew I would love him as long as I live. The question wasn't if I was in love with him enough. The question was whether I would be willing to have completely unprotected sex with him or not. Was I? I could get pregnant. Could I even handle another pregnancy after my last one? And he was leaving the decision up to me._

I felt his skin on mine. I fit so perfectly into him. I loved him. I know what it's like to lose someone, I didn't want to lose him. I didn't want to waste any time. He may not be here tomorrow but I had him tonight. I did trust him, I did love him enough. I leaned up and captured his lip in mine.

"Don't stop." I said looking directly at him. He aligned himself at my entrance and looked at me one last time, giving me a chance to back out. Not that I needed it. "I love you." I said pulling his mouth back to mine. He entered me. It was a sense of relief when he was inside me. At first he moved slowly trying to let me get used to his size but then the slowness was replaced with eager need for relief. Our noses bumped into each other as he was thrusting. When we were at the end of the rope he grabbed my ankles and moved my legs even higher so that he could go deeper. I squeezed him while he was inside me. He was so big so fast. "Elliot... Yes, that's so good." He moved faster and moaned louder. Before I knew it he released inside me. We came together. When it was over he collapsed on me with his head on my chest.

"We should go to sleep." I told him as we tried to catch our breath. "You have to work early." He groaned and flipped us over so I was on top. "Or... We can just do that again." I said licking his bottom lip. He smacked my behind and grinned.

"Again." The rest of the night we didn't sleep. I knew tomorrow I wouldn't be so happy but I was horny for more of Elliot and he was more than willing to satisfy me. Sometime after his third and my fifth orgasm, we had enough. But I was sure that tonight was only the beginning of what will be many sleepless nights but it was worth it.

Not long after his alarm went off at 3:30. I was going to pretend to not hear it and just go to sleep but I felt bad that he had to wake up while I could go to sleep. I went down to get him coffee as he got dressed. "Why are you awake?" Elliot asked when he saw me.

"To get you coffee." He smiled at me. He sat on a bar stool next to me drinking his coffee.

"Thank you but you don't have to be awake just because I am. Go to sleep."

"I don't mind. I can sleep when you leave." I was trying really hard not to yawn.

"You don't need to get up to make me a coffee just to thank me for the great sex yesterday." He said smirking. I smiled at him and leaned my head on his arm. I thought he would warp his arm around my shoulder but instead he just picked me up carrying me to bed. He was leaning down to kiss me but I yawned so he waited until I was done. "Laters baby."

I closed my eyes. "Laters. Thank you for the great sex." I mumbled.

"Anytime." The door shut before I could respond. I tried to enjoy my last 3 and a half hours of sleep as much as possible.

"Let's go Isabelle you have to go to school baby." The good thing about Isabelle is that she woke up immediately. Sure, she looked like a walking zombie but at least I didn't have to use any extraordinary measures.

"Are you gonna sleep here again?" She asked me. I wasn't really sure. Elliot did say I could move in whenever I wanted but I wasn't sure. I could just ask him. So I did. I sent him a text. He replied pretty fast considering he was suppose to be working. He of course, said when I would need help with my things. I told him I would pack my things this week. "So are you?" I forgot about her question.

"Yes I am. Is that okay?" She nodded her head eagerly. "Can you make me moroni with cheese. Gail made me some and it was super good. She said that's Mr. Grey's favorite. Or hamburgers. With cheese. My daddy liked burgers." Between bites of her breakfast she would say more about what her daddy liked.

"Did you eat lots of burgers with your daddy?" I asked casually to make conversation.

"Yup when you didn't see me we went to burgers everyday, he's not good at cooking. But grandma Grace made him food one day." How can he take her out to eat every single day. I hoped for their health that she was just exaggerating.

"Well I'll be here to make you dinner okay? Let's go, we don't want to be late." I dropped her off then headed to work.

I was asked constantly who the person that came yesterday was. My answer was always the same, just some friend. It's not that I was denying him I just didn't want to get my hopes up just yet. When I got home Elliot was with Isabelle watching tv. I made dinner then cleaned up after. Elliot joined me in the kitchen while Isabelle played in her room.

"Lina, about last night," he started. I became embarrassed. In my mind I already knew what he was going to say. He would say that we shouldn't have had unprotected sex. I knew this would happen so I brought condoms and a morning after pill. I haven't taken it yet but I would as so as he told me to. He must have seen my facial expression. "I meant what I said last night, relax. I was going to say that if you're more comfortable waiting we can use condoms. They fucking suck but, I don't want to push you into something. I'm ready when you are. You always seem so tense."

I was so relieved. "I don't regret it either. At the same time though I think we should wait from now on. I'll get on a more reliable birth control again but for now we have to stick to condoms. I want to have you all to myself for a bit." I had my arms around his neck. "Well as much as I can enjoy you with a five-year old running around cock blocking everyone." I pecked his lips.

"That's fine we can wait. As long as you move in here soon I missed you and you're cooking."

"I know I heard you had burgers everyday when I wasn't here." I raised my eyebrow at him.

"I'm hopeless with out you baby. Is it to late to get you're things now?"

"It is late. Ugh I have to tell Mia I'm leaving the apartment." I didn't want to kick her out but I wasn't going to have that apartment when I wasn't living there.

"Who cares she will just go back home instead of playing house with that fucker."I rolled my eyes and dropped my arms. I know I shouldn't get involved but I had to stick up for Mia.

"Luke and Mia are going to move in together. I thought you two made up?"

"What the hell. They aren't moving in together she's a fucking kid. He's my age. Hold on let me call Christian." He takes his phone out of his pocket. I don't want to take it away from him because that's rude but he needs to calm down.

"Elliot your sister is the same age as your pregnant sister in-law. They aren't playing house. They're happy together. You don't need to go tell your brother of what she does if he wants to know hat is happening in her life he can ask her. Elliot just relax." He's still busy texting away. I decide to walk away. I didn't want to get upset with him.

I remembered to finally bring home the file the school gave me and I placed it on the counter as he talked to Christian. I waved it at him and he took it. He opened it and his expression changed. "I'll call you back." He said to Christian.

"What's wrong?"

"It says that the tuition was paid for by a GEH employee."

"Isn't that your brothers company? Does it have a name?" He shook his head.

"No. Il just have the school figure it out, the counselor said I could just ask for it right?" I nodded my head. He could have just asked Christian since it's his brother's company. I'm sure he has access to the information. I didn't mention it though. He could figure it out.

"I'll just have the school call and tell you. We should have dinner with Mia and Luke." I changed the subject.

"No!" He said sharply. I pouted.

"Please" I wrapped my arms around his waist.

"There is nothing you can say or do to convince me of that." I slowly made my way to the laundry room with him behind me.

"Can I try?" I said raising my eyebrow. He grabbed my ass and pushed me against him.

"Sure baby." I unbuttoned his jeans and pulled them down. I did the same to his boxers. Mia better thank me for all I do for her. But though my amazing oral skills I was able to convince Elliot to agree to a dinner.

The following days Our relationship became more secure. I was able to finally talk to him with out worrying that I would say something about my past. I didn't need to lie to him anymore. He did ask me a few questions about what happened now and then but there was no sign on his part that it made him love me less.

When I talked to Mia about me leaving she asked if she could just take my apartment. I didn't mind. So they gladly, and eagerly packed my things for me. All I had to do was show up with Elliot one day. The next Saturday Elliot and Luke moved my stuff to his house. I left most things in his garage which really bothered him. The garage was his man cave. I laughed when he said that. He had a typical bachelor pad type home so I didn't see why the garage was so important. "Relax Ell, I'll have my stuff out as soon as possible." After I said that he was more relaxed. One of the spare bedrooms became my office of sorts.

Since Luke and Mia kept my furniture there was no need to worry about that. But my pictures were another story. I didn't want to display them in Elliot's house because they were all taken before I met him. He didn't have many pictures in his house so while Elliot and Luke moved my stuff, us girls went to have Isabelle take some pictures. They all came out beautiful so I got one enlarged to hang in our bedroom.

"No! You can't put that in here." He said when he saw it hanging in our bedroom wall. I didn't know whether to be offended or amused by his response.

"Why not? It... She looks beautiful. Don't you like it?" I bit my lip waiting for his answer.

"I like it. Lina, we have sex here. I'd like to be able to fuck you hard without having her stare at me. You can leave a small one here, but not that one." I laughed, I took off my dress just to test his theory. I walked slowly toward him. I kissed him as passionately as I could and rubbed him through his jeans. "Fuck no. That picture needs to go. She's looking at me." He adjusted himself in the bathroom so the picture didn't see him. I have never laughed so hard. I slipped my dress on and proceeded to move the portrait. It wasn't that big. Okay it was life-size so I guess it was big. I took it down stairs to think of a place to put it. He came down stairs then looked around. He took off the wall, his signed mariners shirt that he got on his first baseball game ever, and replaced it with the picture of his daughter. "See much better." I smiled and nodded. He looked so proud now.

"I can hang this in somewhere else if you'd like." I didn't want to completely over take his house.

"Nah I'll take it to my office. What do you think?" I thought he was talking to me but when I looked at him he had Isabelle in his arms. She squealed. She hadn't seen the pictures so she was excited now. She kissed Elliot making him laugh. I loved him more in that moment than I ever had.

That was the night we all had dinner at Elliot's parents house. Christian was away in Taiwan but Ana joined us. Most of the night was spent listening to Carrick ask Luke question after question. Mia seemed embarrassed but Luke handled himself well. Luke had apparently received an engineering degree many years back. He's an ex marine. Has two sisters and one brother who live in Texas with his parents. Never married, no kids, and no STDs. Elliot and I really got a kick out of that question. At least until Mia asked me and Elliot if we had any. We just rolled our eyes.

Elliot kept trying to move his hand in between my thighs but I effectively stopped him by moving my extra fork to his inner thigh as a warning. But then he started kissing my neck. The first few pecks no one minded but when he would suck on my skin I had to push him away. He didn't stop though. I was pretty embarrassed but Grace just smiled at me.

"Dear, you're embarrassing her. Let the girl eat." He looked at his mother but continued his movements. He sat me on his lap. It was hard to focus on the conversation with him. I had to bite my lip to suppress the moan threatening to escape. Luckily dinner finished and every one stood up to go to the sitting room. Before Elliot could keep me I stood and picked Isabelle up to use as protection from his over affectionate self. That only worked for a few minutes because she moved to sit next to Carrick. Since it wasn't raining outside we took a walk outside. Ana and Mia stayed inside so it was just Grace Isabelle and I. We talked about a few of her patients that I knew. Until we didn't have anything to talk about.

"It's nice to see my son so happy." She said to me.

"Elliot is always happy."

She nodded her head. "Yes but now he seems content. When he was with Katherine, he was happy but it was more of a young love. They were in the honeymoon stage. He proposed so quickly that I don't think even he had a chance to think. They didn't know each other."

"I met him only three months a ago." I pointed out.

"I'm aware. He has hope for himself now." I shook my head and looked at her, waiting for her to clarify why as she meant. "When we adopted him he was very lovable, compared to my other son. But when we brought Christian home, and eventually Mia, he pulled back. It wasn't like he didn't love us but he took a step back. He would tell us to focus on Christian and Mia. He was jealous but he showed his jealousy through being hurt. Christian was... difficult. So we were glad that Elliot was so easy to deal with. Elliot lived his own life while my husband and I dealt with the younger ones." She stopped and sighed. "That's why he needed his own family. Because he needed to have some one have their world be about him. I tried my best to be involved with him but he said he was fine. And he was. He did remarkable in school, he was involved in sport, and as a teenager her was very popular in all aspects of his social life." That was her way of saying he had a lot of girls after him. Not that it would be hard to believe. "I want you to know that he is my son and I do love him as much as my other two children. I tried my best with him all of them. I know that leaving him to do his own thing makes me a bad mother,"

"Grace, how can you say that? Elliot loves you. It's hard to compare with you. You were an amazing mother. You took three children who were alone and raised them to be amazing people. They all adore you more than they can express" I hugged her. Poor grace. Dealing with teenagers must not have been easy but they all love her. I have never seen her so upset. She is usually so put together. She makes me feel like a complete disaster in life.

"I'm sorry dear. It's nice to see all my children so happy and in love. You're perfect for my son. You tamed him. In your own way."

I smile at that. How can someone tame Elliot grey. "I love him Grace. He's amazing to me. To Isabelle." We walked back inside with our conversation over.

Inside, Carrick invited me to spend Christmas with them. "Carrick don't pressure her. She probably already has plans. I know southerners are very close to their families. Will you be going home to Tennessee?" I became nervous.

"No. Not really I mean... I just haven't been home in a while. If I see my family they usually come here ." I said looking down.

"Why not? I don't mean to pry just curious?"

"There are some issue with the town people." Elliot puts his hand on my shoulder. I hold his hand and squeeze. I realize that Elliot's parents are the only ones here who don't know about my previous marriage.

"Yes I heard about that it had something to do with an ex boyfriend of yours right?" Boyfriend. It wasn't a boy friend. Do I say yes or tell them the truth. I don't want to talk about it. Not to them. Not to anyone.

"Mom it doesn't matter."

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to pry it was just a question. Well, hopefully you can spend it with us." Grace offered me a smile. I tried to smile back but I couldn't. They started talking about Ana's pregnancy so Elliot and I went out of the room.

"Hey you okay?" I nodded my head. "You don't have to come on Christmas if you don't want to you can spend it with Andy. I want you comfortable." I grabbed his face pulling him to me.

"I love you. I'd love to spend it with you." Ana left the room with Mia behind her. The food didn't agree well with her.

She apologized when she came back. "People always say that morning sickness is hard but I didn't expect it this bad." She was looking at me. "When you were pregnant did you ever have morning sickness like this? I guess it's worth it in the end right?" Mia and Grace gasped.

All I could think about was not to cry. Not in front of his parents. Everything was going so well.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't thinking." Ana said as she grabbed my hand. I pressed my lips together. Everyone was looking at me. Even Isabelle and Carrick who were busy talking before.

"It's fine." When Damien first died I discovered that if I blinked quickly then I could prevent tears. I looked at my hand that was holding Elliot's. I'm sure my grip was too hard but I didn't know what else to do. I took a breath and answered Ana's question because I didn't know what else to do. "I had a difficult pregnancy from the beginning, so my morning sickness was worse than average. But it is worth it." Mia changed the subject before any more questions were asked. When every one was busy in conversation, I stepped outside for some air.

So many wires. She only weighed 4 pounds and she was born at 33 weeks. She would have had Damien's dark hark. She smelled so new just like a true newborn. I crossed my arms and closed my eyes trying to remember what she felt like. I remember clearly what she looked like but my memory of touch was fading. When I wasn't looking my mom took a picture of us that she showed to me later. I love that picture.

Some one was outside now. They wrapped their arms around me from beside and rested their chin on my head. It was Elliot. I felt like him. I leaned into him. I heard the sliding door again. I looked at who it was and it was Grace. The three of us sat down as. I told her. This was the second time in one month I had to tell some one. I've never talked about it so much. Grace was very understanding. When I couldn't continue Elliot filled in for me. She offered me advice on what do to to deal with my issues but i wasn't ready for any of that. She talked about therapy. But Elliot was the best kind of therapy I could get. It was a very emotional day for Grace and I.

When Isabelle fell asleep in Luke's lap we knew it was time to go home. I made plans with Mia to go shopping for Christmas presents. Ana said she might be able to accompany us but she had to talk to Christian about security. I didn't really understand that. Isn't the point of having security, so that she can go on with her life being safe. Now she just seems constricted in her options. I didn't ask though. They all had a good laugh about Christian being a control freak.

On Monday, I picked up the file with Elliot's requested information. Just like last time I left it on the bottom of my work files and forgot it. That Wednesday Elliot asked me something I really didn't expect.

"So, hypothetically..." I waited for him to continue.

"Hypothetically?" I stopped my typing to look at him.

"Hypothetically, if I wanted to adopt, formally a certain child that I am a legal guardian for what would I do?" Wow. He wanted to adopt her? I tried to keep a serious face. I know how much Isabelle would love it. She could finally have a family like she wants.

"Well, you would have to contact your case worker and have a lawyer. We already checked for any family members so that's done. But considering she doesn't have any family, it should be pretty simple. Hypothetically." I said. He nodded. He was pondering over the information.

"Why did you want to adopt some one?" I asked sarcastically.

"Maybe."

"Well as your girlfriend I think I deserve to know." He rolled his eyes.

"Lina I want to adopt her." I kissed him.

"You're a great father Elliot." He smiled at me.

"Group hug." Isabelle said as she hugged our legs. Elliot picks her up and sets her on my desk.

"So Isabelle what do you want for Christmas?" She shrugs her shoulders. "You don't want anything?"

"Do people get a stuff on Christmas?"

"Yes didn't you get anything on Christmas?" She shook her head and looked down. I knew that if I asked why then she would tell me something I didn't want to hear. But I had to ask anyways.

"Why didn't you get something on Christmas?"

"Rick told me that only good kids get presents. And I was a bad girl. My mommy gave me a present one day but then Rick broke it. It's okay I don't need a present." Elliot's fist was balled up. He was pissed. He walked out of the room. I was torn between getting Elliot to calm down and taking care of Isabelle. Elliot was a grown man. He can take care of himself for a while.

"Well he's wrong okay? You're not a bad girl. And he doesn't get to choose here if you get presents or not okay?" She nodded her head. I carried her to her room where we played with her toys for a while. It was getting late so I told her to shower while I went to find Elliot. I found him in the garage running on the treadmill. Besides parking my car I don't come in here.

"Elliot." He was still angry so I stayed back. He had ear buds in so he couldn't hear me. I placed myself directly in front of him. He removed the ear buds and hoped off the treadmill. He was still upset. But now it was anger. He looked at me. Before I could protest, he attacked me. He was kissing me and pulling my body against his. He needed this. He needed some sort of relief to let go of this anger her had. I would normally say that this was an unhealthy way to distress because it didn't fix anything but he was being aggressive and rough. We didn't even make it out the garage. I was pressed between his body and the door of my Bentley. It was not a comfortable position but as usual Elliot made up for my uncomfortable back with his expert hands and mouth touching me in all the places I needed him.

When we finished Elliot was more calm. I pulled him to the couch in the garage and straddled his lap. "You have to talk to her. When she says things you don't want to hear you have to listen regardless. Or else she'll think that she's doing something wrong and have another incident. You can't walk away from her like that Elliot."

"I hate what they did to her. How they treated her. She's a good kid and they treated her like trash." He says.

"I know. But she with us now. So we have to take care if her. It's up to us to make sure she knows she's loved. Let's go. We have to get dressed." We went back upstairs after finding our clothes. Isabelle was already asleep. When I tried to get Elliot to come to bed he said he was going to sit in her room. He just needed to make sure she was okay.

It's amazing how even not having a Christmas would affect Elliot. I'm sure that in his mind he would be thinking of ways to make this Christmas the best for her.

The next few weeks Elliot dedicated them to making Isabelle have a good holiday. They went with Carrick and Christian to pick a tree. Of course they couldn't buy it so they cut one down. It was their tradition. While they were out I went Christmas shopping with Andy and Mia. Isabelle came home that with six stitches on her arm and a sprained ankle. Elliot said she tripped. But she was a trooper. She didn't complain. She was excited to go to school and show all her friends. They ended school six days before Christmas so during those days she would bake with Mia. Since Mia didn't work, Isabelle spent her days with Mia while Elliot and I went to work.

As a way to make up to Mia for being a jerk, Elliot personally invited Luke to spend Christmas with us. Christian wasn't very happy but at that point he was the only one who didn't like Luke. By majority rule Christians opinion was discarded. Elliot wouldn't admit it but he was starting to like Luke. Mia was right about Christian cutting her off financially. He took back her car and stopped depositing weekly allowances to her account. But Luke made enough money while working for Christian to support her. She was a happy little house wife until Grace told her to work on a charity event for coping together. She was in charge of planning their entire Christmas fundraiser. They held two each year. One was in summer and the other was the safer day before Christmas.

Everything was going really well for Elliot and I. My biggest worry was what I should get him for Christmas.

* * *

**So what do you think should happen in Christmas? I'm kind of stuck on what to do And what they should get each other. I usually try to do what my readers want to happen in the story. So any advice on what could happen will be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading and reviewing. **


	22. Chapter 22

Today has to be the most unproductive day at work I have ever had. I have been sitting in my office for hours thinking of what to get Elliot for Christmas. Isabelle I had figured out. But Elliot was making it hard. I asked him what he wanted but he said he didn't want anything. He changed his mind a few minutes later and said he wanted a weekend alone where we could have sex all day and night. I was not opposed to that but I wanted to get him something meaningful. Something that would show him how much I love him. I could get him something kinky. Some handcuffs. Or those ball things Anna was talking about the other day. No, I have to do more than that. Sex we can do any day but Christmas was once a year.

That's reminds me that I have to buy condoms. Lately we have been using them but when we run out we carry on with out them. I know I should worry more about using them but Elliot and I decided to not worry too much. I told him I'll get on birth control after the holidays are over. I took a break and walked to the bathroom. I seriously had to pee.

Usually I stayed at work for an hour extra but today, I decided to just leave. I decided to go to Andy's house for a while because I haven't seen Emily in a while. When I got there I found Andy and Mia sitting in the kitchen.

"You're having a party and I wasn't invited?" I said sarcastically.

"Oh we're still friends? I thought you had traded me in for all your new Grey friends."

I rolled my eyes at her. "You do know that she is a Grey right?" I pointed at Mia. She shrugged her shoulders and served me some ice cream.

"What are you doing here? Where's Elliot?" Asked Mia.

"At home, I think. I got out early. I'll be right back I have to pee." When I got back to the kitchen I heard them talk about some shopping they still needed to do.

"Where's Luke?"

"He's away on business for a few days. And Elliot picked Isabelle up early from my house today because they were going to buy something for you. I tried to get him to take me but he said I couldn't keep a secret. Geez do you want more?" I was eating my ice cream way too fast. I didn't realize it but it was really good. Andy always ordered her ice cream from some place online. The same place I got my ice cream. We both always ordered chocolate with marshmallows. We could always buy rocky road from the store but we didn't like the nuts so we bought it custom-made.

"Sorry I skipped lunch and I haven't ordered mine. And I'm glad you're here, I don't know what to get Elliot for Christmas. Any ideas?" I went to the fridge and got a beer.

"He wants to have time alone with you. Just do that. Go to Vegas for a weekend. I'll watch Isabelle." Mia suggested.

"No! Don't go to Vegas you'll end up married. The way you two are going I'm sure you'll elope there." I ignored Andy.

"I do like the Vegas idea but I want to give him something thoughtful. I want to go somewhere with him but I don't want to leave Isabelle. I trust you with her but I just think we need to include her."

"Go to Vegas and then the three of you can do something together like go to Disneyland. Emily loves Disneyland I'm sure Izzy would too."

"You could have a baby." Said Mia winking at me.

"I don't think I can have a baby in the next three days." I said stating the obvious.

"Besides by the time the birth control wears off it will take at least a month right? That's how long it took Mark and I to get pregnant with Emily." I drank my beer while they talked about how I could get pregnant. But if birth control did take a while to wear off then I should be fine. Plus I'm drinking alcohol so hopefully I'm not.

"Seriously. I'm not pregnant. You don't need to plan me a baby shower."

"Maybe he's getting you a ring!" They both start squealing.

"He's not getting me a ring relax. You're suppose to be helping me. What did you get Luke?"

"I'm getting his family flown in from Texas for New Years." That's a good present. I know Luke must miss them.

"I thought you were broke."

"Andy! That's rude." It was rude of her to say but I'm glad she asked now I didn't have to.

"It's okay. I had a separate account Christian didn't know about. So they are coming to New Years party my grandparents host every year. You should come." Andy agreed to go with Emily and Mark. I was glad that they would be there because aside from the Grey's members I didn't know any one else who would attend.

"You guys are useless. I'm leaving." I told them when they kept going on about dresses and not helping me with this stupid present I had to get.

"She's leaving us Mia because she's old now. She has to go make dinner for her husband and her five-year old. Oh the joys of being a house wife."

"You know what? You are the only on here who is married" I said to Andy. "You are the one who lives with the boyfriend who cooks and cleans all day. So shut up." I said picking at the food Andy was making.

"Bye I'll see you later." I left without letting them respond.

I remembered the envelope that was for Elliot. I was going to just get it tomorrow but I would probably forget so I decided to drive to my office and get it now it wasn't too late. I was getting out of my car when Elliot called.

"Hey baby do you mind if we get Chinese today?" He asked. I was kind of glad he offered to get food because I wasn't in the mood to cook. I just wanted to go home and take a nap.

"No it's fine. I had to get something from my office. Can you get me some egg rolls and get-" some one had pushed me against the wall of the building. The person had their forearm against my neck and they were cutting off my air supply.

"Where the fuck did you take her?" I tried to push their arm away but they were to strong. "Where is she you bitch? What did you do to her?" The man was screaming. He grabbed my shoulders pulling me forward then slamming me into the wall. My head bounced a little. He slammed me into the wall a few times. When I tried to kick him he pressed his body into mine so I wouldn't move.

"Who? I don't... know... who.." I couldn't talk. His hand was on my neck now. I tried to scream for help but he elbowed the side of my head. I whimpered when he forcefully tilted my head to look at him. He was tall. My eyes were at his shoulders. That means he was about 5'7" I think maybe more. Elliot was 6' but he wasn't as big as Elliot. He had dark hair and green eyes. He had an upturn nose. I looked at his face trying to remember as much of it as I could so that if I had to talk to the police I could describe him accurately. He had a birth mark on his neck shaped like a football. Details, I had to remember details. Hopefully I could live to tell someone these damn details I was focusing on. His grip on my neck became looser but he was still pushing me into the wall. My head was hurting.

"She was mine. What did you do to her?"

I realized he wouldn't let go so I tried to get him to answer me. "Who?"

"That whores daughter. Where the fuck is she?" He slammed me into the wall again.

"Hey. Lina!" Billy one of my co workers had come out and was running towards us. The man slammed me into the wall one last time then ran off. I fell to the ground clutching my neck. "Shit Lina who was that? Are you okay?" He helped me up. He grabbed my things off the floor and pulled me into the office. He was practically carrying me because my headache was making me dizzy. After I sat down billy went to another room only to return with a first aid kit. I pushed him away when he cleaned the cut on my lip saying that I could do it myself. When my phone rang from the desk where he placed it.

"Hello? No she's okay. She's beat up a bit but she's in the building now. Let me ask her. Elliot wants to talk to you." Billy said as he looked at me. I didn't pay attention I was too busy cleaning my cut on my head. "She's not okay. I'm just going to drive her to the hospital." I looked up at him and shook my head. I didn't want to go to a hospital. I was fine.I motioned for billy to give me the phone.

" Elliot?"

"What happened are you okay?" He was about to ask another question but I stopped him.

"I'm fine I'm going home. I'll talk to you when I get there. Ill get a cab."

"No don't I'm almost there. I'm serious Lina don't fucking leave the office okay. I'm 5 minutes away."

"Okay I'll se you here." Before he could panic more I hung up and closed my eyes. Billy had to wait outside the building to let Elliot in when he arrived.

Elliot came in and kneeled in front of me. "Shit baby what happened?" He moved my hands which were covering my face. He pushed my hair away to look at where he hit me.

"It's okay. I'm fine. Can we just go home?" I got up and he followed me in shock. I don't think he expected me to just be able to walk. I didn't need a doctor I just wanted to go home. He started to protest about now going to the hospital but I stopped him. "Please El, I just need to go home. Please." He agreed.

"Let's take your car baby. It's not as high as mine. Come on Izzy." Isabelle was on the outside of Billy's office. He took her hand and we walked out. I tried to walk ahead of them so Isabelle wouldn't see my face. Billy had already left when he knew someone was here. "Baby your head is bleeding. At least let me call my mom."

"No Elliot. Just stop okay? I don't want to go to a fucking hospital. Just take me home. Or if you don't want to take me home then I'll call a cab and stay somewhere else." I was upset. I didn't want to take it out on him but he was pissing me off. Isabelle was taken back by my language. I was usually very good about not cursing in front of her but I was tired of today. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have snapped at you." I said looking at him and then walking to the car. He unlocked the car with the button. I got in and closed my eyes. He put Isabelle in her seat then went to his seat. Without another word he drove us home.

My lip was starting to sting. I was trying really hard not to lean my head back so I wouldn't get blood on the seat. My head was throbbing. I tried really hard not to be emotional but it wasn't working. I was scared. Elliot was just taking care of me.

He parked inside his garage and walked to the other side to help me out. "Thanks" I told him. I didn't wait for him or Isabelle I just walked into the house. I got half way up the stairs when I tripped and hit my knee.

"Mommy? Are you sick mommy?" Isabelle was behind me. I didn't have enough energy to get up but I didn't want to bother Elliot who was down stairs serving the food. "I can tell daddy." I nodded my head. I heard her go to Elliot "mommy fell on the stairs" Something fell and I heard footsteps.

"You okay? Let me help." He carried me up stairs setting me on the bed. I tried to lay down but he stopped me. Couldn't he see that I was tired. "You can't sleep you might have a concussion. Stay awake okay. Just talk to Isabelle." He stepped outside for a few minutes and came back with water. Isabelle was just staring at me. I didn't want to talk but Elliot asked Isabelle questions so that I could focus on their conversation. Isabelle was scared because she wasn't openly telling us about her day. His phone rang so he had to step out to answer it. When he left I rested my eyes and leaned on my pillow. I closed my eyes. "Hey what are you doing? You have to stay awake. My mom is going to look you over." Grace was in our room with her bag. I don't know what she did but after she was done she said I was fine, just in shock.

"Just help her wash off while I take care of Isabelle."

Elliot helped me into the shower and as gently as possible, he rinsed my hair. I thought about the last time we were in the shower. Last night he had me bent over and came inside me from behind. Twenty-four hours later he was cleaning dried blood off my head. "Thank you for taking care of me." I whispered to him. He turned off the water then proceeded to dry my body.

"Carolina if I was taking care of you, you wouldn't be in this situation." He was disappointed in himself. Men always had to feel like they were needed. Earlier when I was pushing him away I made it seem like I didn't need him. But I did need him. I just didn't want to go to a hospital.

"Thank you for loving me." I don't know what I did to have him but I was sure I didn't deserve him. He looked at me and sighed.

"You don't need to thank me for that." He was putting lotion on my legs.

"Thank you for caring for me now." I was getting tears. Seeing him like this with me was making me very emotional.

He stood and looked at my eyes. "I'll always try to take care of you. I thought something happened to you. I thought I wouldn't see you again. God Lina i was fucking scared. I can't lose you baby." He pulled to him then kissed me. I winced when his lips came in contact with my cut lip. "Shit sorry." He put on my favorite bottoms and one of his shirts. He knew I prefer to wear his clothes over mine. Before walking out I grabbed his old college hoodie and pulled it on. "Are you cold?"

"No but this shirt is white and my nipples show. Your mom is downstairs." He smiled at that.

"I like when your nipples show." He said smiling.

"So do I but only when we are alone." I smacked his ass when I passed him to go downstairs.

"What's for dinner?" I asked when we got downstairs.

Grace answered,"Elliot brought Chinese". I looked at Isabelle who was sitting in the table looking scared. I pulled the chair next to her out and motioned for her to sit on my lap.

She had tears on her face. Her face was pressed into my chest while I stroked her hair. "I'm sorry I scared you sweetie. I wasn't feeling good but I'm okay now."

I hugged her tighter. "You're not going to die?"

"No. I wasn't feeling good but Grace is a doctor and she made me feel better." Honestly the pain relievers Grace gave me weren't doing a great job but at least I could move without feeling like my head exploded. "I'm not going to die sweetie. I love you so much." When she was calm again Elliot walked to us.

"Baby let's go eat yeah?"

"Okay." Isabelle and I said at the same time. Elliot called us both baby so we didn't know who he was asking. It didn't matter we both got a plate of food then returned to the dining table. Isabelle sat as close to me as possible. When we finished eating I told Isabelle to take her shower and then she could come down again.

"Dear you don't have to do that let me help." Grace wouldn't let me so much as to lift a finger. She did however boss Elliot around making him do the dishes. He was really impressed with himself when he only broke one dish.

"How did you survive before I came into your life?" They both laughed.

"I would use plastic plates or I hired my neighbors kids to clean my house when I was at golf with dad."

"Elliot. You're thirty years old. How can you not clean your own house." Grace scolded him.

"What? They needed money for some shit they wanted to buy but their parents don't let them get a job. So I paid them on Saturdays to clean my house. Now they just clean the backyard. Since Carolina cleans everything else. It's not that I don't like to clean. It's not just that I don't clean but I was helping them out. It's like what Christian did for Elena. You can't be mad at me." I notice Grace winces when Elliot mentions Elena.

"Who's Elena?" I ask.

"She's my mom friend." Oh I don't see what's so bad about that but from Graces reaction something happened there.

"Well do you two have all your Christmas shopping done?" Grace tells us.

"Yup." Elliot says.

"Almost I just need one more person." I tell them.

"Who do you need maybe we can help." Grace tells me.

I point at Elliot.

Elliot laughs. "Baby I told you what I wanted. Don't ask mom, you don't want to know."

"But I want to get you something else that's kind of an obvious present. You know you are no help. I'll be back I have to go to the bathroom." I tell them. I felt like I had to tell them what I was going to do because they were starting to follow me everywhere. I didn't mind it but using the bathroom I could do on my own.

When I went back the mood changed. "Baby do you know who it was today? Did they say anything?"

I shook my head then told them what he kept asking me. I agreed to talk to the police the next day after I called billy to make sure he would back me up. As shaken up from today as I was there wasn't much I could do. I didn't know who or what the person wanted.

Grace left shortly after making sure I didn't have a concussion. As usual Elliot and I went to Isabelle's room and tucked her in. I decided not to go into work until two days after Christmas because of the bruising on my head. I took a vacation day that I haven't used since I first started working.

When Elliot and I went to bed we made love slowly. I needed him and he needed me. At first he was hesitant because he didn't want to hurt me but I assured him that I was fine. And I was fine.

In the middle of the night I heard a knock on the door. I wasn't surprised to see Isabelle since she is the only person in this house who isn't in our room.

"My tummy hurts."

"Oh sweetie. Come here let's go to the bathroom. If you want to throw up, throw up in the toilet okay?" She nodded her head. I was looking through out the bathroom trying to find something to give her but most medication we had was only for adults. I heard her throw up so I stopped my search to go with her. I didn't want to act grossed out but people vomiting , even if it my daughter, was disgusting. I close my eyes and held my breath. I kept rubbing her back so she would know I'm there. Elliot walked into the bathroom but then rushed out when he saw Isabelle. He was naked. He came back in a minute later with some pajama bottoms. I couldn't help but stare at his perfect body. She was dry heaving now. Elliot had a much stronger stomach than me so we changed places. I told him I was going to get her some water. He nodded his head.

While I was down stairs I searched for medicine with no luck. I would have to buy her some. When I went to find her again Isabelle was on the bathroom floor crying. I gave her water and her tooth brush I picked up on my way here.

"Hey I'm going to buy some medicine for her. It was probably the Chinese that upset her stomach."

"No Lina I'll go just tell me what to get I don't want you out alone right now. We can't leave her alone and we can't take her." I was about to protest but I didn't want to. This wasn't a fight worth fighting. I told him what to get her. I picked up the little patient and sat her on our bed. Elliot didn't like her sleeping on the bed but today he was making an exception. She didn't fall asleep she was just frowning. Elliot came back with the medicine just as Isabelle ran to the bathroom. When she was done Elliot and I had to hold her down so she would drink the medicine. I didn't blame her for not liking it it tasted like shit. He carried her to our bed where she fell asleep. Elliot and I curled up on the couch in the room watching her.

I woke up on the bed next to Isabelle. Elliot probably carried me here. I was dizzy again. I walked into the bathroom and my stomach was hurting. I threw up in the toilet just like Isabelle had. Elliot walked in. He was really being amazing lately. More than usual.

"Thanks." He handed me a glass of water. I brushed my teeth and went downstairs to where Isabelle was curled on the couch watching tv. She was trying really hard to stay away but she was tired. I paid next to her.

"You two okay?" Elliot said when he came down.

"Yes were fine. Are you?"

"Yea I have a strong stomach." I smiled at that.

"Do you want me to make you some breakfast? Are you going to work? It's already 7."

"No not with both of you sick. I can just get some cereal. Do you need anything?" We shook our heads. I wanted to make him breakfast but if I stood up then I would get nauseous again. "Do you mind if I eat in here?"

"Of course not." He ate on the floor next to us. We sat in silence as we watched some cartoon Isabelle liked. It was really stupid. I'd rather watch something else. When she started snoring We changed it to some movie Elliot liked. The rest of the day was spent with Eliot trying to get us to eat something and Isabelle and I throwing up. This is why I like to cook. I didn't trust someone else's food. Especially Chinese. There is only one place in Seattle that makes good Chinese take out.

I really appreciate Elliot more after today. I was no where closer to finding his Christmas present.

* * *

**I still don't know what the presents should be or else this would have been the Christmas chapter. Beside the proposal and a pregnancy test what else should be the present. Don't forget to review. **


	23. Chapter 23

It was really cold today. I didn't want to get up but I knew I would have to. We had agreed to meet at Andy's house before going to Christmas dinner. Once I was dressed, I made my way to her house. I was late, as usual, so it was dark when I got there but at least there was no rain

I knew something was up the moment I walked in. There were petals on the ground. I didn't know what they were for but I followed them. They led to the deck.

The deck was covered in rose petals and the edge had dozens of candles. It was beautiful. I turned and saw my boyfriend who took my hand.

"Carolina Reid, from the moment I saw you, I knew that you would be the love of my life. I know that life will get crazy but there is no one I would rather go though it with. Will you marry me?"

I gasped as I saw him get down on one knee. I looked at the ring. I looked back at him. I think I said yes because next thing I know I was being swept off the floor. My family came out from hiding to congratulate us. My mother was a mess but she couldn't stop smiling, or taking pictures.

"Come here I want to show you something." I followed Damien outside to where a motorcycle was parked. I saw him get on the bike. I should stop him. I tried to but I was frozen I couldn't move. I tried to scream and say that he shouldn't go but he couldn't listen. The familiar scene played out. There was a crash. Followed by sirens and people running. When I saw his body I screamed. I somehow found my voice but it was too late. He was already dead.

"I'm sorry! Don't go! Please don't leave me."

"Wake up Lina." Someone was moving me. I felt my body shake.

"The baby. He was going to get on the bike we have to stop him. The brakes. I have to go. We're having a baby." I tried to get up but someone was holding me back. I hit who ever was there. I had to do something to stop him. I hit the person again but they pinned me down.

"Carolina. Wake up! It's a dream. Look at me." The person grabbed my face causing me to focus. Blue eyes. Damien didn't have blue eyes. That was a dream, or a memory. Elliot. I was with Elliot. I stopped struggling. I looked around. We were in our bedroom. Elliot was straddling me holding me down. I closed my eyes trying to catch my breath. "You're okay baby. Everything is okay."

I nodded my head. I wasn't really sure if everything was okay though. "I'm sorry. It was a bad dream."

"I know you were screaming. I've never seen you like that. Is there anything I can do?" I shook my head. I felt terrible. Not just about the dream but of the situation. Here I was sleeping with Elliot and I have a dream about my deceased husband. I felt guilt. I was betraying Elliot in the worst way.

"No I'm okay. Just hold me. Don't leave me. I don't have those dreams often but when I do they're bad. I was remembering how he proposed. Then we went out and he got on the bike and I just saw the accident again. I tried to stop him but he just drove away. There was nothing I could do but watch. I'm sorry I'm rambling."

"I don't mind you rambling. Your cute when you ramble. Can I get off? You're not going to hit me again?" He said smirking.

"I might. Get off and we'll see." I smiled at him. I stood up next to him and swayed. He noticed and steadied me. "Sorry head rush." I went to the bathroom to take a shower. "Elliot! What time do we have to be at your mom's?" He walked in next to me and got in the shower. "Seriously Elliot. I was going to take a shower you couldn't wait?" Living with Elliot has really opened my eyes to little annoying things he does. Like drinking from the carton and not throwing it in the trash. Or taking dishes to his office and never bringing them back to the kitchen. Leaving his keys anywhere in the house then cursing all morning because he can't find them. There is also the usual toilet seat he just cant put down. Then there was the shower. He would always jump in right as I about to get in knowing full well that I was going in first. I usually didn't mind taking a shower together but I needed to shave today and a shower with Elliot was just... distracting.

"Then get in."

"I need to shave my legs. I'll go to a different bathroom."he walked up behind me while I got my robe to carry me to the shower. He was wet. I would have tried to fight him off but I would have lost. He set me down in the middle of the shower.

"I need morning sex baby." He said as he started kissing my neck. I had to smile because I loved that he could just be so forward with me. Since he worked so early I was never in the mood when he got up. During the weekend, we always made up for the sex we couldn't have during the week.

"Well then consider this your Christmas present, carry on."  
I moved my head so that my lips were on his. I could feel him smiling as we kissed. I opened my mouth and his tongue found mine. I felt his fingers grazing my sides until he was at my thighs. He lifted me so I wrapped my legs around his body. He was trying to be gentle because of my head but he was really horny this morning.

His lips moved to my neck then my breasts. He took my nipple in his mouth making me moan. I felt his tongue move in circles around then pull on it. "Ah!" His teeth must have bit too hard on it.

"Sorry." His hand started palming my breast. "Are you sensitive today?" I nodded my head. I pulled his head so I could kiss him again. That only lasted so long because he was kissing my breasts again. I felt him lower my body slightly so that his dick was at my entrance. As he entered me his hand went to my jaw to angle my head to he could kiss me. I pulled at his hair so he moved closer. He started moving inside me. It wasn't enough, I needed more of him. He set me down and turned me so I'd face the wall. He was sucking on my neck while his hands moved from my breast to my stomach out toward my hips. His mouth was sucking hard on the skin of my neck. He entered me again. He kept thrusting inside me.

"Faster." I told him. He pushed me so I was leaning forward holding on the rail in the bathroom. With his hands moving my hips, he started going faster. "Yes Elliot" he lifted my leg so it was one of the most awkward positions but I felt him deeper inside me. I flexed my insides causing his nails to dig into the skin on my hips. "Oh god faster Elliot" he obliged. He went faster until I came again and again. I flexed my insides over and over so when he finally came he came loud, filling me. I felt his liquid pour into me. He let my leg fall down. He turned me to face him and kissed me slowly causing my knees to go weak but he made sure I didn't fall.

He recovered much faster than me. I stood in the shower catching my breath as he washed my hair and put in conditioner. Then he grabbed the soap and razor and proceeded to shave my legs for me. By the time he was down I was almost functioning. Well truthfully I was fine after the shampoo but watching him shave my legs was somewhat erotic. It was an intimacy we have not yet reached. He ran his hands down my legs a few times to make sure he didn't miss any spot. I bent down to press my lips to his. He stood up and turned the water off. He passed me my bathrobe then wrapped a towel around himself. He kissed my neck again making a face.

"I'll let you get dressed. I'll get Izzy up and showered. What is she wearing?" He said as he got dressed into some sweatpants.

"Just give her something simple for now I'll put her dress on before we leave so she shows up clean. And give her breakfast. Do you want me to make breakfast?"

"No it's okay get ready." I was going to take his offer but I changed my mind.

"Actually I'll make breakfast. It's our first Christmas Eve together. We should eat breakfast together. Just get her showered." I kissed him one last time before he left.

As much as I loved our shower sex I felt guilt about dreaming about Damien's proposal. Today was just another holiday he wouldn't get to see. All because I chose the wrong gift. Thinking about Damien always reminded me of home.

Every time I call my mom I always end up feeling guilty about not being with them. I already felt like shit about my self. I figured why not add to it.

The phone ringed 8 times before some one answered. "Hello?" It was Virginia my older of two sisters. I could tell because her voice was a lot higher pitched than my other sister.

"Virginia? Hi it's me." I heard a lot of squealing and some footsteps. She must be running to get my parents. I had to smile at myself. Although I wouldn't go home I loved that they made such a big deal of my phone calls.

"Ugh you had to call now? Every one left me alone. I guess I do sleep in late but they could have at least let me know you know? Anyways how you been? I miss ya. We all do. When are you coming home. Those damn Nash men finally shut up about things so everything is okay now. Me and the family visit Damien every once in a while in your honor but you should come. How's your Christmas. Gosh I wish mama was here. Why don't I just call her on my cell tell her to come home."

"Virginia! Gosh little girl you never breathe." I heard her giggle over the line. "Why don't I call back in an hour. I promise I will." After I kept repeating that I promised to call her back she finally hung up. I went down stairs to make Elliot and I an omelet and Isabelle her usual Saturday breakfast, even if it wasn't Saturday, chocolate chip pancakes.

"Today is Christmas?" Isabelle asked.

"No tomorrow is Christmas but we are having dinner today with daddy's family. Then we are coming home and ... what are we doing?" I didn't realized I had no idea what was going on today. I just knew we were going to dinner. But I didn't know whether the present opening was happening here or there.

"We have dinner there, my parents give us each one present. Us three are coming back home for the night and morning so we can see what Santa brings us. And tomorrow we will go for dinner to parents. Unless you want to change anything."

"No everything is okay. But why are we the only ones leaving your parents?" I didn't want his parents to think that I was making his son leave them. I know how much he loves being with them and it's not like I have other commitments.

"I just want Isabelle to open her presents here. I think that since it's our first holiday together we should get some time alone. I don't know what Mia or Christian are doing. I think they are staying at my parents house." I nodded my head.

"Do you mind if tomorrow before we go to your parents we go to Andy's so I can drop off their presents?"

"No problem." When we were done eating Elliot offered to clean up while I got ready. I put on my makeup and called my sister again while my hair dried. I talked to all my family except our little sister who was at a friend's. I was laying down in bed enjoying talking to my mom when she asked who I'm going to be with tomorrow. Elliot walked into the room at the same time. Elliot knew I was skeptical about telling my mom I was dating someone so as far as my family knew I was still single. "Actually mama I'm not spending this year with Andy."

"Why not? Are you two fightin'? I know how you two love to argue but it's Christmas. And I just don't want you alone on a day like that." I think she was about to cry.

"I'm kind of seeing someone mama." She was silent. "I've been with him for a few months so I'm going to his family's dinner tonight. Mama?"

"Oh little girl, I'm happy for you. Who is he?"

"His names Elliot. He's 31. He works in construction. He's..."

"That's good. Does he treat you good little girl?" Elliot was sitting in front of me smiling. He's been bugging me about calling my mom so now that I have he feels better about our relationship. Because I wasn't hiding from my family.

"He loves me." He pressed his lips to my hand. I cupped his face then ran my thumb over his lips.

"Good." My mother was choked up now. I thought I would add to it.

"I'm in love with him." I heard my mom cry over the phone. I took the phone away from my face to kiss Elliot briefly. "Elliot says hi by the way.

"He's with you now?"

"Yea he's watching me." I narrow my eyes at him.

"Can I talk to him?" I sit up straight.

"No you can not talk to him! You'll scare him away." She was going to say something when Elliot grabbed the phone and walked out. He made it to his office and closed the door before I could say anything. After five minutes I gave up on trying to break in and finished straightening my hair.

My hair was to my mid back now since I've grown it out for two years now. Half an hour later Elliot handed me my phone.

"Your mom said thank you for the presents. She hasn't opened them but she said thanks anyways. And your dad said merry Christmas." I looked at him in shock.

"You talk to my father?"

"Yea he threatened to cut off my dick. In detail. Very interesting man." I nodded my head. I know when Damien and I started dating he had the same conversation with him.

"That means he liked you."

"What if he didn't?"

"He would be on the first plane here." I said smirking. I turned my head to the side to see if I had my makeup even. When I turned I gasped.

"What?"Elliot said.

"You son of a bitch. Look what you did?" I said pointed to where the hickey on my neck was starting to form. "Elliot what am I suppose to do?" I said in a whiney voice. I was putting makeup on it but even then you could easily spot it. "Seriously Elliot? What the hell are your parents going to think?" I'm sure Grace knew we had sex but I didn't want her to think badly of me.

"My mother is going to think that I love you. That, would just be proof that I can't keep my hands off you." He stood behind me, his hands going down my arms. I didn't respond because I was still kind of mad at the hickey he gave me. "Can you blame me though?" He whispered in my ear. It took all my self-control not to respond to his touch. "Your sexy baby. Everything about you." He was kissing my neck so slowly. I caved into him just a bit by leaning my head to the side. "Can I show you?" I opened my eyes. To look at him in the mirror.

"Show me what?"

"What I see" I was confused but I trust him. I gave one nod. I saw him smile and watched as his hands moved to my hips. His hands moved inside my shirt and caressed my skin. "Trust me." I did trust him. I let him remove my shirt. I watched as he bent down to remove my pants and panties in one swift motion. I stepped out of my clothes. "We don't have much time. Isabelle can only be distracted for so long, so you can't argue with what I say. Just listen." He was looking at my legs. Thanks to his shaving they were soft and silky. His hands ran on the outside of my legs.

"You work out. In the month that you've been here I've never seen you run or anything like that. But I can tell you do. Because your calf muscles flex when you walk. And your thighs." His voice was slow and husky. I felt his lips at my thighs. They were slowly kissing their way up until he got to hips. "I love your hips. And waist." When ever he would say a body part his hands moved to where he was talking about. Since his head was rested on my shoulder, I reached back to caress his head and touch his hair. "Now, I've always been fascinated by tits in general but yours... are perfect." He cupped them. His hands completely covered my full breasts lifting them so my cleavage was more noticeable.

I opened my eyes and found that he was looking at my face. He held eye contact while he spoke. "They're amazing. Have they always been this size?"

"Mm... No, they were smaller a few years ago." I said as he played with my breasts more. He squeezed, hard.

"But they are real?" I smiled at that. When I nodded my head he squeezed again. I think he was trying to feel for any implants. "When did they change?" His lips were at my shoulder but the eye contact remained.

"When I got pregnant." I didn't know what or how he would respond. That was the truth though. When I got pregnant, they doubled in size and never when down.

"Well I love them," he squeezed and pushed on them so that my body pressed into his harder. When my breasts were out of his hands, his hands moved slowly down to my belly button. "This is this from the c-section?"

"Yes." I wasn't liking the flash backs. Luckily he noticed from my stiffness. He moved his hand to my neck. His hands were gentle when they moved to shape out my ear, my eyes and my nose.

"But you know the best part. My favorite part." I just noticed how hard I was breathing. I've never had this intimacy with anyone. He was touching me with so much love. He was so tender and caring. He turned me around.

"Your lips." He reached to press his lips into mine softly. He pulled away. "Your hair so silky baby and long. I love it. I love you." He kissed me again for a few minutes. There was no hands no tongues just our lips moving in perfect sync. "Everything about you. I know you'd never admit it." Another kiss. "But you're self-cautious. You don't need to be." Now he used his hands. He had a hand behind my head with his fingers in my hair. "So sexy," his fingers tightened on my hair and pulled my head back but continued to kiss me like his life depended on it.

"Tonight baby I'm gonna show you how sexy your body is. And that mouth of yours baby," he didn't have to continue. I knew exactly what he wanted from my mouth, and truth be told I was anxious to taste him again. I kissed him again, before I pulled back.

"Tonight." I smiled at him. "I'm still mad at you for the hickey." I said with a serious face. He started laughing. "Okay well it's already two. We slept in a lot today and your mom wanted us there early right what time do you guys usually eat?"

"Five. So we have time. Let me get dressed. Do you need anything in the car? Can I drive your car? I should get one of those Bentleys. One day I'm going to fuck you in that car." God I hope so. We've had sex plenty of places in this house but car sex is something new. For me anyways.

"Soon baby. But I need you to take your parent's presents. Unless you want to take them tomorrow." He went into his closet to get dressed. " Elliot I have a question for you." I heard him respond. "Have you ever had sex in a car?" He stopped shuffling around. "I'm curious."

"Yea. You? Don't answer I don't want to know."

"I haven't. Ready?" I don't know why I asked, I wasn't even ready.

"Almost. I'm going to get Isabelle dressed." I stopped my doing my hair to look at him. He looked hot. Very hot. I didn't mind seeing Elliot where up jeans everyday but he was earring slacks and a button down shirt, with a jacket. He was actually trying to look nice. I almost didn't recognize him. I was going to just let him walk away but instead I walked up to him to give him a lingering kiss. He smirked when I pulled back, he knew very well how good he looked. "I dress up once and that's all I get?" I know he was being sarcastic but when I saw him it was like a switch went off. I was needy. I needed him inside me, now. I took off the robe I was wearing and sat on the bathroom counter with my legs open.

He didn't hesitate standing between my legs. I almost didn't want to undress him but I was needy for him. I undid the belt on his pants then the button. They fell down instantly. I groaned at the thought of him inside me. I pulled his boxers down while he took the jacket off. I took his penis in my hand and rubbed him over my core. "Fuck Lina. So fucking wet baby. Were doing this fast baby. Put your feet on the counter." I put my feet up so that I was completely exposed to him. He entered me and started thrusting. There was no gentle movements now. I leaned back on my elbows as his movement became faster.

"So close El," I felt him get closer too. I tightened around him so he slowed down. He would pull out completely only to slam into me. Again and again. His hips moved side to side and we reached our breaking point. I threw my head back enjoying the high. I felt him release inside me saying my name in his sexy husky voice he reserves for sex only.

He pulled my ankles down and pulled out. I whimpered so he thought he had hurt me. He didn't I just hate when he pulls out. It made me feel empty. "I should dress like that more often if it's going to cause you to attack me like that." I would have smiled if my body wasn't still recovering.

I watched, still immobile, as he got dresses again. He finished dressing and said he would get Isabelle dressed. When she was dressed she would come upstairs so I could do her hair.

He left the room and I smiled. God, I love Elliot. I love our sex life.

I was wearing a fitting black dress with black garter and stocking that matched my bra. All black. I put my shoes in a chair while I cleaned the room waiting for Isabelle.

"Hi. Do you like my dress?" I don't know why she asked I picked it out. Then I saw her and she looked so cute. So happy.

"Aw look at you you look so cute baby." I had to laugh when I saw her blush. "Are you excited for today and tomorrow we get to see daddy's family. And you get presents. You also get to wear a very pretty dress. It's going t be really fun."

"Are we going to sleep over there?" I went over our plan again. She didn't seem very excited but I think that was because she didn't know exactly what was going on. She never had a holiday like this. Well I don't think she did. I finished with her hair, put our shoes on and made our way downstairs. "Let's go daddy." Elliot was siting on the couch waiting for us. I was glad he had some form of entertainment. When I was younger I remember my father would yell at all of us so that be would get ready. It used to piss me off. But Elliot was just sitting waiting to go. He looked surprised when he saw me. I asked him if my outfit wasn't appropriate but he said it was.

"You just look hot. I've never seen you wear a dress, not like that." Why was he stuttering. He never stutters. My dress was fitted all the way down until it stopped mid thigh. It had see through top and sleeves. I didn't think it was sexy that why I would it. But based on Elliot's reaction it must have been.

"You want to touch it it's very soft." I told him in a teasing tone. He stepped forward when Isabelle spoke up.

"Ohh it's supper soft mommy." We both remember of her presence so any more touching would have to wait. We walked to the car together. Elliot's hand was on the small of my back but I felt him move to my behind.

One thing I noticed was that Elliot was very affectionate towards me. He would always be touching me, kissing me whatever he could. 80 percent of the time I didn't mind but sometimes it was too much with all the sucking. Kissing I didn't mind but as long as there was no tongue action I didn't care. At first I didn't respond but now I go along with it.

On the drive to his parent's house he held my hand and every so often would kiss my hand. I reached over when the car stopped and kissed his cheek or his neck. I could hear Isabelle snickering in the back watching us but at least she would know I loved her dad. And I did, I was crazy about Elliot, especially after this morning.

When we got to Elliot's house, I followed Grace into the kitchen where she talked to me about how Elliot used to always run around naked on Christmas mornings because he was too excited to get dressed. "The first year we had Christmas with him it was only the three of us. He wasn't hurt like Christian was. His parents died so he was very upset. His grandmother, she was very ill so she couldn't care for him. I met him a few times when his parents would visit his grandmother in the hospital. When they died she asked me to find him a nice home. So I brought him here. At first he regarded myself as one of his aunts but later he would call me mom. It's a beautiful feeling the first time you child calls you mom. I hope you and my son feel that joy one day. Soon, preferably." I had to laugh at her comment.

"We already had that joy." I smiled at her. Isabelle was like a daughter to me. And Elliot would soon be her father. No one knew of his plans to adopt her yet but he was serious about it. He contacted an adoption lawyer and the paper work would begin next calendar year.

"Lina, I know now isn't the best time but I have to ask you something." I nodded for her to continue. "Elliot has told me that Isabelle will become a permanent member of our family. I'm not sure if he will formally adopt her or not but she isn't going anywhere." Grace must be reading my mind. But there is a serious tone to her that makes me nervous. "Are you ready for that? To date someone with a child. I am sure that isn't what you envisioned for your life. My job as his mother and now her grandmother is to make sure that the people in their life are good for them. I think you are wonderful for my son and you behave adequately with Isabelle but are you sure you want to be with them. It will only hurt her if you leave. If it becomes too much." I was taken back by her words. I wasn't aware that I had given her some sign that I wasn't serious about them.

"Grace, I don't really understand. I love them. I know he is committed to her and me. I... You do know I live with Elliot now right? I wouldn't move in if I wasn't sure about our relationship. Every aspect of it." Grace stepped back to look at me. Her face showed shock.

"I didn't know. How long have you lived with him?"

"About a month now." Just then Elliot walked in giving me a loud, indecent kiss. I tried to pull away for Grace's sake but he cornered me and kissed me again parting my mouth with his tongue. I grabbed his arms to push him but he misread my sign and moved his hands to cup my behind. I couldn't help but melt into his touch.

I'm sure Grace walked out. I hoped so anyways. I pulled on his jacket to move him closer. When I started getting into it he pulls away only to lead me upstairs to what I assume is his bedroom. With out stopping I am pushed on the wall. Our kiss is fast with no real direction or leader. It's just tongues and lips moving fast. Someone clears their throat so Elliot jumps back to find his grandfather his room. It's definitely Elliot's room because there are things from his old school on the wall. I'm sure my face is red of embarrassment.

"You mother said we could use your room since you don't use it. We are staying here today and your room is the biggest. But I don't know what you do in here. I'm not so sure I want to stay here." He was teasing Elliot. Elliot stood his ground though. There was no shame in his eyes. I however was hiding behind Elliot's large frame. I wanted to die. Or at least have the ground swallow me. I was in shock when Theodore started giving Elliot advice on how to fondle me and lure me into bed. Elliot being the great grandchild he was, listened intently forgetting that not even two minutes ago his hands were on my ass and his erection pressed on my stomach. I as discreetly as possible exited the room letting the two men talk. They didn't notice.

As much as I love Elliot's affectionate ways, I was still embarrassed to face Grace again. I decided on having a minute of coward ness. I went to the dining room to make sure the table was set, even though I knew it was.

I found Isabelle hiding under the table. I figured she was playing hide and seek with some one until I heard her sniffling. I moved a chair and went under the table next to her. I used my elbow to nudge hers. She looked at me. Her eyes broke my heart. She was crying. I put my arm around her so that she would feel comforted in some way. For a few moments I just held her.

"Do you want to tell me why you're sad?" She sniffles again. I tried to squeeze her body again so she could trust me. She did trust me.

"We didn't make a cake. Mommy and me used to make cakes on Christmas because I couldn't get presents." Shit. I didn't even consider what, if there was some tradition that her and her mother had. I don't know if it was too late to make a cake but I sure as hell was going to try.

"Why don't you and I get up so we can make one. We can put merry Christmas mommy Stephanie on the cake so she knows its for her. How about that?" She shook her head. No one could take her moms place, myself included. I was hurt that she said no but I wouldn't pressure her.

"We're not at our house. It's is gramma house."

"We can ask her. Maybe she will say yes if we tell her why. If she says no we can do it tomorrow at our house."

"You're gonna ask her?" I assured her that I would ask Grace.

Grace of course agreed easily. I didn't know how to make a cake from scratch so Mia helped. When Elliot came down from talking to his grandfather he helped as well. Mostly it was Mia doing the baking but we mixed it all together. Unfortunately Isabelle didn't smile much. She didn't cry but I don't think she was happy. Ana and Christian arrived very late but Ana was sporting a tight dress that flaunted her small bump, which Christian was more than happy to show off. Besides Mia no one helped. They watched but they let us three have our family moment helping our daughter cope without her mother this first year. When it was done and Mia had expertly written on the cake with frosting, Isabelle started crying. Elliot took her in his arms, upstairs. He said he was going to be in his room. I didn't want to be rude so I started cleaning the kitchen until Ana and Mia told me they could do it. I wasn't going to argue because I needed to be with Isabelle.

Elliot was on his bed with Isabelle on his lap, her arms around his neck. She was silently crying. All I did, all I could do was hold her hand.

"I love you so much baby. I'm sorry you have to be sad. I wish I could make you feel better." I kissed her head. "Did you take the Levi's bag out of my trunk?" Elliot said no.

I was going to give Isabelle this present later but I think now would be better. It might cheer her up. Inside the brown bag was a jewelry box for a necklace. The first day I went to Isabelle's house, I saw that Stephanie had on a necklace. It was white gold locket. I took it for Isabelle before anyone noticed. My plan was to give it to her. As I became closer to Elliot and her, I never found the right time to give it to her. Now seemed perfect.

"Can you open this. I know you're sad but maybe this will make you a little happy." I saw as she opened it then looked at it. "This was your mommy Stephanie's. Do you like it. Here let me open it." I saw the corners of her mouth pull up but she was resisting. Elliot was looking at me, I shrugged. Inside was a picture of Stephanie and Isabelle. She held it tightly in her fist then cuddled back with Elliot.

We were upstairs for nearly an hour just waiting for Isabelle to do something but in the end she only fell asleep. Elliot set her down on the bed to sleep while we went back down. We talked briefly about what else we could do but there wasn't anything. We figured if she just naps for a while then she'll be better for dinner.

We sat in the living room with everyone else just talking about things. Although I was still worried about Isabelle I did enjoy my time with everyone else. I felt Elliot place his hand on my thigh.

"You think she's okay?" He asked me.

I nodded my head looking at him. He leaned in to kiss me but the short peck turned into opened mouth kiss. That lead to his hand slowly sliding up the inside of my thigh. I pulled back rolling my eyes at him. I placed my hand on his, moving his hand back to my knee. "Later." I told him.

Everyone was looking away from us. I really couldn't help myself to Elliot. I loved him.

Dinner was pretty usual. Elliot being touchy, Christian glaring at Luke. Mia glaring at Christian. And there was an argument Christian was starting with Luke but he stopped when he saw how upset it made Ana. I woke Isabelle so she would join us. She woke up being her usually energetic self. She was still somewhat upset but not like before. She sat between me and Ana. She didn't talk to me though. I was with her everyday so talking to me wasn't as exciting as talking to Ana. They talked a lot about Ana's baby. She got pretty excited that she was going to have a cousin soon.

After dinner Grace and Carrick gave the three of us our present since it was getting late. Isabelle was really excited about some toy she got because it was just what she wanted. I wasn't even aware that she had a Christmas list, but apparently it was her top gift. Elliot knew about the list but he didn't mention it to me.  
Back at the house I was getting Isabelle into her pajamas when she brought me her Christmas list. There was only two things. One she already got. The other was a puppy. Well one out of two isn't bad. I couldn't get her the puppy. Even though I lived here it didn't really feel like my house. Getting a puppy is something the owner would do.

The rest of the night was spent watching movies and baking cookies.

"Why do we have to put them with the tree?"

"Because he won't know where to find them if we leave them in the kitchen. Santa's in a hurry so we can't leave them where he won't find them." She thought about it.

"What if he forgets us?"

"Well you were really good this year so he won't forget the nice kids. He won't forget you." Elliot saw her yawn.

"Okay baby we have to take you up stairs. We all have to go to sleep." She nodded her head at Elliot. She opened her arms to me so I could carry her but I couldn't carry her. She was too heavy for me. Elliot picked her up easily taking her upstairs. Elliot closed her door. "You want to get started on the presents?" Elliot asked.

"We have to wait for a while to make sure she is asleep. Just because she's in her room doesn't mean she's asleep." I told him. I extended my hand leading him to his office where the presents were hidden in the closet. "Can you turn the fireplace on for us baby. I'll be right back."

In the laundry room I grabbed a few blankets. From the kitchen I took some champagne and two glasses. Back in the office I found Elliot looking at the fireplace. I dimmed the lights but he didn't look at me. After placing the things down, I got behind him to rub his shoulders. When I felt him relax too much I stood up and spread the blankets while he watched me. I slowly took my heels off then handed him the champagne glass. He sat on the floor behind me. "Elliot,"

"Yea baby." His voice was very calm. We both were. I was sitting with him and I felt complete and loved.

"I love you Elliot."

"I love you too Carolina." The fire in front of us was keeping us warm. Not that this office was cold but the heat from the fire was perfect tonight. "Why the champagne?"

"We are celebrating. This is our fist Christmas together. Hopefully there will be more to come." I didn't mean it like that we may not be together, as a couple, but we never know what life will throw at us. I just want to enjoy anytime I have with him.

Elliot made love to me that night in front of the fire. It was one of those times that you will never forget. As he entered me all I saw were his eyes looking straight at mine. I have never been so in tune with him before. It was very slow because we knew that nothing else mattered. His skin was hot from the fire and that only added to the need we had for each other. We decided before any clothes came off that we didn't want to use a condom tonight. Tonight was about being together in every way possible no barriers or worries. I didn't mind the need for condoms but today I just needed him. His skin on mine. We came together. My nails were digging into his skin.

"You really are amazing." I said when I tried to catch my breath. I felt his chest vibration from his laughter. We were silent again just trying to catch our breaths.

"Baby, have you had your period yet?" He asked right as I was drifting into sleep. I thought about it. I haven't had my period. I wasn't pregnant though. I couldn't be. My last period was on thanksgiving when we weren't speaking.

"No. Um... I'm kind of underweight... so my periods aren't very regular. I get it every other month. I don't think I'm pregnant Elliot. Sorry."

"Don't be. I just wanted to know. Why would you be sorry. We agreed to wait. But I just needed to feel you today. I promise a condom from now on okay?"

"Sure. Did you want to sleep here or would you like to go to bed?"

"Doesn't matter. I'll go where ever you want me to." I told him I wanted to sleep in the office with the fire place. I wasn't too fond of sleeping on the floor but this setting was perfect. He got up and pulled out the pullout bed of the office couch. I wrapped a blanket around my body then hopped on the bed. There was a lot of squeaking but once we got settled, we fell asleep.

"Elliot! Oh my god. Shit Elliot wake up!" I was shaking Elliot. It was 4 am and we forgot to put the presents. He groaned and rolled over. I stood up pulling the blankets off him.

"What the fuck! It's cold what are you doing?" I wrapped the blanket around my body then proceeded to shake him some more.

"Elliot we forgot the presents." That woke him up. We tried to find our clothes but I wasn't in the mood to put my dress on again. I put my panties on and stole his shirt before her could protest. "I'll go check that she's still asleep. Start taking everything out from the closet."

I walked back to her room and found that she was still asleep. I grabbed some socks from our room then walked to get the presents. For the past month Elliot and I have been buying her things here and there. When we were done we realized that there was minimum of thirty presents for her. Elliot got her a bike. He was determined to teach her how to use it. "It's part of my job as her dad, to teach her how to ride a bike. Can I eat these." He asked referring to the cookies. I nodded my head.

As he ate I watched him. He only had pants on. I saw his abs. That alone was turning me on. I needed him now. I gave a mischievous smile so he knew something was up.

When he was done eating I stood up. Removed my panties and placed them in his pant pocket. He got the hint. I went into the kitchen and sat on the very cold counter. When he walked in his pants were off and he was hard. I unbuttoned his shirt taking it off. "Your shirt." I said handing it to him. He dropped it on the floor. I watched as he was stroking himself. I want to do that. He knew what he was doing. It always frustrated me when he wouldn't let me touch him. But I knew how much he loved to watch me touch myself.

He suddenly stopped. He got his wallet from his pants. From his wallet he took a condom, setting it next to me. My hands moved from my legs to my breasts touching them thinking about how Elliot's hands moved. I moaned his name wanting him to touch me. I heard him curse. I moved to my core and started pleasuring myself in front of him. My eyes were on his as I quickly made my self come. "Please" he knew what I wanted.

"What do you need from me baby?" He asked when he place the condom on slowly.

"Fuck me please. Hard." He did. I'm not even sure how Isabelle didn't wake up from me screaming so loud. I don't what happened but I do know that Elliot had scratches on his back from my nails. He didn't seem to mind though so I wasn't worried. "You okay?" I was still recovering when we were done. My breathing had not slowed down. He removed the condom and threw it away. Elliot reached for his boxers on then handed me the rest of the clothes to carry upstairs while he carried me.

This time we did go to our bedroom. Before going to sleep we got dressed and left our door unlocked. That meant that there would be no more sex tonight.

"Is it me or have we had sex a lot today?" I asked Elliot.

"It was only like five or six times. Isn't that what normal people do?" He was moving his hand up and down my back, while I rested my head on his chest.

"No most people have sex like once or twice a week. Especially with a child. But Isabelle is easy to distract.

"Is it too much for you?"

"No. It's just an observation. We usually have sex twice a day. I deserve a prize. I don't know how many girlfriends would be okay with that. Most would just tell you to fuck yourself." We laughed at that.

"Is that what you are? My girlfriend?" He said seriously.

"Yes. What else do you want to call it?"I felt him shrug.

"I don't know girlfriend doesn't seem enough. I think we are more."

"I'm whatever you want me to be." He was quiet.

"Have you ever thought about getting married again?" What? That was unexpected. But I thought about it. I never really thought that I would. Marriage is only for people who are crazy in love. I am in love but marriage? I don't even know if I could do it again.

"I never really thought about it. I honestly didn't think I would find some one like you. Some one I am completely in love with. It just never crossed my mind." I felt like I was disappointing him but I didn't want to lie.

"So you don't want to get married?"

"Well it's not that I don't want to." I shifted my body so that I was looking at him. "Elliot I don't need to be have a wedding. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Having a formal wedding is a formality that I don't think we need to deal with now. Maybe in the future. But I don't want to spend the next few months stressing about that. We have a lot to learn about each other."

"what if we learn something we don't like?" He asked seriously.

"Are you hiding something?" I asked teasingly. He rolled his eyes and laughed. "That's not a no."

"No, nothing to hide."

"I'm sure we will fight, we'll do things that drive each other crazy. We will argue because that's what happens. I'm sure of all of that but it won't matter as long as you still love me at the end of the day, even when you hate me."

"You're right. We can worry about a wedding later."

"Don't worry, I'll drop a hint when I'm ready for a wedding."

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**Sorry it took me so long. I had too may things to do. The fact that I didn't know what to write didn't help either. Please review, the more reviews I get the faster I update. I'll try to update again next week but we'll see. Thanks for reading and all the support. **


	24. Chapter 24

**Thanks for reading and reviewing. **

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Some one was looking at me. I could feel it. It was one of those feeling where I was being watched. It made me nervous. I tried to ignore it but some one was watching me. I oped my eyes but Elliot was asleep so it wasn't him. I closed my eyes but that feeling didn't go away. I turned to find that I was right, bright blue eyes were looking at me. Isabelle was in her pajamas. Staring.

"Morning." I told her as I rubbed my eyes.

"Hi." Her eyes were big. She looked like she wanted to say something but she dint know where to start.

"Are you okay?" She nodded. "What's wrong?" She don't move. I looked at her hoping she would tell me and I wouldn't have to guess.

"There are presents next to the tree." I smiled at her. It was Christmas.

"Yea. It's Christmas. They are probably for you. Do you want to open them?" She nodded her head fast. "We have to wake you father." I watched her walk to Elliot's side of the bed. She was using her index finger to poke him. After a few times, he swatted her hand away muttering something about a fly. "I have an idea come here." I whispered.

We both stood on the bed with pillows in our hands. "Ready." She told me. We started jumping on the bed yelling at Elliot to wake up. We probably scared him but when he saw us, he smiled and tackled Isabelle down. "Merry Christmas my beautiful girls." I pecked his lips then he kissed Isabelle's cheek.

"Santa came. We should open presents." I told him. We made our way downstairs with Isabelle leading the way. She was really excited but was trying to contain her excitement. The first present to be handed out was a camera for me. Elliot gave it to me first so we would have pictures of today. After talking a few pictures of us we started opening presents. Isabelle was very surprised when she realized she got two presents. When she realized most of them were for her she was ecstatic. She would unwrap it, open the present, then neatly fold the used wrapping paper. She continued this for her other 26 presents. Elliot and I got each other some clothes and somethings that we needed for the house. When all the presents were done besides the important presents for Elliot and I, Elliot went to get a trash bag. Well I thought he did.

He came back with a large box. Isabelle excitedly ran to him. "Is it for me?"

"It's for all of us. But you can name it." I stood and walked toward him. It was a very badly wrapped box but Isabelle unwrapped it then let out a girly squeal. I looked in the box and inside was a puppy.

A German Shepard puppy to be exact. "Aww it's so cute." I reached in the box and picked it up. Isabelle was pouting but I held the puppy. It was for all of us so I took charge and carried it first.

"I was going to get one of those small dogs but these are good loyal dogs. And I'm not talking care of those girly dogs. Sorry baby you get German Shepard." I very reluctantly let the dog go. Isabel was hugging it.

"Can we take it outside?"

"Not yet sweetie. It's cold maybe later." She was petting the dog. I looked at Elliot. "You know if you gave her that first we would have saved a lot of money." Elliot laughed at that. It was true all her other gifts were forgotten now. She took the dog to the couch were it fell asleep but she continued to pet it and smile.

"Okay well I do have something for you. Isabelle I have to take mommy to the backyard to show her something. Can you hang out here for a few minutes?" She nodded her head with out looking at me. After finding some snow boots and a coat. Elliot took my hand and lead me to a tree in the yard. "I know that today is a good day. I didn't do this to ruin your day but I just want to show you that I love you. All of you. Everything from your past matters to me because it matters to you. Don't take this the wrong way and if you don't like it then we can take it down." He said when we stopped.

"Lina, you're the strongest person I know. What you went through with your baby, Arizona. It was hard but you're still here trying to be happy. You make me happy and I thought that we could honor her because I know she didn't get to live long. I talked to Andy and she told me that when you and Damien were together you planted a tree that represented your marriage. That your marriage can grow. I thought we could do that. I know I'm not her father but you should know that she's important to me. She shaped you somehow to be the way you are now. So I planted a tree for her. It's the same kind of tree you and Damien used." I was quiet. "I thought this would be a nice place for you to think. When you're upset. I thought since she was your and Damien's baby she should be represented in the same kind of tree." I was exactly the same kind of tree we used. I just stared at it. What do I say. "Lina if you don't like it we can... I can take it down." Oh Elliot. I had tears now. "Carolina. Fuck I'm sorry I shouldn't have overstepped. I'll have it taken down tomorrow I promise. Please say something."

I leaned my head on his chest. "Thank you for this. It means a lot to me. It's perfect. Thank you for caring so much." He sighed in relief. It really was perfect. For the longest time I thought about how I would go on without my baby. I knew I wanted to honor her in some way but I never knew how. Elliot's gift was perfect because it gave me a confidence in our relationship. It wasn't just a tree. To me it was a sort of acceptance to my past. It was like he was telling me that he would be my support system.

In the years since I lost Damien I always had my family and Andy. They would always tell me that it was okay. I could be sad and cry. With Elliot I was able to talk about how I felt. It wasn't just, I'm sad my husband died. He made me think that I could be happy. He was the only person now that I could talk to about what happened with out crying every moment. He gave me hope for life. That life was some how offering me another chance. I didn't deserve it but I wasn't going to let Elliot go. We walked back inside hand in hand. When we went in Isabelle was following the dog, who was trying to sleep. "Baby let the dog sleep. You can play with it later." She nods her head then leaves the dog alone.

Trying to lighten the mood again, "Ok so as promised your present." I said presenting him with an envelope.

"I thought my present was the Rolex you got me. And all the other stuff. You didn't have to go over board." He took the envelope but didn't open it. I gave him other things like clothes a pool table for his garage but that seemed like it wasn't enough.

"Just open it please." He did.

"Seriously?" He had a smile on his face.

"Yea. That's what you wanted so we're going to Vegas for four days." I got us reservations to stay in Las Vegas for four days two weeks after New Years from Thursday and our flight came back late Sunday. "So you get me all alone for four days. And the birth control will kick in by then so we can have sex with out condoms finally. Well we already do that but now we won't get pregnant." I shrugged.

"Fuck baby. Imagine how much sex we can have. Does our room have a hot tub?" He was so excited it was kind of a joy to see.

"It was a full pool. And a jacuzzi. It's a fun room I stay there with Andy all the time."

"Well thank you baby." He moved me so I am straddling him. "Let's practice our vacation plan." He says as he leans in to kiss me. I kiss him back but then I pull back.

"Elliot, Isabelle is right there." I say when his lips are moving down my neck. He doesn't care though. His grip on my hips tighten and he moves me so I can feel him impressively hard erection. "baby not now. When we are alone."

"She's not paying attention. But fine. Can you get up I have something for you." I do as he says. I can tell how ready he is when he stands up. Usually he would be very conservative about hiding his arousal but Isabelle is oblivious and I am turned on by him being so hard.

"For you." Inside the small box is a beautiful ring. A beautiful, what could only be described as and engagement ring. It's a cushioned diamond ring with more diamonds around the band. I look at it in shock. Crap yesterday I said I didn't want a wedding but now I'm getting this. I look away from the ring and to his face. He's smiling. He looks so... Not nervous. I was sitting in the couch and he was kneeling in between my legs. Not on one knee, but two.

"It's beautiful." He takes the box with the ring from me and kisses me chastely.

He takes my hand. "Lina. I love you. Yesterday you told me that you didn't want a wedding. I'm not going to propose when I know it's not what you want. That's okay." He kissed me again. "This is more of a promise. I promise that I will love you. All of you. This is just a physical reminder that I am yours, you are mine. You can Cary this around and look at it and know that I am committed to you to us. I want to spend my life with you and until you are ready I would like for you to wear this so even when I'm an ass or annoy the shit out of you, you know that I treasure our relationship. You are the greatest thing to ever happen to me. With out you... I don't want to think of being with out you. You are everything I always wanted. So I promise that I will wait as long as you need me to. I'll love you forever baby. Because I know that we can make it work. One day you'll be my fiancé but up until then. Just take this as a promise to be engaged. I love you." He takes my shaking hand and slips the ring on my finger. "Perfect." It was. The ring fit perfectly. I have tears down my face from being so emotional.

"Thank you. I love you."I have my hands on either side of his face as I kiss him between every word I say. "Thank you." I wrap my arms around his neck and he lifts me so my feet are off the floor. I put my legs around him and hold on to dear life. When he puts me down we kiss passionately. He's so good to me.

"Do you like it?" He asks referring to the ring.

"Yes but it's too much. How are you going to get me a better one when you propose. You just set yourself up for failure there." He laughed then kisses me again. I take moment to look at the ring and notice how big it is compared to my finger. It's very grand and beautiful. It's a cushion cut ring with a simple band around.

After we played with Isabelle a while with her toys we started cleaning the floor and taking her things to her room. She was again obsessed with her puppy. We had a nice breakfast together and then we got dresses and showered to go to Grace's house again.

We stopped by Andy's house to drop off her present first. With out knocking I walked in. Elliot was carrying her and marks present and Isabelle had Emily's. "Merry Christmas!" I said walking in. The little family all turned to look at me. Emily ran to Elliot whom she still had a crush on. After getting settled on the couch Mark came to me and handed me and Andy an envelope. I opened the envelope and started screaming. He got me concert tickets to Las Vegas. Andy must have gotten the same thing because she was just as excited. After we settled down and all the presents were given out I pulled Mark aside and he went out to get the other present ready.

"Elliot here one last thing." I handed him a small box. Inside as a toy car. A Bentley. He looked at it confused. "Open the trunk." In the cars trunk was a set of keys to his new car. He smiled at me.

Outside the door was a brand new Bentley. "Do you like it?"

"It's fucking perfect baby." He pulled me in for one of his hot indecent kisses, where he grabbed my ass.

"Why don't you go try it out we'll watch Isabelle. I had it checked by someone yesterday so it's okay." Mark said. I didn't trust dealers so I would have Mark check the car to make sure there was no faulty product. I trusted Mark so we got in the front and took a drive. After about fifteen minutes I started giving Elliot directions on where to go. We ended up in an park with a great view that was deserted.

"It's a nice view but why are we here?" Elliot said as he cut the engine. I took my seat belt off. He was looking at me. I released my hair from the bun it was in. I removed my dress and panties and bra so I was left in stockings only. I reached over his seat and pushed his seat back.

"We are here because I'm horny and I promised you car sex in a Bentley. Are you going to sit there or are you going to take your fucking clothes off and fuck me?" I smirked at him. He started unbuttoning his pants and as soon as his erection was free I reached to take him in my mouth. I started licking my from base to tip until he was hard. My tongue moved around his tip. I felt his hand on my head pushing me further. I used my hand to stroke the rest of him I couldn't fit in my mouth. I went deeper and he groaned louder. "Fuck... Lina" It was so erotic to hear him say my name. To know I was the one who made him come. I sucked even harder and moved even faster. "Lina. I'm gonna come baby stop." I mumbled no somehow and kept moving. He was pulsing in my mouth. I felt him release in my mouth. He tasted hot and salty. I wasn't bad. It was Elliot. I slowed my movements as he calmed down.

He pulled my head up and kissed me. I sucked on his tongue then let go. I moved to straddle his body. He was still breathing hard so I unbuttoned his shirt while he calmed down. My hands were moving up and down his chest. When I placed my hands flat on his stomach I took a moment to admire my new ring. It really was grand. "Did you like it?" He was eyeing the ring too. "I can get a different one. I wasn't sure what to get you so I got you an engaged to be engaged ring." I cut him off but placing my lips on his.

"It's perfect baby. Thank you. Now people will know that I belong to you." He smiled and tangled his fingers in my hair. As we kissed I felt him harden again. I moved my hips so I rubbed against him. I was touching his hair. His fingers were grazing my back, pulling me toward him more. "El, I need you. Now." We stopped kissing and I watched as he reached between us and placed his pulsing dick at my entrance. He was slowly entering me. With out thinking I put my weight completely on him so he was inside me. "God Elliot your so big. So good"

He looked so proud of himself but it was true. His size was both amazing and painful. Only in the beginning did it hurt but once I got used to him, he made me feel so full. "So tight. So wet Lina. I have to move you okay?" I nodded my head. I started moving up and down and he watched me. I was grinding my hips so instead of moving up and down I would moved in a figure eight. He sucked my skin and I came loud in the car. After a few more hip movements and thrusts Elliot also came.

He pulled out of me then removed the used condom.

I rested my head on his bare chest. When I was mobile again Elliot handed me my panties. I put them back on and he fastened my bra on again. He kissed my back a few times then he pulled my dress over my head again. I went back to my seat and ran my fingers through my hair to try to straighten it out but it wasn't working so I just put it up. When he was dressed again, he grabbed the car and drove to Andy's. "That was fun." I said as we got out. He put his arm around me and kissed my temple.

"Yea we should do it again."

"Hey how was the car?" Mark asked from the kitchen. All traces of the wrapping paper gone. It was completely clean. Mark was a clean freak so I didn't expect any less.

"Amazing." I said in a sing-song voice winking at Elliot. "Where my baby?"

"In Emily's room. They are napping. Do you want some food we have cheese cake or we can make an omelette." Mark asked us.

"Ill get cheesecake." I ended up eating three slices and Elliot ate 4. The last one was a race which I gladly won. I had a bad sweet tooth so he didn't stand a chance.

"Morning how was your nap?" I asked Isabelle as she sat in my lap when we sat on the couch talking. She nods her head. She settles into my lap and just sits there listening to us talk as I rub her back and continuously kiss her head. It got late very quickly so we made our way out.

"So I'll see you Saturday for the party? Do you have a dress yet?" Andy asked me. I forgot about the charity party I was being forced to go. I was too stressed getting a Bentley last minute the day before Christmas Eve.

"No I'll go tomorrow I have the day off wanna come Mia is coming with me. I have Isabelle's dress but it's hard to shop for me you know that. Anyways we'll leave now thanks for lunch and for the tickets Mark I'll see you soon."

Elliot and Isabelle walked ahead to the car and Andy pulled me back and gave me a bone crushing hug. "I'm happy for you Lina. He makes you so happy." She was holding my hands in hers and her thumb ran over my ring. She looked down and started jumping a screaming. It was a very girly response but I could help smile at her. "Oh my god you're engaged and you didn't tell me. Why aren't you telling me. Ya'll are engaged?" Her southern accent really came out just then. Elliot was looking at us and smiling. He shrugged and turned on the car.

"I'm not engaged. It's not an engagement ring. It's more of a promise. And engaged to be engaged ring. Isn't it sparkly?" I held it up to her face so she could see it better. She was slightly disappointed but I didn't care it is what it is.

We were late to his parents house so everyone was already seated in the table. Regardless they stood to great us. I gave Ana a hug and we both jumped when Mia squealed. She practically pushed Elliot and came to give me a hug. "Congratulations it's perfect you did good brother. So when's the date. Oh god you getting married. I told you daddy." Right as she let me go Grace came to hug me as well. I couldn't get a word in because I was passed around from Grey to Grey. Elliot just stood in the background laughing at me. After a few minutes he decided to kill everyone's fun.

"It's a fake ring." Everyone looked at him like he was crazy. That was followed but a few punches by Mia and Grace lecturing him on messing with me and their feelings. "I'm kidding it's a real ring but it's not an engagement ring. It's... Something else. It's between us so don't ask but it's not an engagement ring." Mia looks at me then glares. She must be very disappointed.

"Sorry. I was going to tell you but you didn't give me a chance." I said to Mia. She wasn't having it though.

Besides Carrick, Christian and Luke everyone ignored us during dinner. Even Isabelle was set up against us. Elliot held my hand through most of dinner so I was oblivious to everyone around us.

After dinner I told Mia about the ring and she wasn't so mad at me anymore. She showed me the jewelry and pictures from other things she got for Christmas from Luke. She was so happy with him. I had to stop her when she got into detail about their incredible "orgasm filled night" in her bedroom next door to Christian. Ana showed us her new very reasonable car that Christian bought her. Not that she would get to drive it but at least she felt somewhat special. He also gave her a new crib for their baby which was placed in what will be the nursery.

Turns out their house was finished a few weeks ago but all the security details had created a set back to moving in. They should be in their new home next week though. She also got some new charms for a bracelet that Christian gave her a few months ago. It's crazy to think that they met six months ago and were already married and were having a baby.

Over all it was a very good day. Okay it wand the best day I could have had. Definitely better than the last two years. We went home that might and after cleaning up after the dog, Elliot came to bed and made love to me in the most passionate way possible.

The next morning I was sick again. It was from all that cheesecake I forced down. I felt better a few hours later. Of course Elliot took care of me. When he was sure I wasn't sick I went with Mia, Andy and Ana to find my dress. I didn't know what to wear but I ended up with a black very low cut in the front and back v neck dress. The dress was went to about two or three inches above my belly button and flows beautifully. There is definitely some side boob showing but I liked it. There was also a slit in the right leg that went up to my thigh. I had to take it to the tailors to get it fitted for my height. Even with six-inch heels it was too long. Overall the dress was sexy very sexy. The strangest part about that day was when paparazzi showed up. Mia and Ana were used to it but Andy and I were too freaked out. I've seen in the papers how there are rumors about Ana being pregnant but no one has confirmed it so they were aggressive. We had to walk into a store and have it closed down. Half an hour later Christian showed up with six security guys to help us out.

"I think Andy and I should just wait till you leave." I said. Christian looked like he wanted to punch me. "The press doesn't know me or her. If you walk away then they follow you and leave us alone. If we walk out with you, we get photographed and that could compromise my job." He was about to say something but I cut him off. "I'm staying here until the press leaves, if they don't leave in half an hour I'll call Elliot but I'm not walking out and getting my picture taken. I could lose my job Christian. I'm sorry but I'm not going." After all he wasn't my boss and he had no power over me.

Just then Elliot walked in. Shit now I really have to stand my ground. I don't care I'm not their employee I'm my own person, they can't tell me what to do. "Hey baby let's go." He walked toward me but I took a step back. If he kissed me I'll cave into what ever he wants me to. I explained to him what I thought. "She's right Christian. The press want you and Ana. Lina can hide out for a bit. I'll walk with Mia and come back for them in half an hour?" He said looking at me. I nod my head.

"The fuck no Elliot. What if they don't fucking leave? I'm not going to just wait and have my security wait because she's camera shy. Let's go." He said it with such anger and authority that I thought Elliot would do it.

"I wasn't asking. She's not your wife, I'm not your employee. You can't just fucking boss us around when you don't get your way. She doesn't want to go are you going to force her out?" Elliot steps to Christian and the are head to head. If I wasn't so scared that they will break out into a fight I would be really turned on right now. He'll I am turned on but now isn't the time.

"Come Anastasia." She gets up hugs Andy and me and follows Christian out.

"I'll be back soon. If they leave call me and I'll come before the thirty minutes." Elliot kisses my head. And hugs Andy to throw the paparazzi off who he is dating. We are pretty well hidden but in case some one gets a shot we are prepared. Mia takes Elliot's arm and he guides her out.

"Oh my god this is crazy who would have thought two girls from Brooks, Tennessee would be hiding in store from the paparazzi." Despite the situation, I laugh at her words. I was right. Ten minutes after Ana left the paparazzi are gone and I call Elliot. We head home.

Despite the crazy day I got to bed excited to got to the coping together Christmas event. Hopefully I'm not wrong and it turns into some disaster.


	25. Chapter 25

**This is part one of the party. Part two will go up some time this week I just didn't want to make the chapter too long. Thanks for reading and reviewing. **

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"Woah." Elliot says as I come does the stair in my dress.

"Do you like it?" I ask biting my lip.

"Yea it's just very revealing. You look amazing it's just..." He fixes his tie. To be honest this is exactly the reaction that I wanted. He steps in front of me and kisses me. His hand is on my skin where there is no fabric covering my side.

"Is it too much?"

"No it's perfect but just don't leave my side. At all. I don't share."

"I don't want you to share I'm all yours Elliot." He ran his nose on my neck. "We have to go. I don't want to be late."

Instead of being held at Grace's house it was held in a grand ballroom at some hotel. Elliot booked us a suite so we could leave anytime we wanted. The worst part about the event was that since it was being hosted by the Grey's I would have to be photographed with the rest of the family. Luke and I tried to fight it but when it's six against two we lost. So I agreed to three pictures. One with all the family, one with just Elliot and I, and the last would be of Elliot, Isabelle and I.

I didn't want to admit it but I didn't feel like I belonged. They had this party that they do every year and I was just some girl from a little town. Knowing that Ana was from the same background made me feel better.

"Can the blonde woman smile." I hate this photographer. It's like he's after me. "Alright you blinked, so we'll just take another one." I know everyone was getting frustrated but it made me uncomfortable to be here.

"Hey you okay?" Elliot whispered when the idiot photographer decided to take a break.

"Sorry I just got dizzy all of a sudden." I was breathing hard now but I wanted to get get this done.

"Lina, dear is everything okay?" Grace approached me. She looked stunning in her lavender gown. I nodded my head but I couldn't really focus. I was getting dizzy. I needed water or to sit down.

"She said she's dizzy. I'm going to sit her down for a minute. Can you get her a water?" Elliot answered for me. I had to lean on Elliot a lot because I was feeling very weak. Ana and Christian were distracting Isabelle so she wouldn't worry. Once I was seated Grace felt my pulse and asked me some basic question. She was obviously in doctor mode now. I didn't want to make her work when she was busy today so I said what I had to, to make her stop worrying.

"What about you last mistral cycle when was that?" Every one in the room looked at me.

"I'm under wight it doesn't happen regularly." I saw Christian swallow and Ana's hold tighten on his arm. He stepped away and came back with an appetizer plate that is usually handed out by waiters walking around.

"You should eat." I wasn't in the mood to argue so I just took a bite.

"I'm fine. I just need to drink something."

"Well dear just don't drink alcohol until you take a pregnancy test but you seem fine just drink some water. Elliot keep an eye on her. If you feel dizzy again let me know. Or just go to your room we understand." I nodded. And slowly stood adjusting my dress so that nothing came out.

"You're sure you're okay?" I leaned to peck Elliot's lips and nodded my head walking back to our positions for the picture. Turns out we got a new photographer who was a lot nicer. After a few pictures in different poses, we were done and moving on to the couple pictures. It felt like prom. All I needed was my corsage. Of course my prom was in the gym so this was much nicer but still. Elliot got glares from his mother when we did the picture because his hand was always too low. I pretended to be embassies but I liked his hand on my ass.

I don't understand what the big deal was considering that Christian did the same to Ana. Luke was a true gentleman. His was was on Mia's back but not too low. It did slip for a minute but Carrick and Christian quickly reminded where Luke's hands should be.

Elliot and I had a moment alone when everyone walked out to the room where the event would be held. "This is our room key. Keep it with you, our room is 1603. Sixteenth floor if you don't feel well just go up. Christians security is watching our family so they'll know where you are. And if I'm not with you he'll let me know. Don't worry about hurting my mom's feeling if you're tired just go. Isabelle has Maynard, one of Christian's security, following her at all times. So she should be fine. I'll try to get her next to me but these things can get boring sometimes. I put an extra room key in your purse and the car keys are in there too. But don't go anywhere alone please. Your phone is in your purse too. But don't be on it long it pissed my mom off. She won't say shit to you but this is important to her. You're not nervous are you?" I nodded my head. I wasn't that nervous but all the talk about security made this event seem so exclusive. "Don't be. Just stick with me. We'll talk to a few people do some auctions, eat, dance, and talk some more, and then we can leave. Do you need a drink?" Vodka sounds nice but after my dizzy spell it won't be a good idea.

"Yes." He went out and brought me a champagne glass. I took a sip but the taste was horrible so I ran to the nearest bathroom to rinse my mouth. I didn't throw up but it was horrible. I went back for my water. And stuck to that. "Sorry that just tasted bad."

"It's tastes the same to me." I shrugged.

"We're in the same table right?" I asked him. It would be just my luck to be stuck with a bunch of people I don't know.

"Yea baby don't worry. Ana had to go over the seating a few days ago. Andy and Mark are not in our table but you'll still get to see them. Before and after." I nodded my head trying to retain as much information as I could. I am so not cut out for this. At least Elliot looked hot. That was the only good thing happening so far. "Ready?" I took his hand and we walked out.

Isabelle was with Mia who was in the dinner room checking things. Since there was no one allowed in there yet, Isabelle would be hard to lose in that room. Plus Grace asked Elliot to socialize before going back to dad duty.

I was introduced as Elliot's girlfriend and changed my ring from my ring finger on my left hand to my middle finger on my right hand so I wouldn't have to go over he whole "I'm not engaged" issue with anyone. We made small talk with Seattle's richest and in my opinion snobbiest people. I noticed a few men looking at me or more accurately trying to get a sneak at my boobs. Eliot noticed so his grip on my waist tightened. I met Ross who was Christians right hand woman and her girlfriend Gwen. They are the only people in the room who openly talked about my figure. I blushed like crazy when they said to Elliot about how easy taking the dress off me would be. It was true though. That's why I chose this dress. Whatever I looked hot. After half an hour I met the notorious Elena. I noticed she talked to Jason but Elliot interrupted by going over and talking to her. "You haven't been around in a while. I thought we would see you at Christian's wedding."

"I was busy. But I heard it was a wonderful event. I understand why they married so early." Elliot laughed. Christian decided that this was the perfect way to announce their pregnancy. So Ana chose a dress that showed her bump tastefully.

"She wasn't pregnant at the time but they're happy now. He's still as controlling as always but Ana keeps him in line. Will we see you at my grandparent's New Years party?"

"Are you inviting me?" She smiles at him. If she wasn't so old I would think she was flirting with Elliot. Especially since she was standing closer than when the conversation started.

"Inviting her where Elliot?" Grace came to join us. Or save us. I could tell Grace did not appreciate Elena talking to us. I didn't see what was so bad they were friends right?

"to grandpa's party." Elliot took a champagne glass from a passing tray.

"Oh she won't be going. I wasn't aware that you were coming here. When did you RSVP." Grace definitely wasn't happy. She looked like she wanted to get away from her. Or hit her.

"Ladies and gentleman if you could all take your seats for dinner please." A man announced. Elliot gave a nod to his mom and Elena and pulled me away.

"I don't know if they sat me with my parents so we have to find our table number." Elliot said leading me to where the names were on card with table numbers. I found Isabelle's: table 8. And mine: table 8. Andy and Mark were also at table eight but then I looked at Elliot's table 1. Even numbered tables were on one side while odd numbered tables were on the other side of the dance floor. "what the fuck. Come on let's find Mia." Elliot was mad. Hopefully there was just some mistake and it would be fixed. "Mia. What the fuck is this?" Mia was next to the stage talking to someone. She wasn't in the mood for anyone right now.

"What Elliot? Whatever it is it's not fixable. So live with it."

"No you better fucking. Fix this. Now. Why are we on a different table." Mia signed a paper and then looked at Elliot.

"I didn't do the seating, Ana did a few days ago. She was kind of sick so if something is wrong take it up with her. All I know is that the room is filled to capacity. There will be no seat changes. You want to take it out on some one talk to Ana. I have other things to do. It's only like an hour. I'm sorry Lina but I'm stressed I have no time to deal with this." She walked away. Elliot was going to follow her but I pulled him back.

"Hey it's okay it's just an hour. Andy and Mark are here and they're in my table. I have Isabelle and you can see me from where you sit. I love you. Let's not make a scene over this." I leaned in and kissed him letting my tongue lick his lips quickly.

"Fine. Let's get yours purse from my mom." Elliot's mom had taken my purse when I was dizzy and set it with hers.

"Lina's here for her purse." Grace looked at me concerned.

"I'm fine I'm just sitting somewhere else."

"Why somewhere else? Is this table not okay?" Carrick asked me.

"No the seating was done wrong. I was suppose to be with Isabelle and Lina but someone seated them wrong." Elliot was trying really hard not to give Ana any rude comments. There was an announcement for everyone to take their seats.

"Steele! Wow this is huge. Grace you really outdid yourself. I hope I got all the seating done correctly. Ana was so sick I had to do it my self but all the important people are here. You look hot Steele. Oh you're Mrs. Nash right, the social worker? I didn't know you would be here." I looked back to that voice. Kate. She was in a strapless silver dress that was practically painted in her body. She had a killer body.

I'm going to kill myself. Well I'm going to kill her. I don't know what it was about her but she really pissed me off now. I dont know if it was the fact that she called me Mrs. I usually wouldn't mind but she did it to upset me. So, I could just greet her politely like the lady I am suppose to be. Or I could change my ring back to its usual finger and hang on to Elliot for dear life.

"It's Reid now, nice to meet you." I extended my hand and she shook it. She was thrown of by my politeness. She was expecting me to be catty. I thought I would too.

"Well you should take your seat now. Would you like some one to help you find your table?" Bitch.

"No I can find it myself thanks." I looked at her with a tight smile.

"Well have a good evening." I nodded my head and walked away before anything else was said.

Mark saw me walking and stood to greet me. "Hey shorty, what's wrong?" I shook my head.

Andy looked at me. "Don't take this the wrong way but why are you sitting with us."

"Elliot's ex was in charge of the seating. It's okay it's just one hour. Isabelle you have to sit no more playing for a bit okay." Isabelle has been walking around but she has to settle down now. I had to give her my phone during the speeches because they were long and boring. Well they weren't so bad but she was becoming restless and picking at everything on the table. Now I see why children don't come to these things, but Grace insisted. Just as the auction was about to begin, a waiter who kept looking at us somehow managed to get mine and Isabelle's dress wet. My dress wasn't in bad shape but Isabelle's wasn't so lucky. I had to take her to the room so that she could put on her spare dress that I brought. "I told you so" I thought to Elliot. Not that he would hear. But again I was right about the extra clothes. Sure it wasn't her fault but I'm prepared. It took about fifteen minutes even if we rushed. When I returned I looked at Andy and Mark. "What did I miss?" They looked at each other nervously then Andy talked.

"The had a first dance auction where you bid on men. Elliot was in the auction and that blonde chick at his table won." I looked at the table. Elliot and Kate weren't there anymore. "They had to go with all the other couples to a different room while they do the next auction so there is no confusion." Fucking perfect. Because clearly she need to spend more time with Elliot.

"Lina, can you help me with something. I'd usually ask Ana but she's pregnant. Please it will only take five minutes." Mia came to out table smiling. I know she was stressed so I followed her. We were standing behind the stage when one of Mia's friends talked to me.

"I'm sure you'll get a lot of bids. Especially in that dress. And those boobs. The first time I did this I was nervous but it's for a good cause. I nodded my head. She adjusted my dress so my cleavage was more noticeable. It was very uncomfortable but I was busy thinking about what the hell was going on. Suddenly the curtain opened and the audience clapped. I felt like a fish. A fish on a tank that every one looked at. Because every one was looking at us. All of a sudden I wish I had a more conservative dress. And that's when it hit me. A people auction. Mia made me help in a fucking people auction. I didn't see Elliot. Isabelle was in her seat waving at me and making funny faces. I tried my best not to laugh at her antics but she was getting the best of me. And Mia because Mia was trying hard not to laugh.

Someone paid thirty thousand to dance with me. I guess this was a good dress after all. I still want to kill Mia but at least he wasn't some old man. He was fairly young probably in his thirties. His name was Andrew he was green eyes and if I wasn't with the hottest man then I would consider him attractive. Not Elliot-attractive but still. He was probably just as tall as Elliot. We were immediately escorted out but I asked Andrew to stay I wanted to check on Mia. "David Bradford is going to win." Andrew says. I look at his questioningly waiting for him to explain. "Her brother said that he should automatically bet 150 thousand dollars, paid for by Mr. Grey. He told my sister. Bradford works for Mr. Grey so he does what the boss says. He's a good guy though."

"That sucks for Mia." I say. Sure enough Mia is next and Bradford wins. Everyone claps and Mia looks heart broken.

"Don't worry. He's a good guy. He comes from a good family graduated from Princeton a few years ago. And he works for GEH any one who works there has to have an impressive resume. We should go?" I nod my head and we walk out to where everyone was before entering the dining room. I ask a waiter if he has seen Elliot grey.

"He just left with his lady friend to a different location. They looked in a hurry." He says winking at me.

"Let me get you a drink." Andrew says. He gets me margarita. I still shouldn't have alcohol. I don't want to pass out in front of everyone. He is way too close to me. The thing about me an alcohol is that it goes right to my head within thirty minutes. And I had some wine earlier. We had this moment when we just looked at each other and he leaned in. He was going to kiss me. Maybe I should let him. I wonder of he's as good as Elliot. Shit Elliot.

"I'm sorry you should know I'm with some one." As discretely as possible I move my ring behind my back. "I'm engaged sorry you wasted your money." With that I walked away finding Mia who was being cornered by that ass who won her. "I'm sorry she's need for an issue that is going on back stage." I say to the man. "Mia what the hell why didn't you tell me I wasn't going to be in the auction. And where's Elliot?"

"I don't know. But thanks for saving me he was getting too comfortable."

"Can we go back to the room again I'm sick of being here.." Just as I said that it was time for the first dance. And unfortunately we had to go back to our partner.

It was a fucking five minute song. Five minutes of listening to Andrew try to hit on me. Five minutes of him pressing his erection into my stomach. That was by far the most disgusting thing. I just met him, yet here he was whispering in my ear of how he would like to fuck my mouth and "lick my pussy". His hand was on my back pushing me against him as much as possible. I just looked straight ahead and for Graces sake, tried not to punch him. We were dancing near our table and I could hear Andy and Mark laughing at me. Giving me the thumbs up and giving me an exaggerated wink. That made me giggle so he moved his hand to the opening on the side of my dress. His hand was at my ribs so I had to remove it, and place it on my back. He took that as a sign and move it to my ass. I moved it back and Andy laughed hysterically. I had to smile despite the fact that she was laughing at my expense. By the end of the song we were near what would be Elliot's table if he was here.

"Im going to dance with her now." Mark said when the song was over. My knight in shining armor. He was not asking. I smiled at Ana who, along with everyone seated at the table, was watching Mark.

"I don't think she wants to dance with you." He took my hand and pulled me to him. He put his arm around me and his hand was on my ribs again. I tried to struggle but his nails were going into the skin of my right breast as a warning to shut up. Suddenly it wasn't so funny. This was actually hurting.

"Let go." He looked at me as if I should shut up. Who the fuck was this guy.

"You need to let her go. Now." Christian came forward and looked at Andrew. Carrick was right behind him. Mark reached for me but Andrew grabbed my arm pulling me. His grip was strong on my upper arm. "I'm not telling you again let her go." Mark had his hand on Andrew's wrist. Andrew let me go and the hand that was on my arm was replaced by a much lighter hold of Mark who led me away.

"Are you okay? Did he hurt you?" Mark asked. Checking for injuries.

"No I think he was drunk. He was being grabby but when you came he was too forceful. Thank you Mark." He kissed my forehead giving me a crooked smile.

"Anytime you know that. Let's go back to our table. I want to dance with my wife. This is the first time we dress up this nice since our wedding. Actually you might want to talk to your in-laws." He walked me to their table.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes Grace there was just a misunderstanding. Have you seen Elliot?"

"No he and Katherine were here for the first dance but they left shortly after. Have you called him maybe he has his phone. I'm sure everything is fine dear he loves you."

"Right. Okay well if he comes can you tell him I'm looking for him." She nods and I excuse my self. So much for only dance with Elliot.


	26. Chapter 26

After a few songs we were told to sit down for the second auctions. They auctioned off some homes to be used for weekends. I really had to pee but I didn't want to get up. And I was still waiting for Elliot to come back. The second auction lasted about half an hour. "Isabelle come sweetie lets take a walk." We excused ourself from the table and went to the bathroom. "Stay here while I go. Don't leave the bathroom." I went into the stall. When I was finished I heard Isabelle talk to some one. When I walked out she was gone. I washed my hands and went outside to find her. I couldn't see Maynard so I was just hoping that they were together.

I walked around looking for them but had no luck. So I went to the source: Jason.

"Jason have you seen Maynard?" Jason was along the wall closest to the Grey's table. He looked at me then looked around.

"No ma'am. She's probably looking after Isabelle. You know how she likes to run around."

"Call me Lina please. That's the problem I was in the bathroom and Isabelle disappeared. I was hoping she's with Maynard." I felt horrible that I had lost her in a short three minutes. I didn't want to worry but I needed to know where she was. Jason spoke into his watch and I waited but looked around the room looking for Isabelle. And Elliot but he was not as important now.

"I can't locate them. Let me talk to someone stationed on the other side of the room. Stay here so that I won't loose you too." Seriously? He expects me to stay in one spot when my daughter is missing in a room of 300 strangers? I decide to wait exactly three minutes. If he's not back in three minutes I'm leaving this spot. I look at my phone at least five times in the first thirty seconds.

"Lina. Carolina." I look up and walk the few steps toward where Ana Grace and Mia are seated. I try to smile so they won't know something is wrong. I sit on the chair that Elliot should be at. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm much better thank you. Are ya'll enjoying yourself?" Stupid country accent that only happens when I'm nervous.

"Yes. It's a shame you couldn't sit with us though." Grace tells me.

"It's okay. I'm with Andy and she keeps me well entertained. And she entertains Isabelle which is good. My table is fine." It's not fine. I'm trying not to be mad at anyone here. Isabelle being lost is making me anxious to just sit here. I keep looking around the room biting my lip. Some one places their hand over mine.

"I'm sure Elliot is on his way back to you now. Something must have happened to keep him away from you. You should have seen how he looked at you earlier. He loves you Lina." Mia was trying to reassure me. I smiled at her and kept looking. I was trying hard not to think about where he was. I wanted to trust him. I did trust him. Something happened, that's why he's not back.

"Next time it will be you who sits with us. I'll make sure of the seating arrangements myself." Grace came to sit on the other side of me. I noticed Ana bite her lip. She was trying to say something but stopped last minute. "Honestly Mia how could you be so careless. Sitting Katherine with us. You know we have to check the guest list the week of the event. Everything else is great but if you want to work as coping together's head planner things like this cant happen. You're my daughter but this is important." Mia was about to correct her but just shut her mouth of any talk back.

"I know mother. It won't happen again. It's important to me too." Mia looked upset at being lectured by her mother.

"Actually I offered to help with the guest list Grace but I was having morning sickness. Kate was visiting so I had her do it. I didn't think she would do something like this." Grace set her mouth in a tight line.

"Well I apologize for the incident dear. The room was filled to capacity and moving seats would cause other guests to think that the same could be done to them. It just creates an entire chaotic situation."

"It's fine Grace these things happen." I looked at the time. Exactly five minutes have passed. "I have to go do something. If you see Jason Taylor let him know I have my phone please. And if Elliot asks, tell him I need to speak with him please. I don't think he'll ask but just in case. Please let him know." They agreed and I started looking for Isabelle again. "Hi sorry to interrupt I know you're having fun but Isabelle is missing can you help me look for her?" I hated interrupting Mark and Andy's night but I needed them.

"Of course. I'll go with you and Mark has his phone so if one of us finds her call the other. I'll stay with you since you look stressed." We went to the lobby of the hotel, the bathrooms, the parking lot. Everywhere no sign of her. I was seriously panicking.

"Have you called Elliot maybe he's with her." Andy said when we were walking back to the ballroom after many failed attempts.

"I haven't seen Elliot. Not since he left with Kate after the first dance." She stopped me.

"You know that's probably why that waiter spilled water on you and Isabelle." Andy said.

"What are you talking about?"

"The waiter that spilled on your dresses. He didn't on purpose. You could tell even Mark said so. He was just kind of staring at you, walking around our table. As soon as you left the auction started. So you couldn't even bid on Elliot. That's kind of genius of Kate. But what a bitch." Holy shit she was right. I saw that waiter at least a dozen times before the water incident but after I couldn't see him anymore. And she must have known that I would bid on Elliot. That fucking bitch. She planned this whole thing out. And I didn't even notice

"Wait so you boyfriend is with his ex and you're not worried?" She was looking at me like I'm crazy.

"Yes he is. And I trust him okay. I... He loves me. I don't have time for this now I need to find Isabelle. Can we talk about that later. If you want to stay here and gossip about Elliot and that bitch then do that but I'm trying to find a fucking missing kid. I'm worried about Isabelle."

"Lina I'm not trying to gossip but that seems sketchy. They've been gone for at least an hour. Just call him. He may have her and we may be worried about nothing."

"It's not nothing Andrea! My five-year old is missing. She had a security member follow her and now the security member is not answering. No one has seen them. Her dad is off with some girl and I'm here freaking out! I just want to find her. I need to make sure she's okay. She hasn't had an episode in a few weeks but what if she has one today. Last time she ran away and jumped into the water. She couldn't even swim. I need to find her!" I was breathing hard. I sounded crazy. I calmed down and spoke like a sane person instead of yelling. "Just help me find her please." I was sounding the way I was feeling, desperate. I didn't want to call Elliot for two reasons: one I didn't want him to think that I'm checking on him and two I didn't want to tell him I lost Isabelle. If something happens to Isabelle it will be my fault. I took only three minutes and she was gone. I didn't care what Elliot thought. I dialed his number. It rang four times then went to voice mail. This time it rang eight times and still went to voice mail. "Damn it Elliot answer!" I was pacing hoping he would answer. I called about five times with no luck. "I'm going to tell Mia. Maybe she can help."

With lots of shame I walked to the table where all the Grey's, except Elliot, were laughing. "Um so I can't seem to find Isabelle do you know where she is. I went to the bathroom and when I came out she was gone. Taylor can't find Maynard either. I'm sorry. I don't want to bother you but it's been half an hour since I last saw her." Everyone stood and started looking for her. We agreed to come back to the table in 20 minutes if we hadn't found her to think of where she could be.

Twenty minutes later we were all back. I'm officially the worst parent ever. I was going to go out and look more when I saw Elliot walking with a very tired Isabelle. Maynard is following them. No Kate. "Isabelle! Where have you been. I told you not to leave. Do you know how worried I was. You can't do that again." She sleepily nodded her head and yawned. It was past eleven. This thing doesn't end until 1 am. Well I'm ready to leave. Isabelle sits on a chair and rests her head on the back. "Where was she?" I ask Elliot.

"Actually ma'am she went to the gardens in the back. She wanted me to take a picture of something and my phone fell into the pond. We stayed there for an extra twenty minutes. We were just walking back to the table when we ran into Mr. Grey and Miss Kavanagh. I apologize we should have informed you before going outside." Maynard said.

"It's fine. Just let me know next time. Thank you for watching her."

"Lina, baby, come." Elliot extends his hand to me. I grab it. I almost didn't because I was mad that he basically ditched me the entire night but the relief of finding her erases any bad emotions I had. Everyone takes a seat but Elliot pulled me to the dance floor. We start to dance.

"Is everything alright?" He nods his head but remains quiet and looking ahead. He grabs my face and stares into my eyes. Something is wrong with him. "Elliot where were you? What happened?" He shakes his head. He kisses me. His teeth pull on my bottom lip. His hands move to my head. The kiss is hot borderline inappropriate but there is so much emotion I can't stop him. I don't want him to. "Elliot what is it?"

"I don't want to lose you." He sounds so upset.

"You haven't. I'm right here. I'll always be here. As long as you want me to stay I will." I kiss him. There is a tone about his voice that makes me afraid. Afraid of what he will say or do. Of what he did. "What happened? What did you do?"

"You'll hate me." Oh what did he do. Regardless of my dislike for his words and everything going on I don't let him go. I'm afraid if I let go I'll lose him.

"That's not true. I love you. I love you so much Elliot just tell me." I don't know what he did but it scares me. Losing him scares me like nothing else. I've already had heart break I don't know if I could do it again. For some reason a tear falls from my eye. He wipes it away.

"I'm always making you cry. That all I'm good at. I just came and fucked up your life. You would be so much better without me." He's been drinking. He's not drunk but I can taste the familiar vodka flavor on his tongue.

"That's not true either. You're the best thing to happen to me. My life was horrible before you. We can work it out. Just talk to me. Don't you love me?" His fingers are pulling my hair, messing it from it's up-do. He rests his forehead against mine.

"So fucking much. All I do is think of you. I love you so much Carolina Reid." Before I say anything his lips are on mine moving at a speed that is amazing. He is so passionate and loving. I don't know if a minute or an hour pass by but I can't remove myself from him.

"Elliot." Someone is calling him. That voice is damn annoying. We stop and look at where the noise is coming from. Seriously it's fucking Kate. She gives Elliot a nod. He nods and kissed me one last time hard before letting me go. He says I love you then starts to walk away.

"Elliot where are you going?" I say when he looks at me. I grab his hand. "Why are you leaving with her?" He shakes his head clearing his head. "Elliot talk to me."

He presses his lips to my forehead. "I love YOU. Remember that." He pulls his arm out of my reach and follows Kate out. She holds his arm, looks back at me smiling triumphantly. Rejection and betrayal are the only words I can use to describe what I'm feeling. He didn't even look back. I stood in the middle of the dance floor with my hair done, in an overly expensive, revealing dress trying to impress my boyfriend. What does he do? Abandons me all night, and leaves with an ex girlfriend. I tried to breathe slowly so I wouldn't burst out in tears.

I walk back to Isabelle ready to take her home when I notice Elliot's family and my friends starring at me. Everyone is speechless. I wake Isabelle up from the chair where she is sleeping. "Isabelle, sweetie come let's go to sleep."

"Go home?" She mumbles standing up.

"Not tonight you and me are gonna sleep in a hotel room upstairs. It's gonna be fun." I try to be enthusiastic for her sake but everyone can tell it's an act.

"Okay. Daddy is coming too?" I can't lie to her. I can't even lie for my own sake.

"No sweetie it's just us. We can have a girl sleep over. I'll even put on a movie for you." My throat is constricting with all the emotion.

"Did daddy go with that lady?" I ignore her. "Why didn't he dance with me?" I guess I wasn't the only one whose feeling were hurt by Elliot tonight.

"He was a little busy talking to other people. It's okay he still loves you. Next time. Let's go." She is stumbling but my heels are hurting my feet and make it impossible to carry her.

"I'll get her ma'am." Jason says to me picking Isabelle up. She rests on his shoulder.

"I'm going to call it a night. Thank you all for inviting me. It was a great party." It was great. Not for me but other people may have enjoyed it.

"What did Elliot say to you dear?" Grace was concerned and a little embarrassed for asking.

"Nothing... He didn't say anything."

Jason sets Isabelle on the bed and leaves but reminds me that someone will be outside should I need anything. He also makes a point to tell me that Mia and Ana are also staying at the hotel tonight. I guess he expects me to call one of them. But I don't. I don't want to talk to any one except Elliot. Well not even Elliot.

I first get Isabelle in her pajamas then let her rest. I go to the living room and look out the window. Being on the sixteenth floor has it's perks. The view was spectacular. I could see the space needle from so far away. Seattle skyline is amazing this late.

After gazing a few minutes I return to the bathroom. There was a full size mirror. My hair is still in tact and my make up is perfect. I got both done by a professional. I wanted to look nice for Elliot. I remove my shoes of and the dress being too long for me without heels, folds at the end. As I start taking the pins out of my hair I start getting angry. I reach for a face cloth to remove my makeup. How could he just leave like that? How could he leave with her?

The last week has been incredible but after today I'm questioning everything he said in the past few months. I hate to think it but what if he's cheating on me. What am I suppose to do. I'm between in a rock and a hard place. I could just break up with him but then I would never see Isabelle. Not if Kate is in the picture. Or I could just stay with him and get to see Isabelle but would I stay with him if he betrayed me like that!

I pull the straps off my shoulder and the dress slides off my body. I couldn't wear a bra because of the construction if the dress. I was really looking forward to tonight. Not just for the sex but I thought it would be nice to be out with Elliot. As I look in the mirror I start feeling sorry for myself. I was left with Elliot's daughter in a room full of strangers and his family. They even watched as he left with someone else. How do you face some one after they have seen your boyfriend abandon you for the night. He's probably sleeping with her. Touching her the way he would touch me. Maybe I was another conquest.

I get into my pajamas and get in bed. I laid in the middle of the bed. So that he won't come and think there is room for him. He won't come though. He won't come. The realization hit me. He chose her. After everything he wants her. I start to cry. Sometime after I fall asleep when all my energy is gone.

I wake up feeling horrible. I go to the bathroom and vomit. Maybe I drank too much last night. It's 11. I'm surprised Isabelle is still asleep. I'm not complaining I'll have a minute to myself. When I walk back to the room I notice Elliot's suitcase still untouched. He didn't come. I knew he wouldn't but I still had hope that he wouldn't be with her. After showering and putting some make up on to hide the puffiness of my eyes I order Isabelle and I breakfast. Chocolate chip pancakes and a spinach omelette. And some Nutella.

I walk into Isabelle's room and wake her up. After getting her showered and dressed we go to the living room to put some tv on while we wait for breakfast, or lunch I guess. After what seems like forever there is a knock at the door. It wasn't room service though.

Christian Grey is standing outside.

"Good morning." I say as enthusiastically as I can. "Would you like to come in?"

"Yes thank you. I came to see how you were both doing. Did you enjoy your stay?" I didn't know he was in charge of hospitality in the hotel.

"It was fine thank you." Awkward silence. "Is everything okay?" Maybe something is wrong with Elliot.

"Yes. I'm here for you. To talk about my idiot brothers... Choices." I nodded my head for him to continue. "I apologize for his action. We don't know what is happening with him. Something must be wrong if he ignored you the way he did. Where is my brother?"

"You don't have to apologize for his behavior. He's... Sleeping." I lied I didn't want to have anymore questions. I thought he would let yesterday's events go if I just told him Elliot came here.

"Of course. Is there anything I can do?" Why was he being so nice? I changed the subject.

"Why did you have your employee bet on Mia?" He sat up straighter.

"I don't agree with Mia's choice of men."

"Seriously? That was about Luke." He gave a nod. "You bet one hundred fifty dollars so that your sister would spend one less dance with her boyfriend. Whom she lives with."

"She can do better." What a brother. It's kinda cute.

"Because she's your sister?" He raised an eye brow. So I raised mine and smirked.

"She can do better." He repeated.

"You do realized that you're just pushing her away. You two don't get along in family dinners because you refuse to accept her boy friend. Elliot is more accepting of Luke so we see them at least once a week, not including your moms Sunday dinners." He looked angry. I don't care. "What would you have done if Mia didn't accept Ana. If she treated Ana the way you treat Luke. You want Mia to break up with Luke. Would you have left Ana?"

"That's different."

"How? He went to school, is an ex marine, he can provide for her. And he loves her. You hired him to protect your wife. Your pregnant wife why is he not good enough to protect you sister. Just think about you can't do the whole age thing. Mia is a few months younger than Ana." He looks out at the sky line. Since I have him here I might as well use him. "Christian, Isabelle's schooling was being paid for by one of your employees. We have asked the school for the name of the person but we have to wait for the name to come back. Would you happen to know who it was?" I know he's going to say no.

"No." I was right. "I have thousands of employees miss Reid, I don't track all of their financial records. However if it was being payed by a GEH employee account they won't give you the name of the person they will give you an account number. When you have the account number, give it to Welch and I will have him look the name up for you. Even if it's him." Well that was easy. I thought after a semi lecture about Mia he would tell me to fuck off.

Isabelle came into the room and stood behind me. "Does Christian scare you?" She looked at me smiling and nodded.

Christian cleared his throat. "Actually the reason I'm here is to invite you both to have breakfast with us."

"You and Ana?"

"And Mia and my parents."

"Can I go too?" Isabelle asked shyly.

He gave her a creepy smile. "You have to sit next to me." She considered it but nodded her head. "Well then I'll se you upstairs. In fifteen minutes. The food you ordered will be delivered to my room. 1901. It's the presidential suite. You can get lost. Maynard will follow you. Laters."

I wasn't sure what to think of Christian. He was really bossy. He would be nice but as soon as you showed him some kind of emption he would go back to being in bossy mode. Whatever he wasn't my problem. My problem was lost. Or at least not here. Ten minutes later our things were packeted and would be ready to take to the car when we came back after breakfast.

I thought all that would happen during breakfast was that everyone would question me on Elliot but no one mentioned it. No one even talked about yesterday. I was glad. I don't think I could lie to everyone about Eliot "sleeping" in our room.

Sometime during breakfast Elliot walked in. He was wearing the same clothes from yesterday. His shirt was wrinkled and his bow tie undone. He pulled a chair and sat next to me. I looked at him and he tried to kiss me but I turned my head before his lips touched mine. He kissed my cheek instead. Did this asshole really think that he could just come and I would be happy, that everything was okay. I looked at him and he looked back smiling. He put his arm around my chair and kissed my head. He forced my face to look at him. "I love you Lina."

"Dont touch me, Elliot." I turned my head again and balled my hands into a fist so they wouldn't shake. Everyone was looking at us in confusion.

"So what's for breakfast?" Elliot was talking to Isabelle. All of breakfast was awkward for me now. He kept trying to touch me but I pushed him away. "Don't be like this, talk to me." I ignored him. "Come on baby. I'm sorry okay." He was so casual about this.

"Sorry doesn't fix everything. I don't want to talk about it now. Not in front of your family and especially not in front of Isabelle. So stop touching me." I've never denied his touch. I've never wanted to. I really what to leave. Go home. But I don't have a home. Not really. It's Elliot's house he can easily tell me to leave and I have to. I try to eat more but I lost my appetite. The rest of the meal I sat silently. No one talked to me and I didn't talk to them. Elliot stopped bothering me.

We said out goodbyes and Elliot followed us back to our room. I still didn't talk. Once inside the room I check for any thing that I might have left behind but it was all there.

"Lina do you mind waiting so I can shower. We can head home after."

"I mind. We are leaving now. You can stay and take a cab home." I said crossing my arms.

"Lina it will only take five minutes."

"You could have done that this morning but you weren't here. So I'm leaving. Are you coming?" I wish I would have just made him take a cab. I wasn't in the mood to sit in a car with him for thirty minutes.

"Fuck! Fine lets go. Here let me get your bag."

"I can take it myself. Just get yours and Isabelle's." I was being petty but I had a right to be.

We arrived home an hour later. Traffic took a long time and checking out was a drag. The rest of the day I avoided him. I locked myself in his office doing some work and watching movies alone. I needed to be calm before we talked.

"Where were you?" I said when I walked into his bedroom that night.

"I've been here all day. You would know if you came out and talked to me."

"No yesterday. What happened?"

"Nothing happened." I laughed at that.

"What do you mean nothing happened you were with Kate all night and I don't see you until morning what happened?"

"Are you going to be one of those girlfriends who keeps track of me?" I'm not going to hit him.

"I'm not keeping track of you."

"Sounds like you are."

"It took me two hours to get ready. I did my hair for you and I wore a dress. And you just left me. Do you know how pathetic it makes me feel? That I tried to look nice for you and you leave me to hang out with your ex. Or how embarrassing it was that you left me literally on the dance floor and walked out with her. I went to this party for you and you just left me there. Your entire family and my friends saw how you just disregarded me. They all saw you walk out with her." I was shouting by the end of that.

"I didn't want to leave you but I had to talk to Kate"

"Why didn't you say something. You could have told me. I spent all night waiting for you to come back so we could spend time together. And the one hour I wasn't sitting down waiting for you I spent looking for Isabelle because I couldn't find her. I tried to call you so you could help me. Where were you then?"

"I didn't know she was lost. I would have helped-"he stuttered but I couldn't stop yelling at him.

"But you didn't because you weren't there! And I called like ten times and you didn't even answer the fucking phone. What if something had happened to her?" I was near tears now.

"Lina I'm sorry."

"Did you sleep with her?" I said quietly.

"What? No. I wouldn't do that to you. How could you think that?"

"What am I suppose to think?"

"You're suppose to trust me."

"I can't trust you if you keep things from me."

"You kept something important from me if I remember correctly." He said in spite.

"I didn't tell you because I thought you would leave me. I didn't tell you because it's hard for me to talk about that." The tears spilled.

"Lina..."

"what happened, what was so important that you had to be gone all night?"

"Lina it doesn't matter."

"It matters to me Elliot!"

"Don't worry about it. I didn't sleep with her I didn't kiss her. Nothing happened between us."

"Then why can't you tell me?" I said desperately. He was running his hand through his hair. I breathed slowly and kneeled in front of him. If yelling wasn't going to work than I should try to just be nice and he'll tell me. Hopefully.

"Because..." He stopped and looked at me.

"I love you Elliot if you didn't sleep with her than anything else we can work through." I touched his face, along his ear then moved my hand to his hair. He sighed and looked down.

"Lina, Kate said she's pregnant.


End file.
